The Biblical model of worship is "no paid one man pastors", an eldership of several men and in homes. Buildings are not forbidden they just should not have mortgages or "programs" that serve to only entertain. The worship is around the Lord's supper and the teaching is another time, either after the worship or another day. It's all in 1 Corinthians. The way the world has been "doing church" for many generations now is not Biblical and has led to many errors.
Saturday, June 10, 2017
Pressure by Guilt Not Allowed
Do not allow others to guilt you into something God never told you to do, even if it's a good thing. Anything we do for the Lord, it ought to come from promptings of the Holy Spirit, not what others think we should do.
Narcissistic Behavior is Wicked
Narcissistic behavior is lacking in love, in fact hate is at the core of the narcissistic heart.
When one person is favored over another in a family setting, the one who is favored feels empowered to demean and mock the scapegoat who is not favored. The golden child as the favored one is called, can do no wrong while the scapegoat can do no right.
This favoritism causes those who elevate the favored to mock and demean the scapegoat, the one who can do no right in the eyes of the narcissist and those who follow the narcissist, known as the flying monkeys who do the bidding of the narcissist.
Favoritism on any level is sin! When we love everyone, we do not base our love on whether someone measures up to our particular idea of "good enough".
We evaluate others on the standard of God and when anyone in the family violates God's standard then we address it, no one will remain special and no one will be better than others. Everyone needs chastisement from time to time and no one gets away with sinful mean behavior.
The golden person, who can do no wrong is the one who gets away with all kinds of mean and demeaning actions while the scapegoat is treated with disdain when they are not doing anything wrong.
One example of this is when a child, the scapegoat, was sitting quietly reading a book and the golden child comes over to poke her in the shoulder. Each time the poke came the scapegoat protested and asked the golden child to stop. This only caused the golden child to continue until the scapegoat finally could take no more and shouted for him to stop. His goal was to make the scapegoat upset.
The response of the golden child was to accuse the scapegoat child of being out of control and acting too sensitive. Then the narcissistic parent steps in to chastise the scapegoat child to stop acting like a baby, while the golden child was left undisciplined at all, even feeling empowered with a smirk of delight and victory on his face.
When the narcissist cannot get us to react to their foolishness, when we finally discover in our adult years what they are, they will then "triangulate", that is to gossip to others to turn them against those they cannot control.
I have witnessed entire families who had several narcissists in them while the others in the family were treated with contempt through various means.
One of the tactics is to make sure the target knows an event is happening but that they are not invited. I have actually witnessed a scapegoat adult child being invited to functions just for the purpose of ignoring them. The narcissist needs for their target to know they are ignoring them, while loving up to the one who caused the scapegoat child so much pain.
Gossip is a huge tool of the narcissist, if they can get others to put pressure on the scapegoat through subtle ignoring or lack of communication, they will use anyone who will listen. This is why secrecy is so important to the narc, if the scapegoat is not allowed to know what is going on behind their backs, they can be left in a state of confusion as to why others are avoiding them.
God calls us to be transparent with one another, transparency clears things up, helps others understand and restores relationships. Narcissists hate open and honest communication based on integrity, because it exposes them for what they are, that is, liars, deceivers, controllers lacking conscience.
There is no love in the heart of the narcissist, this is why I believe it is demonic, demons control the minds of those who love their own devices and enjoy devaluing others for nothing more than their own pleasure.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
"4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away."
When one person is favored over another in a family setting, the one who is favored feels empowered to demean and mock the scapegoat who is not favored. The golden child as the favored one is called, can do no wrong while the scapegoat can do no right.
This favoritism causes those who elevate the favored to mock and demean the scapegoat, the one who can do no right in the eyes of the narcissist and those who follow the narcissist, known as the flying monkeys who do the bidding of the narcissist.
Favoritism on any level is sin! When we love everyone, we do not base our love on whether someone measures up to our particular idea of "good enough".
We evaluate others on the standard of God and when anyone in the family violates God's standard then we address it, no one will remain special and no one will be better than others. Everyone needs chastisement from time to time and no one gets away with sinful mean behavior.
The golden person, who can do no wrong is the one who gets away with all kinds of mean and demeaning actions while the scapegoat is treated with disdain when they are not doing anything wrong.
One example of this is when a child, the scapegoat, was sitting quietly reading a book and the golden child comes over to poke her in the shoulder. Each time the poke came the scapegoat protested and asked the golden child to stop. This only caused the golden child to continue until the scapegoat finally could take no more and shouted for him to stop. His goal was to make the scapegoat upset.
The response of the golden child was to accuse the scapegoat child of being out of control and acting too sensitive. Then the narcissistic parent steps in to chastise the scapegoat child to stop acting like a baby, while the golden child was left undisciplined at all, even feeling empowered with a smirk of delight and victory on his face.
When the narcissist cannot get us to react to their foolishness, when we finally discover in our adult years what they are, they will then "triangulate", that is to gossip to others to turn them against those they cannot control.
I have witnessed entire families who had several narcissists in them while the others in the family were treated with contempt through various means.
One of the tactics is to make sure the target knows an event is happening but that they are not invited. I have actually witnessed a scapegoat adult child being invited to functions just for the purpose of ignoring them. The narcissist needs for their target to know they are ignoring them, while loving up to the one who caused the scapegoat child so much pain.
Gossip is a huge tool of the narcissist, if they can get others to put pressure on the scapegoat through subtle ignoring or lack of communication, they will use anyone who will listen. This is why secrecy is so important to the narc, if the scapegoat is not allowed to know what is going on behind their backs, they can be left in a state of confusion as to why others are avoiding them.
God calls us to be transparent with one another, transparency clears things up, helps others understand and restores relationships. Narcissists hate open and honest communication based on integrity, because it exposes them for what they are, that is, liars, deceivers, controllers lacking conscience.
There is no love in the heart of the narcissist, this is why I believe it is demonic, demons control the minds of those who love their own devices and enjoy devaluing others for nothing more than their own pleasure.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
"4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away."
Going Home Soon!
As believers in Christ we have a deep sense of yearning for our final home. The place where our Groom resides, where He has provided a place for us, with complete peace and love.
Yes there is a place like this, it is not here on earth, it is heaven where our Groom awaits the command from the Father to come and get us.
We are waiting for the marriage supper of the Lamb, the resolution of the problem of earth in the final show down between our Lord, when we will come back with Him, to witness His destruction of evil.
It won't be long now, we just must be patient a little longer.
Titus 2:13 "2:13 as we wait for the happy fulfillment of our hope in the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ."
1 Thessalonians 4:16-18 "…16 For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a loud command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will be the first to rise. 17 After that, we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will always be with the Lord. 18 Therefore encourage one another with these words.…"
Yes there is a place like this, it is not here on earth, it is heaven where our Groom awaits the command from the Father to come and get us.
We are waiting for the marriage supper of the Lamb, the resolution of the problem of earth in the final show down between our Lord, when we will come back with Him, to witness His destruction of evil.
It won't be long now, we just must be patient a little longer.
Titus 2:13 "2:13 as we wait for the happy fulfillment of our hope in the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ."
1 Thessalonians 4:16-18 "…16 For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a loud command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will be the first to rise. 17 After that, we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will always be with the Lord. 18 Therefore encourage one another with these words.…"
Do Not Bail Them Out
I have been faced with NOT bailing people out who made their own mess and are not planning on changing the behavior that made the mess in the first place.
It's one thing to help someone who is ready to make a life change that will put them on the good path and who has been working toward that life change, demonstrating they are serious about changing their sinful and destructive behavior.
Proverbs 18:2
"A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."
When a fool shows contempt for good and righteous counsel, they do not deserve our energy, there must be more life consequences for them and God must be the One to take them through those experiences.
Proverbs 1:7
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction."
Most people do not make a change in their life and attitudes until they come to the end of themselves. When things become so hard they are out of their control, then perhaps they will see their need for Christ.
Granted, many people do come to the end of themselves, but rather than turning to Christ for cleansing, they blame others for their own evil choices.
Proverbs 18:7
"A fool's mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul."
Proverbs 14:7-9
"7 Leave the presence of a fool,
Or you will not discern words of knowledge.
8 The wisdom of the sensible is to understand his way,
But the foolishness of fools is deceit.
9 Fools mock at sin,
But among the upright there is good will."
The fool resists instruction and correction, they love their foolishness, they hate to be told they must make a change. We must leave these people alone, turn them over to God and never allow them to disrupt our lives, they can keep us in a constant state of frustration because of their stubborn rebellion.
Christ never stayed in the lives of those who rejected Him, He moved on to others!
Matthew 10:14
"14 Whoever does not receive you, nor heed your words, as you go out of that house or that city, shake the dust off your feet."
It's one thing to help someone who is ready to make a life change that will put them on the good path and who has been working toward that life change, demonstrating they are serious about changing their sinful and destructive behavior.
Proverbs 18:2
"A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."
When a fool shows contempt for good and righteous counsel, they do not deserve our energy, there must be more life consequences for them and God must be the One to take them through those experiences.
Proverbs 1:7
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction."
Most people do not make a change in their life and attitudes until they come to the end of themselves. When things become so hard they are out of their control, then perhaps they will see their need for Christ.
Granted, many people do come to the end of themselves, but rather than turning to Christ for cleansing, they blame others for their own evil choices.
Proverbs 18:7
"A fool's mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul."
Proverbs 14:7-9
"7 Leave the presence of a fool,
Or you will not discern words of knowledge.
8 The wisdom of the sensible is to understand his way,
But the foolishness of fools is deceit.
9 Fools mock at sin,
But among the upright there is good will."
The fool resists instruction and correction, they love their foolishness, they hate to be told they must make a change. We must leave these people alone, turn them over to God and never allow them to disrupt our lives, they can keep us in a constant state of frustration because of their stubborn rebellion.
Christ never stayed in the lives of those who rejected Him, He moved on to others!
Matthew 10:14
"14 Whoever does not receive you, nor heed your words, as you go out of that house or that city, shake the dust off your feet."
When a Narcissist Accuses Others
When a narcissist accuses us of being disrespectful, they are telling on themselves.
The narc often accuses others of things the narc is doing but the others are not.
Proverbs 26:1-12
"26 Like snow in summer and like rain in harvest,
So honor is not fitting for a fool.
2 Like a sparrow in its flitting, like a swallow in its flying,
So a curse without cause does not alight.
3 A whip is for the horse, a bridle for the donkey,
And a rod for the back of fools.
4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly,
Or you will also be like him.
5 Answer a fool as his folly deserves,
That he not be wise in his own eyes.
6 He cuts off his own feet and drinks violence
Who sends a message by the hand of a fool.
7 Like the legs which are useless to the lame,
So is a proverb in the mouth of fools.
8 Like one who binds a stone in a sling,
So is he who gives honor to a fool.
9 Like a thorn which falls into the hand of a drunkard,
So is a proverb in the mouth of fools.
10 Like an archer who wounds everyone,
So is he who hires a fool or who hires those who pass by.
11 Like a dog that returns to its vomit
Is a fool who repeats his folly.
12 Do you see a man wise in his own eyes?
There is more hope for a fool than for him."
The narc often accuses others of things the narc is doing but the others are not.
Proverbs 26:1-12
"26 Like snow in summer and like rain in harvest,
So honor is not fitting for a fool.
2 Like a sparrow in its flitting, like a swallow in its flying,
So a curse without cause does not alight.
3 A whip is for the horse, a bridle for the donkey,
And a rod for the back of fools.
4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly,
Or you will also be like him.
5 Answer a fool as his folly deserves,
That he not be wise in his own eyes.
6 He cuts off his own feet and drinks violence
Who sends a message by the hand of a fool.
7 Like the legs which are useless to the lame,
So is a proverb in the mouth of fools.
8 Like one who binds a stone in a sling,
So is he who gives honor to a fool.
9 Like a thorn which falls into the hand of a drunkard,
So is a proverb in the mouth of fools.
10 Like an archer who wounds everyone,
So is he who hires a fool or who hires those who pass by.
11 Like a dog that returns to its vomit
Is a fool who repeats his folly.
12 Do you see a man wise in his own eyes?
There is more hope for a fool than for him."
Covert Narcissists Destroy Relationships
This is happening more and more in our culture, I have seen it up close and personal in extended family. Churches also practice this often, these groups are called "cliques."
The only hope for covert narcissists is to become born again through the power of Christ.
The only hope for covert narcissists is to become born again through the power of Christ.
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