Comfort the Victim not the Perp

There is nothing more painful for the victim than to have others coddle and embrace the wicked person who harmed them, even chastising and bludgeoning the victim to manipulate them to forgive.

I can't think of anything more twisted than this. When we coddle the perpetrators of evil we make the evil grow. As believers in Christ our job is to comfort the down trodden, not those who down trodden the victim.

There is such a thing as justice, we are only required to forgive someone if they are repentant. We are commanded not to forgive those who refuse to be sorry, God doesn't and we should not either. Consequences are the only thing that wicked people can understand. Without consequences, there is no humbling or sense of shame for evil behavior.

Ephesians 4:32…31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, outcry and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and tender-hearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.

As Christ forgave you! How did Christ forgive? He forgave through repentance, without confession of sin there is no forgiveness, without confession of sin there is no change in the heart or behavior.

1 John 1:9
"IF we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Did anyone notice that "IF", in 1 John? We are not forgiven by God if we will not be sorry and God does not require us to forgive when evil people will not be sorry. Just because we cannot forgive the unrepentant wicked, does not mean we automatically become bitter, that is a lie of psychology, having nothing to do with the Bible.

I have grown weary of the victims of abuse being bludgeoned and pressured to forgive their wicked abusers while the abuser feels no sense of pressure but rather even blessing from misguided self righteous believers, who desire to be seen as good by the world. Throwing the victim under the bus while coddling the evil perpetrator only serves to devalue the victim.

The requirement for forgiveness is confession and sorrow over the sin. God operates this way and He expects us to do so too. This is about reconciliation, there can be none when someone has harmed another person, is not sorry for doing so and will continue that evil unless they are stopped.

Proverbs 28:13
"Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy."

Psalm 32:5
"I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah"

The reason we have so many people in our society that believe we and God are obligated to forgive even if they are not sorry and have no intention of stopping their evil, is because of this foolish ungodly, unbiblical doctrine of forgiving even if someone is not sorry.

You will not find one scripture that says we forgive for our own sake. Forgiveness is for the sake of reconciling a relationship. Relationships cannot be reconciled if there is not sorrow over the sin.

Acts 19:18
"Also many of those who were now believers came, confessing and divulging their practices."

We are commanded to forgive when the offender is sorry, not before.

John 20:22-23
"And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you withhold forgiveness from any, it is withheld.”

James 4:7-10
"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you."

We do the wicked no favors by giving them a pass on the evil that they do and we have no love or empathy for the victims when we bludgeon them to forgive without repentance on the part of the evil one.

Comforting the Wicked is Evil

This is the foolishness and evil of the psychological thinking of our day. The wicked man gets the compassion while the victim is pressured to forgive an unrepentant evil person. Unbelievable.

Follow the link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNjZ41BS1RE&feature=em-uploademail

Let Christ Be Their Crutch

Sometimes the worst thing we can do for people is to continually prop them up. They become weak because we have allowed them to depend on us.

Helping people is wonderful, right and good, until we are doing for them what they should do for themselves. Then we become their crutch, instead of allowing their crutch to be Jesus Christ.

Constantly propping up someone else makes them weaker. Support should be temporary, except when it is Christ supporting someone, then that help from God should be continual.

When we attempt to play God by supporting someone too much, then we are not helping them, but rather weakening them. Perhaps deep in our soul we are more concerned about being liked than we are about the overall well being of our friend.

We must realize that help becomes a hindrance to growth when that help causes our friend to depend on us rather than Christ.

The best thing we can do for our friend is to guide them to Christ, giving them a temporary boost and then letting them fly by themselves for a time to learn dependence on Christ. We can be there for them with encouragement and prayer, while allowing them to work through with Christ.

We live in a culture that praises far too much. Everyone needs to be able to do and be what is right when no one is praising them for it. People pleasers are more concerned about "appearing" helpful and encouraging than they are about actually "being" so.

The only One that anyone should depend upon is the Lord Jesus Christ. All friendships should point us to Christ at all times, making Him and His principles a priority.

When we meet someone who wants our help but rejects God's way of help, based on His principles, then we should have no other help to give them. It is time to walk away, allow them to flounder and fail until they see their need for Christ. We do no one any favors by removing their dependence on Christ.

To replace Christ in someone's life by being their help for them continually, is to play God. Notice I said "continually." We ought to be there for our brothers and sisters whenever needed, however we must be discerning to be able to know when our help is through Christ or whether it is our own desire to be elevated. We must be willing to do the hard thing to help our friend become dependent on Christ and successful in their Christian walk, sometimes that is to say no, in a kind and loving way.

Never feel guilty about letting go to let God, when the Holy Spirit is speaking this to us. Never give into the pressure of others expectations of us, we must be completely dependent on Christ to resist the pressure from others to do their will over the will of God.

Romans 12:2
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

Ephesians 5:17
"Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is."

1 John 2:16-17
"For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever."

Matthew 6:33
"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."