Amir Tsarfati: The Final Jihad

Two Walking Together

If you are faced with the accusation that you think you are better than someone else because you do not hang out with them, there is a simple answer that will defuse that charge by simply answering this way;

"It isn't a matter of me being better than someone else it is a matter of my personal choice in friends. I choose friends based on our compatibility with my chosen path."

Amos 3:3 says that it is not possible for two to walk together who are not agreed.

We as believers love people and wish, like Jesus Christ, that they would all become saved, but they can only become our companions if they love Him. We live in the world we interact with the world but we do not consort with the world.

1 Corinthians 2:14-15 "…13 And this is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom, but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words. 14 The natural man does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God. For they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. 15 The spiritual man judges all things, but he himself is not subject to anyone’s judgment.…"

Those who do not love Christ will not understand our ways, in fact often our ways make the worldly unbeliever hate us. Even when we remain silent they will hate how we live because it convicts them of their own sin.

John 16:7-9 "…7 But I tell you the truth, it is for your benefit that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you. 8 And when He comes, He will convict the world in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment: 9 in regard to sin, because they do not believe in Me;…"

Unbelievers will hate us because we are not friends with them and they will hate us if we are friends with them because we do not think the way they think. Either way they will hate us, the best thing to do is to "come out from among them and be separate."

2 Corinthians 6:16-18 "…16 What agreement can exist between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will dwell with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be My people.”

17“Therefore come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.”

18 And: “I will be a Father to you, and you will be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”…"

Seems pretty clear to me! Just saying!

7 Signs of a Toxic Relationship

7 Signs of a Toxic Relationship from Chris Reece. I have added the comments next to the trait.

1. Chronically Angry: Any little thing will set them off

2. Passive Aggressive: covertly mean actions

3. Controlling: always wanting their own way

4. Self-Centered: Everything is about them.

5. Unforgiving: love to hold your past sins against you

6. Manipulative: claiming things that are not true about you

7. Defensiveness: Excuses or blame shifting when confronted.

I have added an 8 sign and that is gaslighting, pretending something happened a certain way when it didn't and changing the narrative.

All the narcissists I have known do all these things. I it is impossible to resolve anything, they do not bend or try to understand another person's needs. They rage or play the victim when they have been rude or mean and then blame you, they say you caused trouble by calling them out on their behavior.

These people never apologize genuinely, even their apologies are superficial to manipulate. Those who act like this with these traits cannot be trusted.

Proverbs 26:6-12

6. "One who sends a message by the hand of a fool

Chops off his own feet and drinks violence.

7 Like useless legs to one who cannot walk,

So is a proverb in the mouths of fools.

8 Like one who binds a stone in a sling,

So is one who gives honor to a fool.

9 Like a thorn that sticks in the hand of a heavy drinker,

So is a proverb in the mouths of fools.

10 Like an archer who wounds everyone,

So is one who hires a fool or hires those who pass by.

11 Like a dog that returns to its vomit,

So is a fool who repeats his foolishness.

12 Do you see a person wise in his own eyes?

There is more hope for a fool than for him."

Toxic Positivist Minimizes that which is Uncomfortable for them.

There is such a person who is the "toxic positivist", the person who exudes sunshine and only looks at the good side of everything.

A person like this is not able to help anyone because they will deliberately try to find reasons why it didn't happen or we must not have encountered our problem.

These people deny truth in favor of happy feelings, they can never stand strong in the face of adversity. Their focus is on themselves not the person in front of them.

The born-again believer has joy through all things but they do not always have happiness. Sometimes all of us go through difficult times in which we feel a lot of pain or sadness, this does not make us foolish or less spiritual.

Those who are Spiritual will go through these hard times with joy and tears simultaneously coming out the other side stronger and wiser. Refer to the story of Job to understand this more fully.

When someone says to you while you are sharing your trials; "just be happy", they are telling you they do not want to deal with you while you are in your trial. They are glad to come back and take from us when we are having great days but want nothing to do with going through with us on the hard days. They are "fair-weather friends, really not friends at all.

Our lives are like a garden, there are flowers and food but there are also weeds. When we love someone we take all of them, their flowers, their food, and their weeds, this is a true friendship. We enter into every aspect of our friend's lives as the Scripture describes true friendship.

Romans 12:15

"15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep."

If our friend falls into sin, comes out repentant and sorrowful ready to turn from their sin we weep with them. It is not a good friend who accuses a repentant sinner in order to beat them down further, this is a narcissist who would do such a thing. The narcissist loves our pain and the power they think they have over us when we are climbing out of the pit of despair. They would rather see us in the pit than see us climb out of it.

A "toxic positivist" is self-absorbed or they would authentically feel what others feel and desire to be supportive.

A toxic positivist would say to a person with aphids on the leaves of a plant to ingore the bugs and focus on the flowers. So leaving the plant unprotected without a solution. The very least a good Christian friend does is to pray with you or for you during your trial.

To ignore the problems and focus only on what they choose to believe is happy they invalidate others through phony positive talk.

When we go through trials and others are watching we learn from them but so do others. There is a learning process we go through when we can call things what they really are. Those who pretend things dishonestly will not learn wisdom.

Those who can only face what is positive have a very narrow view of life because of their fear of feeling bad. Those who are confident in Christ will be able to look at everything objectively without the need to place frosting on it. We can state the truth, even weep with those who weep, and maintain our confidence. Those who are narcissists fear being discovered a weak so they have to put forth a false positive persona as they hide from others within their inner man.

Those who are hiding, pretending to be positive never become close to anyone. In order to be close to others we must be willing to be vulnerable and able to share authentically with trusted friends our feelings about everything. Notice I said "trusted friends", not everyone is worthy of this level of closeness, many would use our honesty against us but others would engage with us, pray for us, and love us as brothers and sisters should.

Some of the thoughts in this article come from quotes from Stoicism. I would not recommend everything the Stoics said but some reflect Biblical concepts, even if they don't know it. Perhaps some of what they say is just "good old-fashioned horse sense" that all people should understand.

Refuse to be moved by emotional manipulation and learn to say no assertively so that there are no misunderstandings. We need to be willing to be emotionally supportive of someone's trials but we cannot solve their problems for them.

Our life must always be guided by our own values and decisions. As a born-again believer, our life is guided by Jesus Christ Who lives in us.

"A garden needs both sunshine and rain to flourish," Our life is full of ups and downs, and we can face both with courage and in honesty.

Facts Based Narcissists Lack God's Love

Narcissists are facts based only in their thinking. They cannot evaluate openly. They use half-truths, lies, and secretiveness to hide their true motives. They are childish in their interactions rather than having the ability to delve deeper into any situation to resolve it.

Since resolving a matter to deepen a relationship is not their goal they will fight bitterly to maintain superiority. Because they do not love they don't care about truth they only care about winning.

Everything they think and do is based on their feelings rather than the truth. They do not cooperate in projects and do not see someone else's point of view to learn, which is why they are uncooperative.

They use force and dogma instead of reasoning and thoughtfulness in a discussion with someone. They must win out over anyone they converse with in order to be superior. Sadly too much of their dogma is not based on the Bible but on their desired belief, even when they quote scripture it is out of context and twisted to fit their own manipulations.

They tend to have tantrums when they don't get their own way. Their tantrums come in many forms, sometimes the silent treatment, withholding kindness, and love and encouragement to punish those who will not bow to them.

When a narcissist is not getting their own way they are in attack mode to bring people and circumstances back under their control. They will hate anyone who does not follow their mandates and they never admit they are wrong about anything.

2 Timothy 3 describes them in detail and warns us to avoid them.

2 Timothy 3:1-5

(Ragingly Insane) Difficult Times Will Come

3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.

2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,

3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,

4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,

5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these. "

Removing someone like this from your life is not giving up on them, it is giving them over to God. We cannot influence someone who hates us and fights against the wisdom God has imparted to us through His Word.

All of us should be teachers of the Word as we grow in Christ. No one is exempt from teaching and training as mature believers.

Hebrews 5:12-14

"12 For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you have need again for someone to teach you the elementary principles of the actual words of God, and you have come to need milk and not solid food.

13 For everyone who partakes only of milk is unacquainted with the word of righteousness, for he is an infant.

14 But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to distinguish between good and evil."

We see more infants in the church today than we do seasoned and wise believers. It is because our modern churches are focused on the facts more than the Spirit of the Law which is the closer walk with Christ as we seek Him in all things.

Many narcissists in the church are there to boast about their knowledge but have no interest in Christ cleaning them up to walk more fully with Him. Their focus is self and personal aggrandizement just like the Pharisees who were the religious leaders of their time.

Matthew 23:5-7

"5 And they do all their deeds to be noticed by other people; for they broaden their phylacteries and lengthen the tassels of their garments.

6 And they love the place of honor at banquets, and the seats of honor in the synagogues,

7 and personal greetings in the marketplaces, and being called Rabbi by the people."

Matthew 23:15 "15 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, because you travel around on sea and land to make one proselyte; and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as yourselves."

I know many people who have claimed to lead someone to Christ only to teach them the same superficial ways and false doctrines they practice themselves. Sadly this is the reason the newcomers have the same lackluster religion of those who were able to convince them to become a Christian, to join the Christian club.

If anyone becomes a Christian to be able to fit into a group then they were never born-again. They did not come in repentance, they had not sense of their own sinfulness and they have no commitment to the gospel. They have no interest in the Bible except to pretend as they elevate themselves.

True converts show fruit quickly and genuinely. They do not take on rituals to fit in, they express their own faith without prompting and they grow in holiness and fervor. They are not fake or phony and they never act embarrassed when the name of Jesus Christ is mentioned.

How do we discern the heart of a true believer in Christ? God tells us!

Galatians 5:22-23

"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."

If these things are lacking or phony pretense but not genuine then we know the person is not born-again. Pretenders are not able to keep up the facade, they will break under the slightest pressure or challenge. They often revert back to their old thinking because they were never a new creation in Christ. Everything they did was an act. Some pretenders are very good at acting but none of them can hold up under scrutiny of the Bible.

Keep looking up, the worldly church is becoming more apostate every day and more hostile toward authentically born-again believers.

Believe God When He Tells You What To Do and Do It

If we find a friend continually complaining about us because we don't think the way they do, it is time to remove ourselves from them.

Those who complain about our desire to walk with God, will not stop with their various forms of discouragement, even if only "disapproving grunting sounds" to cause confusion and disconnectedness.

Often the narcissist will say we are complainers when we point out sin and desire for believers to follow Christ. The very people who say we are complainers are those who complain about us.

2 Timothy 4:2-4 "…2 Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and encourage with every form of patient instruction. 3 For the time will come when men will not tolerate sound doctrine, but with itching ears they will gather around themselves teachers to suit their own desires. 4. So they will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.…"

Those who lack all the fruit of the Spirit will judge us as being what they are and we are not. They do this to feel superior.

All of us have work to do as we ask God to change us as He shows us flaws in ourselves. Those who do not believe they have flaws and never admit they need work, will be those who complain about others they think need all the work.

Jude 1:17-19 "17 But you, beloved, remember what was foretold by the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ 18 when they said to you, “In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow after their own ungodly desires.” 19 These are the ones who cause divisions, who are worldly and devoid of the Spirit.…'

There is so much pettiness in the world today and nearly a total lack of love for others that it is impossible to resolve a problem with others. No one wants to sit down and discuss things legitimately without arrogance ruining a discussion.

This is the reason I treasure my authentic believing friends, they want to listen to understand and they want to share their thoughts.

The worldly person doesn't want to listen to understand and they don't share their own thought genuinely without angst in their voices. Discussing matters to resolve them is seen as a personal attack to many because, in their own heart, they are attacking when there is a disagreement. They don't care what anyone else has to say, only that they have theirs and intimidate the hearer into submission to come out on top.

A young woman came to me once because I was avoiding her for the way she was treating me. She came to me saying; "we need to fight about this." I was stunned, her mentality was not concerned about our relationship, she wanted to battle me to win over me. I was her elder, she should have come in humility and love to find out what she may have done to cause me to back away from her. She demonstrated to me that I was right, any attempt on my part to share my grief and concern would have been met with hate and retaliation as it was in her confrontation of me.

This is why God gave us 2 Timothy 3, to warn us that in the last days mentality, we would see often this attitude of confrontation over the silliest matters. Everything is a big deal to those who are selfishly demanding their own way. God gave us permission to avoid these people, they will only destroy our faith as well as ruin our other relationships with gossip against us.

Trust in the Lord is our hope, when we believe His Word and do what it says we can avoid a lot of distasteful communication and rebellious people.

In 2 Timothy 3:5 God tells us to avoid such people. This is hard for lots of people, but for those who love Christ it gets easier when we see we can not resolve anything with a stubborn self-righteous individual. Walking away and giving it to God is our only option.

Authentic Believers Love God's Word and Obey It

A true believer submits to Christ as Lord.

Those who say they know Him but disregard His Word are liars.

We guard as a treasure the commandments of the Lord. (Adrian Rogers)

What are His commandments: Everything God said in HIs Word.

Anyone who picks and chooses what to obey in the Bible is not saved. They are pretenders. We live every day with pretenders who say they believe the Bible but disregard most of what God says in His Word.

Because we know Him we keep His commandments, we are not born again by keeping His commandments, we keep His commandments because we are born again.

1 John 2:3-5 "…3 By this we can be sure that we have come to know Him: if we keep His commandments. 4 If anyone says, “I know Him,” but does not keep His commandments, he is a liar, and the truth is not in him. 5 But if anyone keeps His word, the love of God has been truly perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him:…"

A true believer submits to God, a pretender defends their sin, rejects those who challenge them about it, and even exacts revenge on those who bring the scripture to bear on everything.

A true believer seeks the lifestyle of Jesus. Those who say and do things contrary to the Bible and defend their sinful attitudes have not been born-again.

A true believer loves to hear from the Word of God, they do not fight against Him through fighting against His Word.

Pretenders are pretending about everything, they do not confess their sin to be cleansed and grow in holiness, they justify their rudeness and disobedience to God's Word. They make up their own rules about righteousness that God never said while negating Him through their self-righteousness.

1 John 2:9-11 "…9If anyone claims to be in the light but hates his brother, he is still in the darkness. 10 Whoever loves his brother remains in the light, and there is no cause of stumbling in him. 11 But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness. He does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes."

1 John 1:8

"If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us."

1 John 2:3

"By this we can be sure that we have come to know Him: if we keep His commandments."

1 John 3:6

"No one who remains in Him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has seen Him or known Him."

Matthew 13:21

"21 yet he has no firm root in himself, but is only temporary, and when affliction or persecution occurs because of the [a]word, immediately he falls away."

Those who love Christ authentically because they have been born again have all the fruit of the Spirit.

Galatians 5:22-23

"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."

We don't meet many people who are humble enough to love this way. When we do meet them we connect immediately because even though we are not perfect in these things ourselves we love to grow in holiness. We do not practice unkindness and other attributes contrary to the fruit of Christ's Spirit.

We cannot take credit for this fruit, Christ in us makes us a new creation, what we could not be before salvation He makes us when He changes us into a new creation. He gets all the glory what what we become when we are authentically born again.

Hallelujah!