There are many seminars and work shops pertaining to spirituality and even the Bible.
When someone is desiring to appear spiritual but lacks the fruit of the spirit, they often attend these seminars to get their "spiritual fix". But the reality for many they are satisfied with just knowing what they learned at the seminar, its not very important if any of the learning works itself out in their lives.
So often in our culture the learning replaces the actual change in character. Its sort of like the person who owns a Bible in their house but never reads it. These people derive a sort of "feeling" of safety from owning a Bible but have no interest in actually reading it.
In the same way there are those who are satisfied with just reading the Bible but are not interested in praying to become the person who seeks God's will for their life to actually obey it.
This is the reason we see so many Christians who love to talk about creationism and Jewish customs but are embarrassed and even angry when the principles of Christian character and conduct are mentioned.
1 Corinthians 8:1-2 "1 Now about food sacrificed to idols: We know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. 2 The one who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know.…"
Knowledge about the Bible, even reading it every day does not make someone wise. It the desire to be changed by what we read as well as obeying the principles that brings wisdom. God will not impart wisdom to those who are self righteous while twisting the scriptures to say what they want them to say. This person will have knowledge but they will not be discerning or wise and most of all they will be self righteous lacking the love of Christ.
Often those with man made rules that they impose on others, reject anyone who will not follow their traditions and mandates that are not Biblical.
The self righteous ones punish others who follow the Holy Spirit rather than the man made rules.
Their noses loom high in the air as they walk around feeling superior for their adherence to traditions and rules that God never commanded.
Sadly these same self righteous people are able to convince others of their false judgments about those who do not obey their version of Christianity.
Mark 7:12-14 "…12 he is no longer permitted to do anything for his father or mother. 13 Thus you nullify the word of God by the tradition you have handed down. And you do so” in many such matters. 14 Once again Jesus called the crowd to Him and said, “All of you, listen to Me and understand:…"
When we meet people like this who are sold out to their traditions that are not Scriptural, we find a wall between us and them. The rules they make take priority over love and kindness. Submitting to them is their goal more than discovering God's righteousness. Notice they rarely, if ever ask us why we think as we do. There is no room for differences in relationships, everyone must act and think exactly the same to be considered worthy of respect and love, in the mind of the self righteous narcissists.
The holidays are very much like this. Even birthday parties and other human observances have been promoted as "the right thing to do", when they are merely a man's idea of what should be done as well as often having their roots in paganism.
Go ahead and celebrate the holidays and birthdays if you like, but don't punish others who have chosen to leave them alone.
All desire has been removed from my heart to celebrate that which God never commanded or endorsed. That's just me and I have a right to that.
One young woman once became angry at me for not liking birthday parties. I didn't care what she did with others but I just wouldn't want one for myself. She described how someone she knew threw a birthday party for an old lady, a surprise to her. They bought her a dress for the party, lied to her that they were taking her to dinner and then ended up at the place for the party.
The implication was that something was wrong with me for not wanting one of those parties for me, after all that old lady enjoyed it. The manipulation of this conversation was to make me feel diminished by not wanting such a thing for myself.
One of the tactics of the narcissist is to attempt to make us feel guilty about our own decisions because "everyone else likes it", therefore something is wrong with you for not liking it.
When a relationship degenerates into a mentality of disrespect and dishonor simply because we do not do the same things or like the same things, this is our clue that that person was never a friend. Friends do not act like that! Friends appreciate us for ourselves, whatever that is. They respect our right to make our own choices and be our own person.
Those who cannot appreciate our struggles, our choices and the path we have chosen for ourselves can never be our friends. Everything these self righteous ones do will be based on diminishing us to mold us into them.
We might feel continually uncomfortable around these self righteous ones to the degree that we lose our personalities around them. They judge everything in negative terms because we are different from them. Because of this continual negativity of judging us, we might speak against it, further solidifying in their mind the disapproval of us they justify. Its sort of like the bully who picks at you until you become angry and then accuses you of being angry all the time.
The best way to handle these people is to be so comfortable in your own skin that nothing they do affects you. The purpose of their covert mean spirited attacks is to cause discomfort in you to the point of becoming angry. If they can get you angry they can effect how others view you. IF they can get us to be angry they can effectively absolve themselves of any responsibility for their mean spirited attacks. Its a weird dynamic and yet the disordered thinker feels relieved when we become angry, they see us right where they want to see us, that is as an angry person. Fantasy and lying is a big part of the life of a narcissist. They make up stories in their heads not based on facts and believe them.
Those in the room who see your anger probably didn't notice the narcissists insidious pokes at you, they only saw you becoming angry.
The key to this whole mess is to know that God sees it all, their personal attacks say everything about them and nothing about you. When we know this it is far easier to ignore the attacks in the same way you would not respond to a movie you are watching. We don't become unsettled and angry at a story we are hearing, its just a story. This is how we need to see the covert narcissist, a story that is playing out in front of us that has nothing to do with us.
Jealousy drives those who act with angst against us. We can take comfort in the fact that God is shaping us into His image through it all and those who attack are heaping up God's wrath against themselves as they seek to harm God's children.
It is not possible to reason with a narcissist; here's why;
Proverbs 29:9-10 "9 If a wise man goes to court with a fool, there will be raving and laughing with no resolution. 10 Men of bloodshed hate a blameless man, but the upright care for his life."
I notice too that people like this often think everything you do is their business. They judge things about our lives that they have no knowledge of and act as though they have a right to judge it. They even have inserted themselves into our marriages, attempting to influence our spouses to pressure us to be like them.
When the narcissist cannot force us through intimidation and manipulation to be like them, they will work to get others to come against us too. Their purpose is to force us into submission to their ways through others who believe their lies.
So much of the trouble in relationships is based on others pressuring others to be just like them.
It is important to recognize the devil's tactics so that we do not become sucked into the game with the narcissist, and it is a game for them.
May the Lord strengthen you and all of us who encounter those who have no good in mind for us, those led by the whims of the devil to suck the life out of us. We can remain strong without false guilt even in the heat of the battle. That battle being a spiritual one perpetrated by the devil through weak minded people who have no defense against him.
Hallelujah!!!!!
