The Documentary was Powerful!

My husband and I were watching a documentary about the terrible dust storms in the midwest in the 1920s and 1930s, the devastation and poverty of the people living in that area were beyond belief.

We are so spoiled in our country we complain over the smallest matters and feel no sense of shame over our ungratefulness.

I believe the lack of empathy, kindness, and entitlement mentality extends to everything in our lives. Our culture is Spiritually and emotionally bankrupt without the ability to be grateful. This is the reason we see so much silly drama about nothing important.

Feelings get hurt over the silliest and most ridiculous things as though they are of any importance. The absurdity of making feelings more important than facts has caused people to resist any discussion over problems to resolve them.

Since "feelings" have become sacred and rational reasonable discussion has become embarrassing and to be avoided, problems are not really problems except in the minds of those who have elevated their own feelings to the level l of a god, an idol in their own mind to be worshiped.

Since feelings take priority over reality we have many people who are messaging their feelings without regard to finding out the truth or understanding another person. These unseen gods of feelings can never be evaluated or inspected for truthfulness.

anyone who attempts to get to the bottom of a problem will be seen as mean-spirited, ignored and mocked because they dare to think rationally and reasonably.

1 Corinthians 2:16 l

“For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ.

Romans 12:2

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

When we think with the mind of Christ we will not be overly sensitive about criticism or correction, in fact it will serve us well as we grow in holiness.

Heaping Hot Coals of Kindness is a Work of God, Not our own Work

If we are being kind to someone to "heap hot coals of kindness" in an attempt to manipulate their feelings then we are sinning. When God said to heap hot coals of kindness He did not mean we should do it to make others feel sad and guilty.

God's meaning was that if we are loving and kind genuinely it could heap coals on someone's head. This does not mean we should deliberately "heap coals" to make others feel bad, this is the same as revenge and the one we do it to will know it is manipulation and not kindness but rather malicious self-serving prideful vindictiveness to inflict more pain, this is not love but hate.

So often I see superficial believers using the scripture to justify revenge while calling it something else. When anyone does this it is sin and God hates it.

Romans 12:9 "Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good."

It is clearly hypocritical to exact revenge through phony kindness knowing your desire is to hurt another human being, whether it be through acting superior to them or just out and out demeaning through counterfeit Christianity posing as love.

It is evil and self-serving to do your own heaping coals of kindness. If the coals of kindness come it ought to be through the Holy Spirit as He works empathy and His kind of love in us in all that we do and to all whom we do it.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

4 Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant.

5 It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered,

6 it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away with; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away with."

Heaping hot coals for our own purposes is sin and a form of "humble boasting", as if to say; "look at me, I am better than you."

Let's not be phony, manipulative and mean-spirited through heaping our own coals of kindness, let's ask God to work genuine traits of love by the power of the Holy Spirit through the expression of His traits as listed in His Word.

Love and its Expressions

Love has a wide range of expressions. If it ever includes discipline then it ought to show a great deal of empathy toward those who need to be encouraged to stop their sin and return to the fold cleansed of their sin through confession and forgiveness.

Without confession, there can be no forgiveness. Confession and forgiveness are two sides to the same coin that leads to reconciliation. No one can be reconciled if one party refuses to confess or when they confess the other side will not forgive. Both are necessary for reconciliation.

There is a deep cleansing that occurs in someone who is willing to own their sins enough to confess. There can be no cleansing and no character reform without confession of sin.

It doesn't even matter for the one who confesses if they are forgiven, only that they own it. Those who are commanded to forgive when someone confesses will become bitter and are in sin by not forgiving.

In order for confession and forgiveness to occur God's way there must be a discussion of what happened. Without discussion of the problem confession and forgiveness do nothing, they are only words that hit the ceiling and fall to the ground.

We live in a culture that thinks and acts as though we are to "just let everything go without discussion. It is not possible to trust someone who has offended you when they will not have a discussion for the purpose of learning the hurt and heart of the other person.

Those who love others want to understand and they hate to do anything that is offensive. Prideful people justify themselves or outright deny the things they do. They will often blame the victim of their abuse for the problems in their relationships.

Let me be clear.....no one will change their character who refuses to own their own wrong attitudes and actions. They cannot be trusted if they cannot be honest about the details. They can also not be trusted if they justify bad behavior by blaming others.

If we are empathetic, kind and loving we will want to admit where we went wrong, people who do this will grow emotionally and spiritually.

Those who go to the end of their life remaining stubborn, refusing to admit their wrong attitudes and actions will not grow and will even regress, becoming more childish as they grow older.

Do not be a fool, self reflect often, admit often and keep comparing yourself with Christ and you will never have a high opinion of yourself or a low opinion of others.

Proverbs 26:1-12

"Similitudes and Instructions

26 Like snow in summer and like rain in harvest,

So honor is not fitting for a fool.

2 Like a sparrow in its flitting, like a swallow in its flying,

So a curse without cause does not come to rest.

3 A whip is for the horse, a bridle for the donkey,

And a rod for the back of fools.

4 Do not answer a fool according to his foolishness,

Or you will also be like him.

5 Answer a fool as his foolishness deserves,

So that he will not be wise in his own eyes.

6 One who sends a message by the hand of a fool

Chops off his own feet and drinks violence.

7 Like useless legs to one who cannot walk,

So is a proverb in the mouths of fools.

8 Like one who binds a stone in a sling,

So is one who gives honor to a fool.

9 Like a thorn that sticks in the hand of a heavy drinker,

So is a proverb in the mouths of fools.

10 Like an archer who wounds everyone,

So is one who hires a fool or hires those who pass by.

11 Like a dog that returns to its vomit,

So is a fool who repeats his foolishness.

12 Do you see a person wise in his own eyes?

There is more hope for a fool than for him."

When a friend is content to pretend nothing is wrong when an offense has occurred, we know this person is not a friend. A true friend hates offending others, no matter who it is that became offended. We want to clear it up, if there is no desire to clear up an offense we know this person is not our friend.

If we don't care enough about a relationship to want to clear misunderstandings up or to confess a sin, then we are no-ones friend either.

Deuteronomy: Why It’s Hard to Love God