Envy and Jealousy

Envy is when we want something someone else has.

Jealousy is when we have something and do not want someone else to have it or someone else has something we want and are angry they have it and we do not.

God speaks against both these sins.

We all see something someone else has and think it would work well for us too, so we ask where we can get one of those, this is not sinful envy. I often glean ideas for my household from how someone else is doing something that works for them.

Gleaning ideas from how others do things is just smart to make our lives work better or are more pleasant. This is why we look at home and garden magazines to find ideas.

Someone who is not competitive will be happy to share how they did something or where they got something so that others will be blessed too.

I remember a woman who was asked to share her recipe with another woman. The woman with the recipe made it clear that she always leaves out an ingredient when sharing a recipe so that no one else will be able to make the dish as delicious as she does.

It was laughable because when the woman with the recipe asked someone else for theirs she made sure they do not leave anything out so that she can make it as good as they made it. A little hypocrisy going on there.

When we love people we want to share our things and ideas with them. We are flattered that they like our ideas so much that they want to use them too. A loving person does not care about being elevated above others, they just want to bless them.

Matthew 12:11-12 "…11So if you who are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him! 12 In everything, then, do to others as you would have them do to you. For this is the essence of the Law and the Prophets."

However, a narcissist will steal the ideas of others and claim the idea came from them. They hate to give others credit while driven to be seen as the one with the idea.

Narcissists will also watch what other accomplished people do and try to do it themselves only better. They hate it when someone else does something they cannot or will not do.

When the narcissist sees their target accomplishing something they will ignore it completely so as not to encourage them, or they will criticize it as a useless accomplishment.

When we walk with Christ we have no desire to be superior to anyone else, we are just content to do what we do the best we can. If we compete it is with ourselves to do better than we did before. We are happy for others who do well because we are not competing with anyone else.

1 Thessalonians 5:11

"11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."

God commended the Thessalonian believers for helping one another be the best they can be through truth, companionship and helps.

The Rager, No Need to Engage with Them!

When I find that I am dealing with a "rager" rather than a listener I immediately end the conversation by politely excusing myself.

The "rager" avoids me after that because they wanted to fight and I would not fight with them.

The devil loves to ruin our witness by making us act like the rager. My motive when I speak is to share what I know, the hearer doesn't have to accept it but it may give them some information they didn't have. I listen to them for this purpose too.

Loving, kind discussions can help us grow but fighting only leaves everyone beaten and broken without actually hearing the message.

I think what helped me was the realization that I didn't need to convince anyone, then I have no frustration when they don't see things my way.

Matthew 10:14 "And whoever does not receive you nor listen to your words, as you leave that house or city, shake the dust off your feet."

When we politely excuse ourselves the rager has nothing to hold against us. They may blame us for something but it will be a lie. I would rather let them tell an out-and-out lie than have a half-truth to tell that makes them look innocent.

Bondage to Arrogance and Superiority

If the only thing we are guilty of is arrogance or self-will that is enough to cause insecurity in us. Arrogance drives an addiction to be superior. It does not satisfy it dominates making crazy those who are addicted to it.

Keep in mind an arrogant person is deeply insecure, they have a driven desire to be more than they believe they are in the eyes of others.

Rather than being angry at an arrogant person, it is best to feel sorry for them leading us to pray that God releases them from their bondage and inclination to be superior to others.

It is one thing to be confident about our abilities in something it is quite another to be driven to diminish others to achieve superiority over them.

1 Peter 5:6 "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,"

Philippians 2:3-11

"Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men."

Speaking Truth without Flattery

"If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all", was an irrational mantra pulled out of a hat whenever it suited the one who didn't want to hear the truth.

"Don't judge" has been another rampant mantra in the world adopted by churchgoers. Even though we must evaluate things every day to protect ourselves, avoid pitfalls, and keep from entering into relationships that are destructive, this mantra pops up every time we attempt to tell the hard truths about someone's behavior or attitude.

God commanded us to judge righteous judgment, he told us to beware of false prophets and to avoid contentious people, all of this demands that we judge.

John 7:24 “Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.”

God exposed Ananias and Saphirah for their lying showing it was so important that He killed them.

We are to judge according to the bible. When a believer is walking into sin we are to warn them and avoid them if they will not listen. We are also to recognize those who are not born again and heading toward hell. In order to give them the gospel, we must know if they are unsaved in the first place according to the Bible.

To tell someone they should not judge another person is to say that the Holy Spirit and the Bible are useless to enlighten us as to the character of another person. This could not be farther from the truth.

1 Corinthians 6:2-3 “Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world is to be judged by you, are you incompetent to try trivial cases? Do you not know that we are to judge angels? How much more, then, matters pertaining to this life!”

Mark 8:15 “Mark 8:15 “15 And He was giving orders to them, saying, “Watch out! Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, and the leaven of Herod.”

We would not be able to discern those who are leaven unless we evaluated them according to God’s Word.

God tells us in His word the nature and actions of those who are not born again. He is our guide in judging and our speech. He also clearly shows us those who are wicked, their words, their actions, their attitudes are seen and Spiritually discerned. To say we should not judge people is to deny truth according to God’s Word.

If all we say is nice happy things we will enable the unsaved to enter hell without warning. If we do not judge anything we will allow believers to walk into deep pits without warning to experience the discipline of the Lord.

Those who use these silly and unbiblical mantras are being used by the devil to silence the truth-teller, leaving the unsaved and the believers to wallow in devastation without hope.

Romans 2:5 “But because of your hard and impenitent heart you are storing up wrath for yourself on the day of wrath when God's righteous judgment will be revealed.”

Those who walk with Christ no better than to use these meaningless and destructive mantras. They know they need love according to the Bible that warns about hell and disobedience. There is no love in watching a person march toward a deep canyon to throw themselves off. It is not loving to allow someone we care about to destroy themselves.

I recall once a time when a woman rebuked her brother for his hateful behavior toward her. Because the brother was the golden child of the mother, the mother chastised the woman saying; “we shouldn’t tell people they are wrong.”

Notice something interesting in this exchange? The mother was telling her daughter she was wrong for telling someone they were wrong, a smattering of hypocrisy!

Unbiblical stances by those who defy God’s Word are always inconsistent and irrational at best. They are attempts on the part of the devil to silence truth and protect sin. The people who use these mantras often if not always ultimately end up protecting the sinful person rather than supporting the righteous ones. 1 Thessalonians 2:5 "5 For we never came with words of flattery, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed—God is witness."

Romans 16:18 "18 For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive."

Proverbs 29:5 " 5 A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet."

Let's not be those who use worldly mantras for the sake of enjoying our lives without discord. Let's tell the truth by doing the hard work of helping people to know the truth and become changed by Christ.

"Christians" Who Walk in Narcissism

People who say they are Christians but walk in narcissism can appear wonderful but their good deeds are done to impress others, they must talk about what they have done or it has no value for them.

Matthew 23:4-6 "…4 They tie up heavy, burdensome loads and lay them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them. 5 All their deeds are done for men to see. They broaden their phylacteries and lengthen their tassels. 6 They love the places of honor at banquets, the chief seats in the synagogues,…"

Our culture is full of those who do good deeds as transactions for elevating themselves. No good deed is wasted without notice.

I am not a fan of praising people who do good deeds, because we never know their motives, God must judge that. People say; "don't judge' but they are ready and willing to judge someone as good but do not like to judge the actions they can see that dishonor God.

If we are not to judge then that applies to both good and bad. Encouragement is good but praise is not good. I reserve my praise for God alone, He knows everyone's heart. We can discern a heart that does good deeds but never talks about them. It is a clue that they good deed was authentic.

Matthew 7:15-20

You Will Know Them by Their Fruit

15 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Therefore by their fruits you will know them."

What is the fruit of the Holy Spirit in every believer?

Galatians 5:22-23

"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."

The fruit of the Spirit is the character qualities of Christ that produce good works for the right reasons, that is to glorify God and not self.

As believers, we are much more satisfied with our works when it is God we are pleasing. Those who do good deeds to be able to boast must keep doing it over and over again to feel fulfilled. When we please Christ we are completely at peace without ever boasting to others for their praise.

Isaiah 32:17

17 And the work of righteousness will be peace,

And the service of righteousness, quietness and confidence forever."

10 Signs Of A Troubled Jealous Person