Our narcissistic modern world wants us to keep everything a secret, after all narcissists know what they do and say is evil, so they cloak it in covert language to hide it from onlookers while knowing that their target will understand. Evil people count on good people being sensitive to gossip, using this intimidation to keep their secrets.
The best way to stop the mouth of the narcissist is to expose their schemes. Tell the world what they do and say, so that fear is brought about in the heart of a narcissist.
One of the most damaging false doctrines that has emerged in modern times is the foolish idea that we should forgive the unrepentant. This is selfish, to help the narcissist to feel a victory in his evil by allowing him to expect forgiveness no matter what he does, only increases his confidence that evil works, even hardening his heart to truth. The only reason for doing this is to protect ourselves from wrong judgements of others who have been indoctrinated into this false doctrine, appearing to the the good guy. The opinions of others are more important than God's principles of discpline.
If everyone obeyed the Word and forgave WHEN THERE IS REPENTANCE, then the narcissist would learn to modify his behavior, possibly leaving him more open to the gospel of repentance. When we lead him to have a view of God as forgiving when there is no repentance, he will never see his need to confess or repent to God or anyone else. He will see God as a paper doll puppet that winks at sin and tolerates evil. He will demand forgiveness from others no matter what his heart condition, while operating as though God owes it to him.
The sins of our brothers and sisters should separate them from us, until they are broken and repentant over them. God commanded us to be separate from unbelievers in relationships. Our contact with non-believers should be for the purpose of the gospel, not to be close friends.
We expose sin and separate ourselves from believers so their relationships with God will be restored. We expose and separate ourselves from non-believers so they will learn there will be no access to God or heaven without confession and repentance. We remain in the lives of people to help them either to become born again or to be restored as a believer, but we do not make the unrepentant our friends on a regular basis.
Our modern psychology that concocted this foolish notion of forgiving without repentance has created a culture that indulges in their sin rather than seeing the damaging nature of it. It also applies pressure to the innocent to continue contact with evil people and forgive them, while enduring their continual abuse. An unrepentant person will not change their ways, until they are broken over their win. There is no love in counseling a broken person who has been victimized by the wicked, to forgive them and continue contact with them. There may be some cases like this led by the Lord, where the victim has been compelled to do this, but it should never be a pressure from other outside sources. If this happens, it should be a prompting from God in their own spirit. Our sympathies and protection should always be with the victim first.
Isaiah 59:2 "But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear."
1 Timothy 5:20 "Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear."
Titus 1:13 "This witness is true. Wherefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith;"
I was once told by someone that we should protect everyone's reputation, even the evil doer. This is patently wrong and unBiblical, not to mention silly. God clearly told us to expose those who are evil. We are to protect the reputation of a righteous man by defending lies against him, but we are commanded to expose the evil of someone who is walking wickedly.
1 Peter 2:12 "Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation."
Often, mean and manipulative people are protected by ignorant people out of fear of being seen as a gossip. The evil person never changes his behavior because he believes it works and he will not be exposed.
Ephesians 5:11 "Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them;"
Exposure can be a blessing to those who are sinning, it forces them to face their sin, giving them a greater chance to repent and receive true forgiveness, allowing their relationship to be restored or in the case of the unsaved, to become born again.
All this teaching about forgiveness when there is no repentance has created a lot of fakers to remain in the body without challenge while living blatantly in sin, enjoying their evil as they influence new and weak believers. Those who forgive before someone is repentant are prideful, enjoying their "sacrificial" martyr type attitude, when all they are accomplishing is for sin to run rampant through our churches and our culture. Every place we see forgiveness in the Word, it is connected with repentance. No where in the Word are we told to forgive the unrepentant.
1 Corinthians 5:6-8 "6 Your boasting is not good. Don’t you know that a little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough?
7 Get rid of the old yeast, so that you may be a new unleavened batch—as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed.
8 Therefore let us keep the Festival, not with the old bread leavened with malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth."
2 Corinthians 6:17 "Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,"
1 Corinthians 5:17 "But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person."
Ezekiel 33:7-9 "7 “Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the people of Israel; so hear the word I speak and give them warning from me. 8 When I say to the wicked, ‘You wicked person, you will surely die,’ and you do not speak out to dissuade them from their ways, that wicked person will die for their sin, and I will hold you accountable for their blood. 9 But if you do warn the wicked person to turn from their ways and they do not do so, they will die for their sin, though you yourself will be saved."
It would be good for all believers to stop and pray about everything we were taught, comparing it with the Word of God, if it is not accurate then throw it away. Many things our modern apostate church believes today, was brought in through the evil medium of psychology. We have gone down to Egypt for our help rather than turning to Christ for the wisdom. Egypt has always been a euphemism for the world and its' ways.
Egypt is in the church today and because of this, the church is an apostate mess, filled with pretenders and wolves who are proud of themselves for forgiving the unrepentant.
John 12:43 "For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God."
God is not impressed with our forgiveness given without repentance, only men are impressed.
1 Corinthians 5:1-2 "5 It is actually reported that there is immorality among you, and immorality of such a kind as does not exist even among the Gentiles, that someone has his father’s wife. 2 You have become arrogant and have not mourned instead, so that the one who had done this deed would be removed from your midst."
How terrible it must have been for the husband of the woman, whose son was sleeping with his wife, knowing that an entire church was "just forgiving him." How completely ridiculous is this. Many people are harmed by the deeds of evil men, but the one who gets the understanding and love is not the victim but the perp. How utterly hateful to the victim for an entire church to embrace the sinner while in essence throwing the victim under the bus.
Let us stop acting self righteously by forgiving evil people who are not repentant and begin loving the victims and our love for the perps should require a changed heart from them,
