Does anyone grow weary of those who are so legalistic they are willing to distract others from truth to focus them on the minor things, such as which day to worship. The Judaizers were chastised by Christ for this nonsense. They were more concerned about not working on a certain day than they were on holiness of the inner man.
Romans 14:4-6 "…4 Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand. 5 One man regards a certain day above the others, while someone else considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6 He who observes a special day does so to the Lord; he who eats does so to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God."
Isn't this just the way of it, in order to distract from the real message, someone comes to attack "the day" someone is preaching. It is an unnecessary distraction from the real message.
When the legalists have distracted others with their own rules not commanded in the Word, so as to major on the unimportant while ignoring the weightier matters, they cause division.
Matthew 23:22-24 "…22 And he who swears by heaven swears by God’s throne and by the One who sits on it. 23 Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You pay tithes of mint, dill, and cumin, but you have disregarded the weightier matters of the Law: justice, mercy, and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. 24 You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.…"
Sunday, April 9, 2017
There is a Place of No Return
There is that one moment, the last one we experience that invites us to walk away and be finished with that which we realize we cannot fix. Once we reach that point, moving on becomes easy and even complete.
See the Link!
Christ First and Last All!
When our families are more important than God, then how they want us to be and what they want us to do, will take precedence over Christ. We can never let anyone or anything take first place above Christ.
Matthew 10:36-38 "36 A man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’ 37 Anyone who loves his father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me; 38 and anyone who does not take up his cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me.…"
Our family are those who have trusted Christ!
1 John 3:14 "…13 So do not be surprised, brothers, if the world hates you. 14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. The one who does not love remains in death. 15 Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that eternal life does not reside in a murderer.…"
Matthew 10:36-38 "36 A man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’ 37 Anyone who loves his father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me; 38 and anyone who does not take up his cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me.…"
Our family are those who have trusted Christ!
1 John 3:14 "…13 So do not be surprised, brothers, if the world hates you. 14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. The one who does not love remains in death. 15 Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that eternal life does not reside in a murderer.…"
All Narcissists are Passive Aggressive
Follow the Link to learn the tactics of the Narcissists in your life;
It Must Match the Bible
If there is a besetting sin in your life, make no mistake, any resolution to do better and work real hard at removing it, is sin and will only bring more heartache for you and others around you.
"But that sounds crazy", you might say! It sounds crazy because it is the opposite of what Christ says to us. The world gives us tools and tells us to work hard to overcome our flaws, but God says the opposite.
1 John 1:7 "But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanseth us from all sin."
Romans 8:13-14
"For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are the sons of God”
John 4:23-24 "…23 But a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth, for the Father is seeking such as these to worship Him. 24 God is Spirit, and His worshipers must worship Him in spirit and in truth.” "
1 John 1:9
"9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
We do not have to work real hard to obey, we must simply confess our sin, trust Christ to change us and walk in obedience as led by Him. He will never instruct us to do anything that is not outlined in His Word the Bible.
If we think God is telling us to do something but it does not line up with His principles as described in the Bible, then it is not from Him.
"But that sounds crazy", you might say! It sounds crazy because it is the opposite of what Christ says to us. The world gives us tools and tells us to work hard to overcome our flaws, but God says the opposite.
1 John 1:7 "But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanseth us from all sin."
Romans 8:13-14
"For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are the sons of God”
John 4:23-24 "…23 But a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth, for the Father is seeking such as these to worship Him. 24 God is Spirit, and His worshipers must worship Him in spirit and in truth.” "
1 John 1:9
"9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
We do not have to work real hard to obey, we must simply confess our sin, trust Christ to change us and walk in obedience as led by Him. He will never instruct us to do anything that is not outlined in His Word the Bible.
If we think God is telling us to do something but it does not line up with His principles as described in the Bible, then it is not from Him.
Judgment Day is Coming, be Ready for it!
Narcissists claim the opposite about themselves, if they claim they have no drama, we can see from their behavior that they are the ones causing the drama in their own lives. Narcs always blame others or assign to others the very behaviors they display themselves.
They will assert that they don’t lie, while telling you a lie. They reject others for their bad behavior, that the others are not doing, but the narcissist is doing. They may even claim they are not “fake” but in fact by the assertion they are revealing that they are the ones who are fake.
Narcissists place more weight and importance on words than truth and reality. It doesn’t matter to them what the truth or actions are, as long as they can say something to manipulate people to believe things about them, they are satisfied with the illusion they have created.
This is why narcissists do not grow on any level, they are stuck in a six year old mentality. When someone cannot ever admit their flaws there can be no change in behavior. We often see people who are manipulative liars, demeaning and mocking behavior into their elder years because there has been no social or spiritual growth in all their lives. Sadly, the findings show that narcissists not only do not progress in maturity, but they also regress. As they become older they no longer have the strength or resolve to keep up the illusion, so they become more aggressive, meaner and more combative than in their younger years when they cared how people perceived them.
They do the same things over and over again and ultimately end up losing their friends because reasonable people cannot trust them. Those who have matured in their lives find it particularly distasteful to have a narcissist hanging around demonstrating childlike tantrums to control others.
There is continual lying and illusion going on all the time. One never knows when the next dramatic tirade is going to emerge to cause trouble.
Everyone has flaws, in order to grow and become better people we must admit those flaws while seeking to obey God and His principles. Narcissists cannot bow to anyone let alone a God they cannot see. Everything for the narc is about pretense and illusion, nothing is of substance. This is the reason they spend so much time avoiding instruction, correction and honest discussion, they resist every attempt at spiritual or emotional growth through accountability with other believers.
2 Timothy 4:2-3 “ 2 Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and encourage with every form of patient instruction. 3 For the time will come when men will not tolerate sound doctrine, but with itching ears they will gather around themselves teachers to suit their own desires.…”
When someone’s Christianity is only words and almost never actions or attitudes, then it is possible that this person has never been born again. It is good to ask ourselves, “do our actions and attitudes match up with our words.” Are the words the illusion to impress others, or do the actions and attitudes reflect the truth of our words.
Words are worthless when not backed up by evidence. No lawyer goes into a court of law with only words as their evidence. There must always be proof in physical form to prove the words.
It is common in the Pentecostal community to place all truth in the realm of “feelings” and “words”, without the power of God behind any of it.
When our Christianity is based on words and feelings alone, then it is not Christianity at all but a “form of religion, without the power of God.”
2 Timothy 3:5 “5 holding to a form of [b]godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these.”
Why all the warnings about narcissism and superficial Christianity, you might ask? Simply put, we are living in the 2 Timothy 3 times of rebellion that God warned us about. We are seeing more of the devil’s work in people’s hearts to deceive, mock and devalue the things of God.
As believers in Christ we are better equipped if we are forewarned about the tactics of the devil and the false accusations against the believer who walks with Christ.
Those who harbor rebellion in their hearts, that hate correction or instruction, will be used of the devil to work on destroying the righteous.
When we know who our enemy is, the devil and his helpless narcissists, we don’t have to give into their demands or tricks to manipulate us into sin. The harder the devil works to cause us to sin the more strongly we can resist and remain innocent, no matter that is done to us.
We must fight the devil in prayer and allow God to do our fighting for us.
James 4:6-8 “6 But He gives us more grace. This is why it says: “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” 7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.…”
When we have been changed into a new creation by Christ, the change in us is immediate and permanent. If someone deeply regresses into their old attitudes and actions, it is strong evidence that they have never been born again. The warning for them is go to God to see if they have ever trusted Christ, confessed their sinfulness, having been broken over their sinful selves.
If there has never been a brokenness over their sin, a desire to please God in reality rather than just illusion to impress others, then the salvation experience never occurred. This is why we see the churches growing in apostasy, many people remaining in the church or newly entering churches today are living an illusion rather than transformation.
2 Timothy 4:1-5 “4 I solemnly charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by His appearing and His kingdom: 2 preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with [a]great patience and instruction. 3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, 4 and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths. 5 But you, be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.”
It is my prayer and hope that all the narcissists we encounter will repent from their elevated view of their own importance, realize their sin before God and trust Christ to cover their sin with His blood. It is only contrition in their heart and a desire to be changed by Christ that will save the narcissist.
All the perceptions of others will not make them saved, nor will self-effort to be good last. The illusion will fade, the superiority will be stripped away at the judgment seat of Christ. There will be no pretending in the Kingdom of God, all will be revealed for everyone to see.
Whatever you think you are hiding now, will one day be seen by all. It is best to repent, confess and be cleansed by Christ now, so that all those sins will be cleansed and gone before judgment day approaches.
They will assert that they don’t lie, while telling you a lie. They reject others for their bad behavior, that the others are not doing, but the narcissist is doing. They may even claim they are not “fake” but in fact by the assertion they are revealing that they are the ones who are fake.
Narcissists place more weight and importance on words than truth and reality. It doesn’t matter to them what the truth or actions are, as long as they can say something to manipulate people to believe things about them, they are satisfied with the illusion they have created.
This is why narcissists do not grow on any level, they are stuck in a six year old mentality. When someone cannot ever admit their flaws there can be no change in behavior. We often see people who are manipulative liars, demeaning and mocking behavior into their elder years because there has been no social or spiritual growth in all their lives. Sadly, the findings show that narcissists not only do not progress in maturity, but they also regress. As they become older they no longer have the strength or resolve to keep up the illusion, so they become more aggressive, meaner and more combative than in their younger years when they cared how people perceived them.
They do the same things over and over again and ultimately end up losing their friends because reasonable people cannot trust them. Those who have matured in their lives find it particularly distasteful to have a narcissist hanging around demonstrating childlike tantrums to control others.
There is continual lying and illusion going on all the time. One never knows when the next dramatic tirade is going to emerge to cause trouble.
Everyone has flaws, in order to grow and become better people we must admit those flaws while seeking to obey God and His principles. Narcissists cannot bow to anyone let alone a God they cannot see. Everything for the narc is about pretense and illusion, nothing is of substance. This is the reason they spend so much time avoiding instruction, correction and honest discussion, they resist every attempt at spiritual or emotional growth through accountability with other believers.
2 Timothy 4:2-3 “ 2 Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and encourage with every form of patient instruction. 3 For the time will come when men will not tolerate sound doctrine, but with itching ears they will gather around themselves teachers to suit their own desires.…”
When someone’s Christianity is only words and almost never actions or attitudes, then it is possible that this person has never been born again. It is good to ask ourselves, “do our actions and attitudes match up with our words.” Are the words the illusion to impress others, or do the actions and attitudes reflect the truth of our words.
Words are worthless when not backed up by evidence. No lawyer goes into a court of law with only words as their evidence. There must always be proof in physical form to prove the words.
It is common in the Pentecostal community to place all truth in the realm of “feelings” and “words”, without the power of God behind any of it.
When our Christianity is based on words and feelings alone, then it is not Christianity at all but a “form of religion, without the power of God.”
2 Timothy 3:5 “5 holding to a form of [b]godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these.”
Why all the warnings about narcissism and superficial Christianity, you might ask? Simply put, we are living in the 2 Timothy 3 times of rebellion that God warned us about. We are seeing more of the devil’s work in people’s hearts to deceive, mock and devalue the things of God.
As believers in Christ we are better equipped if we are forewarned about the tactics of the devil and the false accusations against the believer who walks with Christ.
Those who harbor rebellion in their hearts, that hate correction or instruction, will be used of the devil to work on destroying the righteous.
When we know who our enemy is, the devil and his helpless narcissists, we don’t have to give into their demands or tricks to manipulate us into sin. The harder the devil works to cause us to sin the more strongly we can resist and remain innocent, no matter that is done to us.
We must fight the devil in prayer and allow God to do our fighting for us.
James 4:6-8 “6 But He gives us more grace. This is why it says: “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” 7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.…”
When we have been changed into a new creation by Christ, the change in us is immediate and permanent. If someone deeply regresses into their old attitudes and actions, it is strong evidence that they have never been born again. The warning for them is go to God to see if they have ever trusted Christ, confessed their sinfulness, having been broken over their sinful selves.
If there has never been a brokenness over their sin, a desire to please God in reality rather than just illusion to impress others, then the salvation experience never occurred. This is why we see the churches growing in apostasy, many people remaining in the church or newly entering churches today are living an illusion rather than transformation.
2 Timothy 4:1-5 “4 I solemnly charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by His appearing and His kingdom: 2 preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with [a]great patience and instruction. 3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, 4 and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths. 5 But you, be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.”
It is my prayer and hope that all the narcissists we encounter will repent from their elevated view of their own importance, realize their sin before God and trust Christ to cover their sin with His blood. It is only contrition in their heart and a desire to be changed by Christ that will save the narcissist.
All the perceptions of others will not make them saved, nor will self-effort to be good last. The illusion will fade, the superiority will be stripped away at the judgment seat of Christ. There will be no pretending in the Kingdom of God, all will be revealed for everyone to see.
Whatever you think you are hiding now, will one day be seen by all. It is best to repent, confess and be cleansed by Christ now, so that all those sins will be cleansed and gone before judgment day approaches.
The Narcissist is Destructive
For me the narcissist in my life uses "non-responsiveness" to demean. They refuse to answer a question or ignore you when you have a suggestion or idea that might be good for you or even them. They use "dismissiveness" to show us how unimportant and stupid we are, this makes them feel in control. Because they lack empathy, they go entirely with their feelings rather than rational thinking.
Narcissists use "plausible deniability" in their tactics. They are subtle enough that the narc can easily deny it and their victims cannot prove.
Follow the link to learn more:
Narcissists use "plausible deniability" in their tactics. They are subtle enough that the narc can easily deny it and their victims cannot prove.
Follow the link to learn more:
Only One
Luke 15:7 " 7 In the same way, I tell you that there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous ones who do not need to repent."
The Narcissist and Their Lies
Know the enemy and his tactics to be able to stand against him.
Who is the enemy? The enemy of our soul is the devil and he works in people and relationships to destroy them.
There is a demonic and chaotic mentality among those who have narcissistic personality disorder that is revealed in conversation.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
Since they have no conscience about telling lies to elevate self or appear superior, they will know the truth about something and lie to maintain the elevated status in their own minds. They will never admit to any misstep or misunderstanding, when discovered they will remain silent, shutting down all further communication to hide their error.
Some of these people are careful to tell the lie in such a way that it can be denied later. Since the narcissist has no conscience or empathy toward anyone, they are conscience free about lying as long as they believe they can hide it sufficiently. They tend to see everyone else with this problem and not them, when in fact they are the one they should be evaluating.
These people absolutely refuse to admit to anything, even the smallest matter that most normal people would shrug off and forget, they feel a need to lie to defend it.
The narcissist often finds themselves lonely and isolated because of their lying, but are so completely dedicated to protecting themselves against discovery that they will maintain their lies, preferring isolation from others to truth that might afford them the companionship of others.
When the narcissist gets away with their lie, they consider themselves as having won, superior and clever, therefore the cycle continues to grow worse as they grow older.
The narcissist uses this cycle of assumptions and lies to devalue the opinions and accomplishments of others, believing that others they think they have fooled, are stupid. Causing others to appear stupid is their tool to appear superior and entitled.
The narcissist sees anyone who is honest and open as a fool worthy of contempt, as well as anyone with physical illness. The narcissist despises those with illness as though they are weak and less than perfect. Since the narcissist views themselves as the epitome of perfection they cannot endure others they perceive as imperfect. They elevate others they view as perfect, but the perfection is based on whether or not the favored one elevates them continually.
Openness and honesty is avoided at all cost in the narcissists bag of tools. These godly traits irritate the narcissist. It is impossible to engage in meaningful conversation with a narcissist. The conversation must elevate them at all times while the attention must always be on them.
If anyone dares to attempt honest communication for the purpose of discovering truth to fix a problem, the narcissist will sabotage any attempts at reasonable conversation.
Can a born again believer be this entrenched in lies? I have my doubts, since the father of lies is the devil and since he is the one controlling the narcissist. I am convinced that those who are deeply engaged in lying on a regular basis cannot be born again, they lie because they have never been born again. Believers can also lie from time to time, but they will not live in a lifestyle of continual lying.
A born again believer would be convicted of their lying and disciplined by God for it.
Hebrews 12:7-9 "…7 Endure suffering as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8 If you do not experience discipline like everyone else, then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9 Furthermore, we have all had earthly fathers who disciplined us, and we respected them. Should we not much more submit to the Father of our spirits and live?…"
I have known and know now many people who engage in vitriolic lying continually, especially against those who have "outed" them. The believers who can see the lying, call it what it is and address it, are targets for the narcissist. The narcissist must work to discredit, mock and demean anyone who knows what they are, especially if they cannot seem to get control over their target.
The narcissist is not satisfied with merely arguing with or picking on their target, they must "triangulate", meaning they have to turn others against their target, using others to do their dirty work for them in punishing and isolating the one who will not be controlled by them.
When we discover what we are dealing with, it is best to get away from them as instructed by God in 2 Timothy 3 verse 5. If we cannot get away we must stand our ground, observe their behavior without sucking it into our soul. Seeing them in pity helps to defuse any feelings of anger or hatred. They are controlled by the devil, he is the one we should direct our anger at and he is the one we can pray against.
The narcissist is a pathetic human being controlled by the devil, being led to believe by his lies that they are in control of their own lives. They often even believe they are doing God's will by mocking, demeaning and controlling those who are less worthy of love.
It is pointless and fruitless to attempt any communication with the narcissist. When we want to clear up a problem with a normal person we use honesty, empathy and kindness, unfamiliar traits to the narcissist.
The fruit of the Spirit is what is present in the born again believer. This fruit is present in all believers, when we misstep or sin, we hate it, confess it and continue moving forward to be better than we were before. The narcissist never learns, because they are in opposition to truth, self is on the throne of their life and no one will knock them off of that throne........except God.
Galatians 5:22-23
"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."
Narcissists will pretend to have this fruit, but on examination of their actions we see none of them. Narcissists will be far more invested in "words" than "actions." They believe it is enough to claim something it is not necessary to actually "be" what they claim.
Let's pray that God will show the narcissist their need for confession and a desire to be cleansed of their sin. Without confession there is no healing nor is their change.
1 John 1:9 "9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Narcissists must first become born again to experience that discipline that is vital to the growth of the believer. Without the Holy Spirit there is no help to be anything but what they, and all of us are born with, that is a fallen and sinful state on our way to hell.
Christ is the answer for the narcissist and He is the answer to the target for safety, help and wisdom as we go through this life encountering more of these people. God told us in 2 Timothy 3 what the end times attitudes would look like, we are warned and equipped to deal with it, but only if we trust Christ for each day. He can and will give us wisdom for every aspect of our lives, including how to deal with devilish and rebellious people.
Who is the enemy? The enemy of our soul is the devil and he works in people and relationships to destroy them.
There is a demonic and chaotic mentality among those who have narcissistic personality disorder that is revealed in conversation.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
Since they have no conscience about telling lies to elevate self or appear superior, they will know the truth about something and lie to maintain the elevated status in their own minds. They will never admit to any misstep or misunderstanding, when discovered they will remain silent, shutting down all further communication to hide their error.
Some of these people are careful to tell the lie in such a way that it can be denied later. Since the narcissist has no conscience or empathy toward anyone, they are conscience free about lying as long as they believe they can hide it sufficiently. They tend to see everyone else with this problem and not them, when in fact they are the one they should be evaluating.
These people absolutely refuse to admit to anything, even the smallest matter that most normal people would shrug off and forget, they feel a need to lie to defend it.
The narcissist often finds themselves lonely and isolated because of their lying, but are so completely dedicated to protecting themselves against discovery that they will maintain their lies, preferring isolation from others to truth that might afford them the companionship of others.
When the narcissist gets away with their lie, they consider themselves as having won, superior and clever, therefore the cycle continues to grow worse as they grow older.
The narcissist uses this cycle of assumptions and lies to devalue the opinions and accomplishments of others, believing that others they think they have fooled, are stupid. Causing others to appear stupid is their tool to appear superior and entitled.
The narcissist sees anyone who is honest and open as a fool worthy of contempt, as well as anyone with physical illness. The narcissist despises those with illness as though they are weak and less than perfect. Since the narcissist views themselves as the epitome of perfection they cannot endure others they perceive as imperfect. They elevate others they view as perfect, but the perfection is based on whether or not the favored one elevates them continually.
Openness and honesty is avoided at all cost in the narcissists bag of tools. These godly traits irritate the narcissist. It is impossible to engage in meaningful conversation with a narcissist. The conversation must elevate them at all times while the attention must always be on them.
If anyone dares to attempt honest communication for the purpose of discovering truth to fix a problem, the narcissist will sabotage any attempts at reasonable conversation.
Can a born again believer be this entrenched in lies? I have my doubts, since the father of lies is the devil and since he is the one controlling the narcissist. I am convinced that those who are deeply engaged in lying on a regular basis cannot be born again, they lie because they have never been born again. Believers can also lie from time to time, but they will not live in a lifestyle of continual lying.
A born again believer would be convicted of their lying and disciplined by God for it.
Hebrews 12:7-9 "…7 Endure suffering as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8 If you do not experience discipline like everyone else, then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9 Furthermore, we have all had earthly fathers who disciplined us, and we respected them. Should we not much more submit to the Father of our spirits and live?…"
I have known and know now many people who engage in vitriolic lying continually, especially against those who have "outed" them. The believers who can see the lying, call it what it is and address it, are targets for the narcissist. The narcissist must work to discredit, mock and demean anyone who knows what they are, especially if they cannot seem to get control over their target.
The narcissist is not satisfied with merely arguing with or picking on their target, they must "triangulate", meaning they have to turn others against their target, using others to do their dirty work for them in punishing and isolating the one who will not be controlled by them.
When we discover what we are dealing with, it is best to get away from them as instructed by God in 2 Timothy 3 verse 5. If we cannot get away we must stand our ground, observe their behavior without sucking it into our soul. Seeing them in pity helps to defuse any feelings of anger or hatred. They are controlled by the devil, he is the one we should direct our anger at and he is the one we can pray against.
The narcissist is a pathetic human being controlled by the devil, being led to believe by his lies that they are in control of their own lives. They often even believe they are doing God's will by mocking, demeaning and controlling those who are less worthy of love.
It is pointless and fruitless to attempt any communication with the narcissist. When we want to clear up a problem with a normal person we use honesty, empathy and kindness, unfamiliar traits to the narcissist.
The fruit of the Spirit is what is present in the born again believer. This fruit is present in all believers, when we misstep or sin, we hate it, confess it and continue moving forward to be better than we were before. The narcissist never learns, because they are in opposition to truth, self is on the throne of their life and no one will knock them off of that throne........except God.
Galatians 5:22-23
"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."
Narcissists will pretend to have this fruit, but on examination of their actions we see none of them. Narcissists will be far more invested in "words" than "actions." They believe it is enough to claim something it is not necessary to actually "be" what they claim.
Let's pray that God will show the narcissist their need for confession and a desire to be cleansed of their sin. Without confession there is no healing nor is their change.
1 John 1:9 "9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Narcissists must first become born again to experience that discipline that is vital to the growth of the believer. Without the Holy Spirit there is no help to be anything but what they, and all of us are born with, that is a fallen and sinful state on our way to hell.
Christ is the answer for the narcissist and He is the answer to the target for safety, help and wisdom as we go through this life encountering more of these people. God told us in 2 Timothy 3 what the end times attitudes would look like, we are warned and equipped to deal with it, but only if we trust Christ for each day. He can and will give us wisdom for every aspect of our lives, including how to deal with devilish and rebellious people.
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