If we are working in the flesh to heap hot coals of kindness to evoke a feeling in shame toward someone, we are sinning.
When we authentically love a person who has been offensive and we operate in love toward them when we encounter them, we are doing it in the power of the Holy Spirit to please Christ, our purpose is not to shame or cause bad feelings. Our purpose is to please God and He will use the Holy Spirit to convict.
The reason why we do things is very important. If we have revenge in mind to manipulate the feelings of others with the appearance of kindness, then this is sin.
God wants us to love and treat respectfully everyone, even in our corrective language. When someone approaches others to beat them down to submit to them, this person is fleshly and vindictive. Even if they are right about their stance, they walk fleshly and not in the Spirit of God.
When we love others we are more concerned about helping our friend to understand, not manipulating them into feeling inferior to us. If any of "self" is involved in our conversation with someone in error then we are in sin.
Our responses to others we may disagree with or who have offended us ought to be in humility and love. AND, this can only be accomplished if we are walking in the Spirit.
Galatians 5:15-16 "15 But if you keep on biting and devouring one another, watch out, or you will be consumed by one another. 16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh."
When there is angst and biting words there is no love. No matter how much we think we are right there is no reason to snark at one another as though the other person is inferior or stupid.
Also, remember it is not only words and tone of voice that conveys arrogance, it is also facial expressions, particularly rolling of eyes which is an expression of contempt.
When we roll our eyes at someone we are saying they are stupid and unworthy to have their own opinions.
If a person is continually treating another human being in these distasteful and mean-spirited expressions then it is best to remove ourselves from them. We remove ourselves because continual contact with them will eventually cause us to become like them.
1 Corinthians 15:33-34 " 33Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good character.” 34Sober up as you ought, and stop sinning; for some of you are ignorant of God. I say this to your shame.…"
When we are wronged by someone, they snark at us our flesh tends to think we are justified in snarking back at them. If they snark and we snark back we have become like them and have also sinned.
Our response needs to be continually under the power of the Holy Spirit so that we are blameless, without evidence of wrongdoing.
A narcissist snarks to cause snarky reactions in us causing the narcissist to feel justified in their attacks against us. Our focus is not to change anyone else, it is to present the truth and leave the response to Christ.
When we know we cannot change another person we will not react badly when attacked. We will always leave the response of the hearer to God and rest in that.
Proverbs 26:4-5 " 4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be like him. 5 Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he become wise in his own eyes.…"
When we fight back with fools they sense that they have won in engaging you in folly. There is only one answer for the fool that is no answer at all. Attempting to reason with a fool is itself foolish.
When we know the Word of God and walk with the Holy Spirit we will not feel the need to have the last word nor will we be frustrated if someone didn't listen. We merely move on and leave that person to the Lord. After all, we are His workmanship and so is the other person.
We have must to learn in these last days of chaos and rebellion. The most important lesson for us now is to learn how to respond or not respond to those who will attempt to cause us to fall into sin.
When we know the devil is behind all the evil, all the snark and all the manipulation we need not feel any frustration at all, we can observe, see the truth as though watching a play and feel nothing.
The most important thing to remember and is a challenge is to remain faithful to God resisting the temptation to have the final say with a narcissist. They will not listen and will misinterpret what we say to fit their angst against us. Resist this when we have to encounter it and avoid them if possible.
Hallelujah, we can walk in peace and joy always when we allow the Holy Spirit to take over in us.
