Adversity the Friend of the Born Again Believer

Our adversity shows us what we are made of, God already knows but He wants us to discover our need ourselves so we develop the desire to be changed by Him. He wants us completely dependent on Him.

Without the difficulties that expose our inner weaknesses, we cannot grow in holiness.

Those who must maintain a pretense of being someone without flaws will remain emotional and spiritual infants until they learn to confess their flaws and pray for a transformation.

God will continue to bring difficulties to the believer until they admit their flaws, perhaps lack of faith, perhaps bitterness or selfishness, whatever is inside dominating our heart will be revealed in difficulties.

Hebrews 12:8. "8 But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons."

Hebrews 12:5-7 "…5 And you have forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons: “My son, do not take lightly the discipline of the Lord, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you. 6 For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastises every son He receives.” 7 Endure suffering as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?…"

Anyone who boasts that they don't ever have trials because they think they are being so good should be worried after reading these verses.

When we know we cannot gain heaven by our own goodness, then we also know we cannot be good enough to earn blessings either.

God is not like human beings passing out blessings based on performance. God blesses us as He pleases whether or not we have measured up enough. His love transcends performance reaching into the soul to create in us a heart that seeks after Him in everything.

Proverbs 3:11-12

"My son, do not reject the discipline of the LORD, and do not loathe His rebuke; for the LORD disciplines the one He loves, as does a father the son in whom he delights.:"

God delights in us His children, notice that He disciplines those in whom He delights.

Job 5:17

"Blessed indeed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.v"

Those who choose to believe there is no reason to discipline them are not blessed and have no closeness to God, they only have their own false perceptions of themselves that they must continually prop up to feel special.

Prosperity preachers want people to focus on what they can get out of God and the wrong way to get it. They also foster resentment and judgment toward those who think they are being blessed by their own performance.

Psalm 119:67

"Before I was afflicted, I went astray; but now I keep Your word."

What an amazing blessing to be one of God's children.

1 Corinthians 11:32

"But when we are judged by the Lord, we are being disciplined so that we will not be condemned with the world."

Where Will You Go When You Die?

What Does a Real Apology Look Like?

A response to a dear Sister concerning the matter of forgiveness and reconciliation. 

Annie, the way I think says that if someone has a one-day experience with rudeness because they are going through something, I would not require an apology from them when they do not do this on a regular basis. Those I would require an apology from are those who have been mean and rude for years and continue to act rudely without a conscience. Or, if I confront them with their actions and they fight back, excusing themselves or accusing me of what they are doing that I am not, then I would require an apology to resume the relationship.

Those who walk a lifestyle of rudeness merely because they don't like someone is an unkind person and cannot be our friends.

Those who live a lifestyle of arrogant superiority and like it can never have a relationship with anyone really.

God made it clear that the confession of sin and forgiveness extended is for the purpose of reconciling a relationship. When someone is continually rude and not sorry for it, we are to remove ourselves from them until they confess openly what they did and that they are sorry.

There is such a thing as "non-apology apologies" that I would not accept from anyone when they say things like; "I am sorry you were upset." or "I didn't mean to do that" or "I didn't do that." A real apology sounds something like this: "I did these things (specifically), and I am sorry I hurt you."

It is important that they are specific because those who are not specific are hedging to look like the victim. "I'm sorry I was mean", should sound more like this; "I'm sorry I took your coat without asking" or "I am so sorry I lied to you about 'thus and such.'"

Specific details of the offense tell us they really are sorry. Generic "sorry you were hurt" is putting it on you for being hurt. Owning what we did specifically and being sorry for what "I" did to you is more authentic.

Legalism and Intimidation Go Hand in Hand

Beware of making legalistic rules that God never made, to force others to fall in line with your own idea about righteousness. An arrogant person thinks they have been ordained to force others to do things their way.

If the Bible doesn't teach specifically or have a strong principle associated with the demand, then we are free to ignore the dictate.

 
We might also want to remove from our lives those who are full of legalism based on their own pride, it is impossible to reason with someone like this. They are nothing but continual conflict over things that don't matter. And, sadly, they tend to be gossips attempting to convince others to avoid us over things that are not true.
Legalism kills the soul and torments the Spirit! Obedience to God's Word is what God wants and He expressly commanded that we not add to God's Word or take away from it. He knows it is the nature of man to think we can help God out by going beyond what He said, making burdens on others that He never made.

 
1 John 5:2-4 "…2 By this we know that we love the children of God: when we love God and keep His commandments. 3 For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome, 4 because everyone born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world: our faith.…"

Those who wish to appear superior to others are always looking for something to criticize in others that are not sins but merely preferences. They spend very little, if any time, on self-reflecting to be sure they are obeying God and growing in holiness.

 
Legalism is more about controlling others than it is about edifying others from the Word to come closer to God.

 
Forcing others through intimidation, gossip, dismissiveness, and gossip is not God's way, it is man's way to control others.

 
Love is not the motivation of the legalist, the motivation is appearance to others and working their own way to heaven.

 
When a born-again believer evaluates something it is from the Word of God with righteous evidence from Scripture.

 
It has been my experience that legalists tend to treat others disrespectfully for things that don't matter but never have a conversation with the one they devalue, over why they are disrespecting them.

 
When we see this happening without repentance for this, it is time to end the friendship. These people often "dish it out but cannot take it" when it is our turn to voice our concerns about them. Since they must always be seen as the perfect one without flaws they will never self-reflect nor will they accept criticism from anyone else.

 
Friends do not seek to find flaws in others, if they see something they want to have a loving dialogue to resolve things. The arrogant person does not want resolution, they want power over and intimidation to cause fear in the one they wish to control.
Here is God's love in the born-again believer!

1 Corinthians 13:4-8
"4 Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant. 5 It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered, 6 it does not rejoice in unrighteousness but rejoices with the truth; 7 it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

Those who love one another do not "nit-pick" about things that don't matter and they are not looking to trap someone else hoping to discredit them to others.
I had a young woman once approach me angry. She said to me; "we are going to fight about this", I said; "no I will not fight about this, if you want to have a rational discussion coming in love to resolve something, then I will be happy to engage with you."

It has also been my experience that the one coming in anger is judging us over things we are doing in our own life but never anything we did personally to them.
Sadly, this young woman never came back to do that, because it wasn't resolution she wanted, it was a good fight to win over me. I never figured out what she was angry about because she was not willing to come calmly with love in her heart to discuss it.

 
When someone only wants to fight, without a desire to resolve the matter, then there is no reasoning with this person. From my experience the person who wants to fight will never consider your side, they will poke holes everywhere they can without a desire to understand, they only want to win.

 
There have been people in my life who treated me disrespectfully every time we were together but I never knew why they were doing it. I had to assume it was gossip but they were too timid to ask me if what they heard was true, or worse, they liked what they heard and wanted to despise me.

 
Jealousy often plays a factor in these relationships with those who wish to hate us. They are manipulated by the devil the same way Eve was manipulated in the garden to distrust and dishonor God when she defied Him by eating from the fruit He expressly said not to eat from.

 
The devil is very clever, he managed to get Eve to forget about all the other blessings God gave her in that garden while focusing on the one thing she shouldn't have. This happens in relationships too, the one who seeks to dominate and control conveniently forget all the good things they had with you to camp on this one thing you will not do their way.

 
I write these things because I am confident that many others reading this have had the same experience in one way or another. It is your nature to bless others but there are people you have blessed who hated the blessing because they hated you. They would concoct something in their mind with the devil's help, that made you look like pure evil. The devil did this with Eve, He made the Perfect God look like He had done something wrong justifying her disrespect for God.

This happened with Christ and it happened with all the prophets and the apostles. When someone dislikes you because you bring truth and they are jealous of you, they will prepare a false persona of you that they will pass on to those they wish to control with their gossip.

 
This is continual with those who love Jesus Christ and it is increasing as we progress toward the tribulation. The devil knows his time is short and must attempt to ruin the hearts of as many people as he can before he is thrown into the Lake of Fire forever.

 
Proverbs 3:5-6 "5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.…"

We will be going home soon!