Isaiah 3:11-13 "…11 Woe to the wicked! It will go badly with him, For what he deserves will be done to him. 12 O My people! Their oppressors are children, And women rule over them. O My people! Those who guide you lead you astray And confuse the direction of your paths. 13 The LORD arises to contend, And stands to judge the people.…"
Think about it, do we not see the children bossing their parents, ruling the household in families these days? I see it a lot where I live.
Sometimes I can hardly stand watching the parents who allow their children to rule the household, dictating terms and executing revenge through tantrums when the parents won't submit to the child immediately.
Just the other day while shopping in a public place, I heard a rebellious toddler screaming as loud as he possibly could to bring the parent to their knees. The response of the parent was to ignore it hoping it would go away on its own. Finally the parent got tired of the tirade and gave the little monster what he wanted, re-enforcing that his tantrum worked and would continue.
This same child will be punching out his parent when he is taller than she. He will use intimidation and manipulation to keep the parent under his control. This woman is looking at a very hellish teen years, but even worse than that a hellish elderly stint when she can no longer give the child everything he wants, he will be discarding and even abusing his mother because she is inconvenient to him. Just saying!!!
Proverbs 19:26-27 "26 He who assaults his father and drives his mother away Is a shameful and disgraceful son. 27 Cease listening, my son, to discipline, And you will stray from the words of knowledge.…"
The problem I see in this culture is the resistance of the parents to do the necessary discipline God's way. What is God's way?
Proverbs 13:24
"Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him."
A parent who does not discipline properly only loves themselves. It is unpleasant to many parents to have to discipline a child. I didn't think of it that way, because I saw it as nothing more than any other task in the household. You have to clean the bathroom, cook the food and spank the child, that's just life, why have any bad feelings about it, unless one has been brainwashed that it is mean to spank.
Hebrews 12:11
"For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."
If we let the bathroom commode become filthy over the course of several years, it may not be able to be clean ever again no matter how much scrubbing one does. That commode would not only be filthy but smelly too. It is an unpleasant job, but necessary, we don't "feel" anything about it, we just do it to maintain the standard of the household.
The same is true with the child, if a parent neglects the disciplining of the child long enough, soon that child will be so arrogant and rebellious that nothing will work with him anymore.
After this neglect has occurred over many years, then the child will have to be trained by God, the harsher way, through many life failures. In my estimation it is better to do it God's way and actually be able to enjoy the teen years with your children.
There is no guarantee that a child will become godly because we obeyed God, but there is a better chance and our conscience is free from regret when we know we did it God's way.
The narcissist does not show respect to anyone who will not elevate them as special.
Narcissists have a need for others to be bad so they can feel good.
When it is important to someone to be special or above others, we are watching an excessive pride that can never admit anything needs work in themselves, this is why they never grow emotionally or spiritually.
Secure and mature human beings are able to easily say, "wow that was a dumb thing I did", in reference to their own missteps.
It is only when we can laugh at ourselves while freely admitting mistakes that we can grow in all areas of our life.
This is why flattery is so dangerous, not to mention inauthentic. It praises the ego in a person removing the desire for the person being flattered, to improve themselves. This is why we have so many people today who cannot tolerate correction, they are not used to admitting their own failures. Their life experience has been one of continual praise and personal glory, as the kids say, "just to encourage them."
The culture has lost the meaning of encouragement. They use that word in place of praise. They are not encouraging people to work harder or improve, they are simply praising them for doing something at all, no matter how inferior the work may be, just doing it brings adulation (excessive praise).
Encouragement is the act of showing the right direction and helping to walk in it. I might be encouraging my children in their homework by instructing them to do it right and turn it in on time. This encouragement produces productivity and excellence.
Praise has little value, even causing laziness in the one who is praised. If a child is praised for tying his shoe, even if it is messy, then he will feel no need to become excellent in the execution of the task. Praise is nothing more than flattery.
Proverbs 29:5
"A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet."
Flattery keeps the person it is directed at, satisfied with shoddy workmanship. It is a stumbling block to productivity. Even worse is flattery about our appearance diverts the attention of our friends from important things to the superficial.
Encouragement to the child in the shoe tying might be when we see that it is messy, we would tell him he needs to try again for it to be tidier. This is conveying to the child that we know they can do the job well, it just takes practice. When we praise when something is not done well, then we are sending the message that we don't think they are capable of anything better so we just give up on them and let them be sloppy. And, I do believe children can see lazy flattery to gain the love of the child, it creates anger in them.
One of the ways we were taught in school when I was a child, in this matter of excellence, was in penmanship. We had to practice and receive a grade in penmanship class, but not only in that class, every paper was evaluated in terms of our penmanship, even in math. If the teacher could not read our writing then we had points removed for poor penmanship. That's why we not only worked hard to develop every subject, we also took note of our penmanship in order to receive a good grade.
For those who are young enough that they don't know the meaning of the word "penmanship", here is the definition; "the art or skill of writing by hand." Everything in elementary school, after second grace and into high school was done in long hand, that is cursive. When someone has learned cursive proficiently they can write much faster than those who print their letters individually, not to mention the beauty of the art of cursive writing.
For those of you who were not trained in cursive writing, here is that definition; "rapid handwriting in which letters are set down in full and are cursively connected within words without lifting the writing implement from the paper."
Teaching cursive and penmanship in school develops a sense of discipline and excellence that is missing from the lives of many young people today. Having to practice at something until it is beautiful will develop a mentality of working that hard at everything we do. It is more than a beautiful way of writing, it is a mindset of excellence that becomes a habit in every area of our lives.
When we expect excellence in the work of our children, we train them to focus on the task and not on themselves. When we are excessively focused on self we will do things for the easy praise rather than the creation that is excellent.
Everything becomes about a product well made or a job well done when our mind is on the work. When this is the goal, then the very good feeling of a job well done is enough, we don't even need the notice of others, we are satisfied in the work itself.
Colossians 3:23
"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,"
The more we obey and please God, the less we need the praise of men to carry on in our walk with the Lord. Our lives are about the Lord and the job we have to do, not whether men will like us.
Proverbs 2:1-5
1 My son, if you will receive my words
And treasure my commandments within you,
2 Make your ear attentive to wisdom,
Incline your heart to understanding;
3 For if you cry for discernment,
Lift your voice for understanding;
4 If you seek her as silver
And search for her as for hidden treasures;
5 Then you will discern the fear of the Lord
And discover the knowledge of God.
Notice that wisdom is likened to a woman, ships are named after women, cities are referred to as "she." I find this interesting that women who walk in truth are valued for their wisdom. And, the men protect the cities, the ships and the women, they are highly valued as his helpers. Not that women are objects, but that they are so valued by God and godly men that they are protected as treasures.
A woman has the ability to destroy a man or help him to be successful in all that he does. Women who will not see her husband and children as their primary ministry, will seek self expression that has the potential of destroying families.
Proverbs 31: 11-12 An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
Believing men and woman alike must pursue wisdom to be able to operate in God's principles. Without wisdom the world will influence the actions and reactions of those who are not equipped to refute what they see and hear coming from the world.
Today we see many people in the church who know these words in Proverbs but are unaffected by them because they interpret what they read in terms of the world's wisdom. We can only understand the Words of the Bible if we are willing to obey them. Knowing gets us nothing and does not impress God, even the devil knows all this. God is only blessed when we seek His Word to obey Him, to know Him and to love Him.
Proverbs 1: 6-22
6 For the Lord gives wisdom;
From His mouth come knowledge and understanding.
7 He stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
He is a shield to those who walk in integrity,
8 Guarding the paths of justice,
And He preserves the way of His godly ones.
9 Then you will discern righteousness and justice
And equity and every good course.
10 For wisdom will enter your heart
And knowledge will be pleasant to your soul;
11 Discretion will guard you,
Understanding will watch over you,
12 To deliver you from the way of evil,
From the man who speaks perverse things;
13 From those who leave the paths of uprightness
To walk in the ways of darkness;
14 Who delight in doing evil
And rejoice in the perversity of evil;
15 Whose paths are crooked,
And who are devious in their ways;
16 To deliver you from the strange woman,
From the adulteress who flatters with her words;
17 That leaves the companion of her youth
And forgets the covenant of her God;
18 For her house sinks down to death
And her tracks lead to the dead;
19 None who go to her return again,
Nor do they reach the paths of life.
20 So you will walk in the way of good men
And keep to the paths of the righteous.
21 For the upright will live in the land
And the blameless will remain in it;
22 But the wicked will be cut off from the land
And the treacherous will be uprooted from it.
Matthew 22:36-40
36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” 37 And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the great and foremost commandment. 39 The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.”
If we love God will all our heart we will obey Him. If we love people secondly we will be more concerned about whether or not they are born again and following Christ than we are about their "emotions" or "momentary feelings."
Our feelings get hurt when we are corrected, it is human nature, that's the pride that dwells in the human heart. Once we get past the feelings of hurt from being corrected, then we can move on to rational thinking that leads us to see the needed changes in our heart.
The more we grow in holiness and righteousness, the more joyful we are and the more productive for the Lord.
