No one is sinless even after they are born again. It is Christ Who must be our righteousness to get into heaven. His blood covers the sin of those who have trusted Him. He changed them into a new creation. Their spirit is filled with that of Christ's Spirit, but the body is still dead in sin and we must battle that continually until we get our new bodies.
Notice that when we die our bodies cannot go into heaven with us because it is corrupted. But our spirit leaves our body and goes to God. Our body must be resurrected and made new before it can unite again with our spirit.
Galatians 5:17 "16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh craves what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary the flesh. They are opposed to one another, so that you do not do what you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law.…"
Tuesday, June 14, 2016
Remove the Noses From Others Marriages
I have adult children who have decided what I should be doing in my life. They judge me as a disrespectful and unsubmissive wife for occasionally saying no to my husband.
I love to please my husband, but I cannot agree with every single thing just as he does not always agree with me. Each of us must be considerate about the boundaries of others even in marriage. A truly loving marriage allows each partner to make their own choices based on personal convictions.
Never allow anyone else to dictate how we operate in our own marriages. Adult children who have chosen to judge us for not doing things their way, are dangerous to marriage relationships.
I was once treated with disrespect and contempt because my husband wanted to watch a movie I didn't feel I could watch. The excuse I was given for the contempt is that I should have watched the movie with my husband.
It wasn't any business of the adult children to decide what I should watch or whom I should watch it with. It was the business of the children to respect my choice to guard my own heart, even honoring me for having convictions.
When we are treated with contempt because we won't do what others want us to do, that is the time to walk away from those who will not honor our decisions for ourselves.
I love doing things with my husband, I love supporting him in things that do not violate my own conscience. However, I will never violate my own conscience to please anyone else, no matter what their reaction.
This was a classic example of scripture twisting that a woman should obey her husband in everything, even a movie, are you kidding me.. We are never called to do everything our husband wants us to do. We are called to obey God first and seek to help our husband in areas that do not violate our conscience or convictions.
To demean, mock, ignore and gossip about another person for not indulging in the same entertainment with their husband, is nothing more than devilish control. My husband has his line and I have my line, thankfully over the years the two lines came closer to the same place.
This however is none of the children's business. Adult children need to remove their noses from our business if they cannot refrain from judging others over our own choices within our own marriages.
I love to please my husband, but I cannot agree with every single thing just as he does not always agree with me. Each of us must be considerate about the boundaries of others even in marriage. A truly loving marriage allows each partner to make their own choices based on personal convictions.
Never allow anyone else to dictate how we operate in our own marriages. Adult children who have chosen to judge us for not doing things their way, are dangerous to marriage relationships.
I was once treated with disrespect and contempt because my husband wanted to watch a movie I didn't feel I could watch. The excuse I was given for the contempt is that I should have watched the movie with my husband.
It wasn't any business of the adult children to decide what I should watch or whom I should watch it with. It was the business of the children to respect my choice to guard my own heart, even honoring me for having convictions.
When we are treated with contempt because we won't do what others want us to do, that is the time to walk away from those who will not honor our decisions for ourselves.
I love doing things with my husband, I love supporting him in things that do not violate my own conscience. However, I will never violate my own conscience to please anyone else, no matter what their reaction.
This was a classic example of scripture twisting that a woman should obey her husband in everything, even a movie, are you kidding me.. We are never called to do everything our husband wants us to do. We are called to obey God first and seek to help our husband in areas that do not violate our conscience or convictions.
To demean, mock, ignore and gossip about another person for not indulging in the same entertainment with their husband, is nothing more than devilish control. My husband has his line and I have my line, thankfully over the years the two lines came closer to the same place.
This however is none of the children's business. Adult children need to remove their noses from our business if they cannot refrain from judging others over our own choices within our own marriages.
Let the Holy Spirit Be Your Guide
(Some concepts written here were taken from a talk by Tom Joseph and another one by Suzanne Harwill, some are my own. In some cases I have added a little to their comments to explain further.)
Never make a decision based on the emotions of others or our own emotions. We must make decisions based on facts and on what God is showing us.
Trust what we know, do not trust what you feel or what others feel.
Never violate a sense you are having, it may be God speaking to you. Ask Him for clarity to discern truth.
Do not agree with anyone simply to agree to avoid conflict. Remain true to your conviction.
Never fear the reactions of others! We can be conditioned to fear through the manipulation of others. Never check with the person who is using and abusing you. Make your decisions separate from others and based on God's truth. There is no problem with seeking the counsel of wise people, but the decisions we make must ultimately be our own based on Scripture.
Do not be controlled by others who use Bible Scriptures. Often they are taken out of context to control others.
Ignore the accusations of others that we are selfish, it will be used often to guilt us into giving a selfish person what they want.
Do not admit blame just to avoid a fight, only admit you are wrong when you really are wrong. I find no scripture that instructs us to lie and say were were guilty when we were not.
Stop rescuing others from their problems! When someone has made their own life miserable by their sin, never attempt to bail them out. Allow God to work in someone's life through their dilemmas.
Often people use and abuse those who have a tender heart. The one with a tender heart may actually be removing the consequences necessary for a rebellious heart to seek God.
When we say "yes" to people more than we say "no", perhaps we are an easily manipulated person who fears rejection. If we base a relationship on continual concern about another person's reaction then we are basing our decisions on manipulation rather than truth or reasonableness.
It is common for manipulators to desire for their target to remain sick so they can maintain control. This is what gaslighting is all about. Keeping a person in a continual state of fear of doing something wrong allows for greater control.
I have seen many times those who use guilt and demeaning to keep a person feeling as though they are bad or wrong. When someone can get another person to believe this, they will be more easily controlled, feeling "less than" allows the abuser to keep us where they want us, in short, giving them everything they want so they won't be unhappy with us, while allowing them feel superior.
There is nothing more desirable to an abuser than to be superior to others. This is the reason they continually "assume" things framing them in a way that makes us bad or wrong and them good and right.
When we are continually demeaned in this way, we are more easily controlled by those who have no interest in our welfare, only in their own self aggrandizement.
When we are controlled by our emotions, it will be impossible to do what is needed. The fear of rejection or an argument keeps us from moving forward with what is right.
We ought never to serve because of the pressure and reactions of others. We must give because God is leading us and we love to obey Him. People often will demand things of us that God never called us to do. They will act as though we are bad or mean if we don't do what they want. There is an easy answer that God gave me years ago, simply say to those who ask us to do things that we are not called to do, "oh I must tell you that God has not called me to do that."
The reaction of others is not relevant to the decision we make. If we find ourselves in continual conflict with others because they don't like our decision to obey God rather than man, then we can count those friends as acquaintances rather than friends, while spending more time with those who respect our personal decisions.
When we hear or give counsel to someone, it is vitally important that we allow each person to decide for themselves what their actions will be. Forcing others to think as we do is not the job of the believer. We can share our views, but honor the decisions of others, when there is no sin involved.
Mocking and manipulating others to get them to do what we want is hate not love. It causes harm to those we should love. When there is no sin, only disagreement, we must respect the right of others to decide for themselves their course of actions.
Those who use judging as a tactic to demean us, when the judgment is merely their own opinion, then we can be sure the relationship is going to be a rocky one, it is best to remove ourselves from these people.
2 Timothy 3:1-5
"3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
Never make a decision based on the emotions of others or our own emotions. We must make decisions based on facts and on what God is showing us.
Trust what we know, do not trust what you feel or what others feel.
Never violate a sense you are having, it may be God speaking to you. Ask Him for clarity to discern truth.
Do not agree with anyone simply to agree to avoid conflict. Remain true to your conviction.
Never fear the reactions of others! We can be conditioned to fear through the manipulation of others. Never check with the person who is using and abusing you. Make your decisions separate from others and based on God's truth. There is no problem with seeking the counsel of wise people, but the decisions we make must ultimately be our own based on Scripture.
Do not be controlled by others who use Bible Scriptures. Often they are taken out of context to control others.
Ignore the accusations of others that we are selfish, it will be used often to guilt us into giving a selfish person what they want.
Do not admit blame just to avoid a fight, only admit you are wrong when you really are wrong. I find no scripture that instructs us to lie and say were were guilty when we were not.
Stop rescuing others from their problems! When someone has made their own life miserable by their sin, never attempt to bail them out. Allow God to work in someone's life through their dilemmas.
Often people use and abuse those who have a tender heart. The one with a tender heart may actually be removing the consequences necessary for a rebellious heart to seek God.
When we say "yes" to people more than we say "no", perhaps we are an easily manipulated person who fears rejection. If we base a relationship on continual concern about another person's reaction then we are basing our decisions on manipulation rather than truth or reasonableness.
It is common for manipulators to desire for their target to remain sick so they can maintain control. This is what gaslighting is all about. Keeping a person in a continual state of fear of doing something wrong allows for greater control.
I have seen many times those who use guilt and demeaning to keep a person feeling as though they are bad or wrong. When someone can get another person to believe this, they will be more easily controlled, feeling "less than" allows the abuser to keep us where they want us, in short, giving them everything they want so they won't be unhappy with us, while allowing them feel superior.
There is nothing more desirable to an abuser than to be superior to others. This is the reason they continually "assume" things framing them in a way that makes us bad or wrong and them good and right.
When we are continually demeaned in this way, we are more easily controlled by those who have no interest in our welfare, only in their own self aggrandizement.
When we are controlled by our emotions, it will be impossible to do what is needed. The fear of rejection or an argument keeps us from moving forward with what is right.
We ought never to serve because of the pressure and reactions of others. We must give because God is leading us and we love to obey Him. People often will demand things of us that God never called us to do. They will act as though we are bad or mean if we don't do what they want. There is an easy answer that God gave me years ago, simply say to those who ask us to do things that we are not called to do, "oh I must tell you that God has not called me to do that."
The reaction of others is not relevant to the decision we make. If we find ourselves in continual conflict with others because they don't like our decision to obey God rather than man, then we can count those friends as acquaintances rather than friends, while spending more time with those who respect our personal decisions.
When we hear or give counsel to someone, it is vitally important that we allow each person to decide for themselves what their actions will be. Forcing others to think as we do is not the job of the believer. We can share our views, but honor the decisions of others, when there is no sin involved.
Mocking and manipulating others to get them to do what we want is hate not love. It causes harm to those we should love. When there is no sin, only disagreement, we must respect the right of others to decide for themselves their course of actions.
Those who use judging as a tactic to demean us, when the judgment is merely their own opinion, then we can be sure the relationship is going to be a rocky one, it is best to remove ourselves from these people.
2 Timothy 3:1-5
"3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
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