Boundaries with a Narcissist

We Must Count the Cost, it does not get Easier!

Seek the Holy Spirit the Translations Have Problems

Someone asked me if I thought it was alright for women to lead in the church gathering. Here was my answer:

Women are allowed to share their faith with one another and even men, but they are not allowed to lead men in a church gathering. There is a difference between leading and sharing. In 1 Corinthians 11 God tells us that women can pray and prophesy, meaning expound on the word in the gathering as long as her head is covered. She is clearly sharing her faith in the gathering but she is not leading it.

1 Corinthians 11 and 1 Timothy 2 answer the question of women in leadership in the Church.

The passage that says a woman is not to speak has been mistranslated. The meaning is that she should not disrupt the preaching to ask her husband question, but should wait until she gets home to ask him.

1 Corinthians 14:44 "33b As in all the churches of the saints, 34 the women should keep silent in the churches. "

If the women were not to speak at all in the church then 1 Corinthians 11 would contradict the verses in 1 Timothy 2. They are not contradictory because one is dealing with disruption and the other is dealing with a woman who is hearing from the Lord and sharing what she hears. They are two different things entirely.

Our English translations were often misunderstood by those who were not Jewish. Without Jewish background and a good understanding of Heberew and Greek a modern 16th century spin was placed on the interpretations.

For example, the word "Easter" is in the KJV of the Bible but it does not belong there. The word they have translated as "Easter" should have been translated "Passover." Because of the traditions of the time of the translating was an acceptance of the pagan holiday, the word Easter was used but it was incorrect.

There are many other things just like this in which the English translation sent a wrong message causing traditions that God never gave.

The Whittlin of the Church

The Narcissists Accusations

Narcissists practice what they accuse others of doing. The very people who shout "racism" the loudest are those who practice it more than those they accuse.

1 John 4:20

"If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen."

Matthew 7:5

"You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."

Romans 2:3

"Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God?"

5Trudi Gretsinger, Kim Schmerbauch-Weaver and 3 others

Intimidation or Victim: Tools of the Narcissist

A narcissist acts like we are foolish for laughing and enjoying the small things. It is very strange how much they hate our happiness. The darkness works to extinguish the light, they cannot be trusted to learn from the light.

I have never seen a narcissist laugh at someone else's humor. They will laugh at their own which is always to denigrate others, but they have no interest in the humor of others when it is innocent fun that does not disparage another human being.

When you are a target of narcissists they will attempt to remove any joy or happiness you have by their negative reactions to everything. Their favorite facial expression is the rolling of the eyes, this is a show of contempt.

We see this growing in our culture, even the television shows are promoting this attitude of "one-upmanship" as a good thing. This mentality of "one-upmanship" is nothing more than jealousy and pride.

Isaiah 5:20-21 " 20 Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who turn darkness to light and light to darkness, who replace bitter with sweet and sweet with bitter. 21 Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight.…"

Those who love to show contempt will make "disapproving grunting" sounds to make us look foolish for sharing a concern, for being ill, for attempting to resolve a problem. They hate resolutions because it might cause them to self-reflect discovering they have a flaw.

We cannot change anyone else. When we see that any attempts to talk things through are met with rage, that is the time to give up and give it to God. God can reach someone better than we can.

All the reasonable rational words in the world cannot penetrate a rebellious heart who cannot admit they have any flaws. They never apologize because their pride is monstrously mountainous, impossible to penetrate the hardened shell in which they have encased themselves.

When you meet someone who cannot admit their flaws you know it is impossible to have a meaningful relationship with them.

Those who are born again have no problem telling on themselves. They easily admit when they have made a mistake or committed sin.

The narcisisst is constantly judging others over silly things while refusing to confess anything about themselves.

There is no spiritual growth or cleansing when there is no confession of sin. God told us to confess to be cleansed. There are many filthy pretenders walking around prideful about who they think they are but without remorse for their sinful behavior.

1 John 1:9

"9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, so that He will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

So many people expect to be forgiven and grow without ever following God's way for this to happen, that is through confession. God will not change or grow anyone who refuses to confess their sin.

There is no one who can say they have never sinned or even that every sin is far in the past. There are things we do that should be confessed even if no one else sees them. Heart attitudes come before actions, without confession of those heart attitudes there will be an action eventually.

There are those who are able to hide their sinful heart from the world for a long time, sometimes even to death, but they do not understand that they can never hide it from God. When someone is content to hide from people but continue the sinful attitude, then perhaps they don't really believe in God, if they did they would be ashamed even if no one else knows but Him.

Those who will not confess are full of anger, this is why we see rage or tears emerge when they are confronted. The confrontation is overwhelming to those who realize they have been discovered. The rage is a superior attitude and the tears are a victim mentality. They refuse to admit how they harmed someone so they pretend it was evil to call them out for their sin. The raging is to intimidate us into feeling bad for revealing what they know is true. If it were not true they would not rage or cry, they would be perplexed and wish to discuss it for resolution.

Romans 12:2

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

We see many people who claim to be Christian hanging on to the ways of the world because in their hearts they have not authentically repented. There has not been a changed heart because God only changes those who want to be changed by Him.

2 Corinthians 5:17

"17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, this person is a new creation; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come."

Merely "saying" you are a Christian or that you are different does not make it so. The change in us is done by Christ but only in response to our broken desire to be whatever He wants to make of us.

Those who come to Him thinking they will make their ownselves good will not be changed, they are not trusting in HIm, they are trusting in themselves.

Proverbs 14:12

"There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death."

Proverbs 12:15

"The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice."

1 Samual 16:7 ......"For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

One must stop desiring to be liked by people and care deeply about what God thinks to be changed by Him. No growth will take place in us when our focus is on the opinions of men.

Galatians 1:10

"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."

The day you are no longer concerned about the opinions of men and place all trust in Christ will be the freest day of your life. You will not regret it. Do not rush to see what others think, go to God only!

We are living in days where very few people are left that we can trust to counsel us in the ways of the Bible and the principles of Christ.

Keep Looking UP!!!!!