Narcissists cannot be healthy people because they are so predisposed to phoniness and lies that they cannot improve.
The only way for us to change is to be able to admit our flaws and desire to change.
Those who have no desire to change, and even believe they are special are not likely to take kindly to criticism or introspection.
The most important ingredient in friend relationships is honesty. When there is deception and self exaltation there cannot be honesty. An honest person is that way on the inside and the outside. There is no place for dishonesty on any level in one who self-reflects to improve.
Since narcissists live continually in a false self in front of others they wish to impress, there can be no honesty on the inside. After all, we can only be false on the outside unless we are already false on the inside.
Narcissists do not live authentically. If we were to challenge a narcissist to be more honest they would claim they already are when they rudely tell the truth about others, even though they never tell the truth about themselves. And, their truth about others is always heavily peppered with jealousy and demeaning, almost always skewed to make themselves look like the victim.
A quote from Dr. Carter
"Narcissism is identified by selfishness, the need for control, a feeling of superiority, a lack of empathy, and manipulative behaviors. So, as you attempt to understand it fully, you may wonder if it means that person is given over to evil intentions. "
Since selfishness is condemned in the Bible, controlling others is frowned upon, superiority is pride which God also condemns, and lack of empathy is a close cousin to selfishness, then we see that all the elements of narcissism are evil and directly defy Christ.
Narcissists have floating beneath the surface a sort of simmering anger waiting to emerge at the slightest perceived offense. Since they are looking for an offense to be able to unleash their pent-up anger they will choose perfectly innocent comments or actions and pretend there is something wrong with them.
I'll never forget many years ago I was driving down the road in my car and smoke began to pour out of the hood. Very concerned I pulled over into the left turning lane to get out of traffic, and got out of my car to stand behind it while I called for someone to come and help me. I wasn't in anyone's way, I was a woman alone with smoke coming out of her car.
Within a couple of minutes, several cars passed me on the right in their lane. In two instances people yelled out their windows as they passed and swore obscenities at me as though I was doing something wrong, I wasn't in anyone's way, I wasn't stopping traffic and I had not solicited help from them. I simply stood in the back of my car while waiting for help to come.
A couple was standing across the street who witnessed this and came running across the street to help me push the car across the traffic when the light turned red. We managed to push the car off the road to safety. Then the couple turned to me and said; "we couldn't believe what those people were doing to you." Then I said; "you aren't from around here are you?" They were not from here, they were passing through to somewhere else. I thanked them profusely for their kindness and was thankful for the encouragement that they noticed how the people were treating me.
Imagine a woman in distress while smoke is pouring out of her car hood and the men driving by were pretending I had done something wrong, shouting at me and showing me their IQ on one hand. This was when we had first moved to our town 20 years ago, I asked myself, where have we come to live, is this just a mile past hell.
When we lived in South Carolina I had a flat tire twice. Each time I was not standing on the road for more than five minutes getting ready to get out the jack to attempt to change my tire when several men would come rushing over to change it for me. I was astounded by this kindness and grateful that there was still a place left on earth where men protected the women and the women let them.
I have met friendly people in our region but they are few and they are old. Our children's generation has lost the unselfish kindness that used to be the fabric of our country. And, sadly they have passed their angst and vulgarity and bad manners on to our grandchildren's generation. All that is left is synical barbarism, and oversensitive boorishness.
Pride is the biggest element that dominates our culture today, the very same pride that caused the devil and his minions to get themselves thrown out of heaven.
Since narcissism is the very trait of the devil we know that he is behind all of it. He whispers in the ears of weak and beggarly people things that cause trouble and makes them think others are at fault for their own sin.
1 Peter 5:8 "Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."
We are watching evil grow in our world today, the very reason it is so important to know our enemy and to know how Christ wants us to respond to it.
Proverbs 22:24 "24 Do not make friends with an angry man, and do not associate with a hot-tempered man, 25or you may learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.…"
If we must be in company with an angry evil man then here is God's instruction for that:
Luke 6:27-28 "27 But to those of you who will listen, I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you."
And, when we see the world becoming worse as 2 Timothy 3 says it will then we are instructed in verse 5 to avoid such people.
If we have spoken the gospel and told the truth of God's principles and the evil man will not repent then we are to shake the dust from our feet and move on while avoiding them.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."
Notice many of these people will pretend to be godly, but they are hellish and unrepentant, resisting the truth and growing worse in their arrogance.
We have hope, our world is about to pass away and we are going home to the Marriage Supper of the Lamb, its all in God's hands. Hallelujah!
