There are those in the psychology industry who believe that more than 60% of the narcissistic personality disordered individuals get their bents from genetics, leaving only 40% from home environment and other influences.
Those who display the characteristics of Narcissistic Personality disorder, lack empathy and remorse--and someone else is always to blame for whatever negative behavior they exhibit. These are natural human responses to life, self at the forefront of everything and the extraordinary ability to justify whatever we want.
I do believe that part of a child's response to life is based on environment and attitudes of the parents, but from my own experience I see too, that often children display their disorder at very early ages, too young to have been influenced by their environment. By too young I am referring to younger than one year old.
I have seen manipulative behavior in very young children before they had time to learn it from anyone. Every human being is born with the original sin of self involvement that began in the garden of Eden. Teaching a child either by example or by training, to pay more attention to himself than others, or to pay attention to others to elevate self, comes so naturally that it is as easily embraced as breathing or eating. When we feed this natural bent toward sin through excessive praise or lack of proper discipline, we grow the monster that is inside.
Sadly those parents who attempted to raise their children in the Lord were faced with outside influences that tainted their view of life to such a degree that they were less swayed by their parents and families than they were by the culture.
While parents were working to teach them manners, kindness, selflessness and empathy for others, the culture was busy feeding their natural selfish inclinations, with mantras like "you must learn to love yourself", reinforcing the animal in them that wanted to be without restraint.
It has been very hard on parents with narcissistic adult children because the narcissist blames the parent for many things that often never happened or were insignificant events, used as excuses to condemn the parent. You see, for the narcissist nothing is his own fault, he is responsible for nothing so the parent is the convenient scapegoat for all his woes.
The narcissist does not have the ability to take an objective look at himself to see what his part in the conflicts are, he must always divert attention away from himself to remain prominent in his own eyes.
It is interesting that the narcissistic adult child sees the parent as intolerably imperfect, not worthy of his honor and respect. This attitude would be amusing if it were not so tragic. In order for the narcissistic child to hold a parent in such contempt, he must believe he is perfect himself, otherwise he would be a hypocrite for expecting perfection out of a parent when he is not himself the picture of perfection.
Selfishness never makes much sense, we want others to be unselfish with us, show us empathy and kindness, but do not think we need to exhibit the same character qualities ourselves.
Hypocrisy is the monster that hides behind the door. Everyone has one, but only those who have Christ can overpower the monster with the love of Christ.
We see a rising tide of narcissism in our culture, more intensely than we have ever seen before. Selfish people made an effort to quench their baser character qualities in an age when it was not acceptable, it managed to keep the monster smaller and in check. Now that the monster has been fed daily meals of "do it your way", "love yourself before loving anyone else", "do good deeds to make yourself feel good", along with other equally disgusting mantras that diminish the human experience, we have created the most selfish culture this world has ever seen. So selfish that we treat parents with dishonor against the Word of God, while even going so far as to murder our babies for the sake of our own convenience.
Many years ago I used to wonder how it was possible that 2 Timothy 3 could ever happen, when I saw so much good going on in the world. I see now how it happened, many believers were deceived by these psychological demonic concepts, the same ploy that was used in the garden, the devil used, convincing Eve that "you can be like God." Or in modern terms; "you can be your own God, create your own idea of right and wrong."
Judges 17:6 "In those days there was no king in Israel; every man did what was right in his own eyes."
We have an anarchiel culture now, everyone chooses what is their own version of right and wrong and there is no One Supreme being who governs their foundation.
SADLY, this is also the condition of the organized apostate church. It is vitally important that we seek God through His Word and prayer to teach us His ways. No one can continue in this world untainted if they neglect first salvation through Jesus Christ and then obedience to His Word.
Monday, March 16, 2015
Are Your Roses Wilting and Beggarly?
God's way of growing us spiritually is very much the way we grow roses the best. Roses do not do very well if we leave them to grow wild without any pruning. There must be pruning, the cutting away of dead branches and even flowers to allow others flowers to grow bigger.
What happens when we do not allow God to prune us, fighting against the lessons He has for us is mentioned in Isaiah.
Isaiah 5:6:
"I will lay it waste; It will not be pruned or hoed, But briars and thorns will come up I will also charge the clouds to rain no rain on it."
John 15:2 ""Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit."
If you are resisting the lessons God has for you out of pride, then you will not bear more fruit, in fact the fruit you have will be small and beggarly because of the pride that impedes the growth.
Not all good things need to stay in our lives, sometimes even the good things that hinder the growth of the better things must be removed.
Roses must be fed to grow large and beautiful, the proper food must be given along with the proper amount of water. Our spiritual life is like that too, we must be pruned, fed and watered to be able to grow spiritually. Our food is the Word of God and our water is the Holy Spirit.
When we do not take care to learn from the difficulties of life, continually warding off everything we don't like for the purpose of personal comfort, we will find our rose garden becoming spindly and the flowers small and sickly. The bitterness and anger will envelop us, destroying whatever spirituality remains.
In order to grow in holiness, we must be faced with life challenges, our spiritual muscles cannot become strong when we run away from or deny every challenge through resistance to learning. We must allow God to cut out of our lives those that impede the growth while allowing in our lives those who would challenge and feed us.
When we fail the tests of life, becoming more bitter, angry and fruitless, we regress into an attitude that leads to self righteousness. God will stop His spiritual blessing of holiness and growth until we confess our pride and submit once again to Him.
James 1:2-8 "2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,
3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.
4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.
7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord;
8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways."
Our best friends are not those who divert our attention from Christ, using the manipulation of flattery to keep us close to them, but rather those who tell us the truth, no matter how hard something is to hear, it is spoken to challenge us to greater holiness. Those that avoid these challenges, becoming angry at others for them, will remain spiritual babies, if they are born again at all.
The devil uses evil to try to harm us, attempting to ruin our witness by keeping us in a one down position, however, God uses his ploys to hone us, making us stronger if our focus is Christ.
Genesis 50:20 ""As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive."
When we see someone becoming more angry and bitter over the years when challenges face them, we can be sure that is someone whose focus has not been Christ but rather their own version of self righteousness. These people have been focusing on how good they think they can be in their own power rather than seeking Christ to change them. Their pride is too great to admit they need change, they often can never admit to others their failings, they think they don't have any. How could they hear an unseen God when they will not listen to God's messengers.
Seek the Lord to become the person He can make of you, instead of trying to be good in your own strength. Ask Him to prune from your life dead branches (works) and superficial spirituality and replace it with the work that only Christ can do in us.
Ephesians 2:10 "10 For we are HIS WORKMANSHIP, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them."
What happens when we do not allow God to prune us, fighting against the lessons He has for us is mentioned in Isaiah.
Isaiah 5:6:
"I will lay it waste; It will not be pruned or hoed, But briars and thorns will come up I will also charge the clouds to rain no rain on it."
John 15:2 ""Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit."
If you are resisting the lessons God has for you out of pride, then you will not bear more fruit, in fact the fruit you have will be small and beggarly because of the pride that impedes the growth.
Not all good things need to stay in our lives, sometimes even the good things that hinder the growth of the better things must be removed.
Roses must be fed to grow large and beautiful, the proper food must be given along with the proper amount of water. Our spiritual life is like that too, we must be pruned, fed and watered to be able to grow spiritually. Our food is the Word of God and our water is the Holy Spirit.
When we do not take care to learn from the difficulties of life, continually warding off everything we don't like for the purpose of personal comfort, we will find our rose garden becoming spindly and the flowers small and sickly. The bitterness and anger will envelop us, destroying whatever spirituality remains.
In order to grow in holiness, we must be faced with life challenges, our spiritual muscles cannot become strong when we run away from or deny every challenge through resistance to learning. We must allow God to cut out of our lives those that impede the growth while allowing in our lives those who would challenge and feed us.
When we fail the tests of life, becoming more bitter, angry and fruitless, we regress into an attitude that leads to self righteousness. God will stop His spiritual blessing of holiness and growth until we confess our pride and submit once again to Him.
James 1:2-8 "2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,
3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.
4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.
7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord;
8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways."
Our best friends are not those who divert our attention from Christ, using the manipulation of flattery to keep us close to them, but rather those who tell us the truth, no matter how hard something is to hear, it is spoken to challenge us to greater holiness. Those that avoid these challenges, becoming angry at others for them, will remain spiritual babies, if they are born again at all.
The devil uses evil to try to harm us, attempting to ruin our witness by keeping us in a one down position, however, God uses his ploys to hone us, making us stronger if our focus is Christ.
Genesis 50:20 ""As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive."
When we see someone becoming more angry and bitter over the years when challenges face them, we can be sure that is someone whose focus has not been Christ but rather their own version of self righteousness. These people have been focusing on how good they think they can be in their own power rather than seeking Christ to change them. Their pride is too great to admit they need change, they often can never admit to others their failings, they think they don't have any. How could they hear an unseen God when they will not listen to God's messengers.
Seek the Lord to become the person He can make of you, instead of trying to be good in your own strength. Ask Him to prune from your life dead branches (works) and superficial spirituality and replace it with the work that only Christ can do in us.
Ephesians 2:10 "10 For we are HIS WORKMANSHIP, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them."
Seek Christ Alone
The Christianity of the Bible is far different from the Christianity of today. Our modern version of a Christian is merely superficially based on outer appearances. Many people who read the Bible follow very little of it, even though they believe they obey much if not all of it.
For those who desire truth rather than the watered down religious version of modern Christianity, it will take much prayer and willingness to let go of everything you were taught to follow Christ.
Forget what others have told you, forget the faddish books filled with ideas that parade themselves as "new revelation" or "elite secret knowledge", and seek the pure word on your own, alone with the Holy Spirit.
For those who desire truth rather than the watered down religious version of modern Christianity, it will take much prayer and willingness to let go of everything you were taught to follow Christ.
Forget what others have told you, forget the faddish books filled with ideas that parade themselves as "new revelation" or "elite secret knowledge", and seek the pure word on your own, alone with the Holy Spirit.
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