Narcissism is growing because 2 Timothy 3 is being fulfilled in front of our eyes.
2 Timothy 3:2-5 says;
"But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come:
3:2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
3:3 unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good,
3:4 t
raitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
3:5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!"
What are the characteristics of people described in the 2 Timothy passage? In our modern day these people are referred to as "Narcissists."
Narcissists are people who have little concern if any for anyone but themselves.
1. Selfishness, without regard to the needs or desires of others. All their decisions are made on the basis of their own whims.
2. No remorse for abuse, outbursts or mistakes or misdeeds. Ever.
3. Unreliable, undependable, does not finish projects for others and often proud of it as though it is a manipulative tactic to control the victim.
4. Cares not about the consequences, but when challenged about their attitude they become angry.
5. Projects their faults on others, attempting to make their own bad behavior or mistakes someone else's fault.
6. Little if any conscience for harming or inconveniencing others.
7. Insensitive to the needs of others especially those who are closest to them. Make snap decisions that they demand be carried out immediately.
8. Vengeful when confronted with their sinful behavior.
9. Isolates his victims, who depend on him, from others, to be able to control them.
10. Easily angered and tendency to rage when someone disagrees with them or exposes them.
11. Humiliates those he hates in public and in subtle ways that are hard to detect for onlookers but are obvious to the victim.
12. Manipulates others through intimidation in order to get their own needs and desires met.
13. Twists conversations and elevates voice to intimidate and control others in the conversation and to elevate self.
14. Pathological lying, often by omission and are secretive.
15. Must control situations, conversations and others in their path.
16. Has only superficial values, situational ethics and is enraged when confronted to change.
17. Uses superficial and phony caring and understanding to control others.
18. Sets people up to fail, by negating everything they do.
19. Jumps to conclusions about matters refusing to discuss them.
20. Laughs at the pratfalls of others, but has no sense of humor otherwise.
21. The only real emotion he/she is likely to display is anger, relatively emotionless.
22. Never expresses sorrow or shame for anything they do.
23. Controls money, and makes decisions apart from their spouse.
24. Buys big items for themselves, but rages when others buy little things.
25. Controls the comings and goings of spouse, forbids travel without permission.
26. Contradictory, makes no sense when in an argument because winning is more important than truth.
27. Does not discuss openly his hidden agenda.
28. Has no personality, because hiding causes us to be so outwardly controlled that every part of us is hidden. This person is burdened continually with never being discovered.
29. Kind only if this person is getting what they want.
30. Does not forgive others, and even uses vengeful acts to dig at their target. Some of these acts are very subtle.
31. If trapped in a conversation, this person will talk so fast and so long that no one else can be a part of the conversation.
32. Shows little interest in what the other person is saying, is always in defense stance to win. Interrupts a lot and is angry if someone else does to be a part of the conversation.
33. Enjoys annoying others.
34. Ignoring special days and expected kindnesses as a subtle way of revenge for perceived wrongs done to them, will not talk about it, nor listen if confronted.
35. Hatred toward the target is continual but subtle, to unnerve the victim. If the victim is strong enough and educated enough to ignore the attacks, then the narcissist retreats and isolates himself and his family from the target.
36. Begins projects and often does not finish them, mostly to irritate those who would like them finished, or out of lack of concern for others.
37. Has no compassion for those who are ill.
38. Seldom expresses appreciation for others or encouragement for their efforts, but expects it for himself.
We have all known people like this, often they tend to be runners, because they burn out their victims, when the victims catch on and take control of their own lives, then the narcissist runs.
I have been meeting more and more of these kind of people, many more in the 40 something crowd, than in the "great generation" of World War II.
I am convinced that this condition was precipitated by the teaching of self esteem and by divorce and remarriage, often the people suffering from this had no fathers in the home and they have had little instruction or discipline as children. They were left to themselves, so that the only person they were responsible for was themselves.
This is also the reason they are not teachable and are such a frustration to those who have to live with them.
How do we deal with these people? We do not allow them to control us by their tactics simply by ignoring them. When they have a tantrum, we simply do not respond to the silliness and continue to tell the truth. Never get angry with a narcissist, this only fuels them, making them believe they have won.
If someone like this continually acts out, and they are not a spouse, then we must get away from them. If this person is a spouse, then the best thing to do is stay in constant prayer.
One of the tactics of these people is to attempt to make their victim feel guilty continually. If they can keep their victim in a state of sadness or feeling guilty then their tactics work and they will keep doing it.
In prayer evaluate your own actions, if there is no reason to be guilty then dismiss it as false guilt. Soon you will be able to identify easily the manipulation and tactics of the narcissist and they will modify their behavior if they see it is not working. Their biggest weapon, is keeping their victim continually frustrated, angry, depressed and feeling helpless.
Do not be helpless, you have the Lord, and if you are not guilty of anything and know it, then the narcissist has no power over you.
Be honest, if you are guilty confess it to the narcissist and do not allow him to continually use your confessed sin to control you. Simply state calmly that he said he forgave you and you know God has too and with a smile on your face, get on with your life.
Manipulators and narcissists count on your mental condition to be in a miserable state, when they see they cannot control you this way, they will quit or leave.
I write about this because narcissism is increasing and to be educated on the subject, will empower those who have to endure the foolishness of a narcissist.
Married people do not have to divorce over this, they can become strong and even have a peaceful marriage even if the narcissist never changes. God is in control of our hearts, and what goes on in our hearts is more important than what anyone will do to us.
Psalm 46:1 "To the Chief Musician. [A Psalm] of the sons of Korah. A Song for Alamoth. God [is] our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble."
Stay close to God, a narcissist can cripple us in our walk and even ruin our witness by their attitudes and actions. We must not allow evil men to control our walk with the Lord.
John 3:19 ""And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil."
Romans 12:17 "Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men."
Be strong and bold, but never violate God's Word in the doing.
Titus 3:2 "to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men."
Luke 6:22 "Blessed are you when men hate you, And when they exclude you, And revile [you], and cast out your name as evil, For the Son of Man's sake."
Romans 8:39 "nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
God did give us permission in 2 Timothy 3, to keep these people out of our lives unless they are family members living in the same household, then we will need more prayer and strength from the Holy Spirit.
Pray for them!!!!
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Narcissism Is Growing
Narcissism is growing because 2 Timothy 3 is being fulfilled in front of our eyes.
2 Timothy 3:2-5 says;
"But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come:
3:2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
3:3 unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good,
3:4 traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
3:5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!"
What are the characteristics of people described in the 2 Timothy passage? In our modern day these people are referred to as "Narcissists."
Narcissists are people who have little concern if any for anyone but themselves.
1. Selfishness, without regard to the needs or desires of others. All their decisions are made on the basis of their own whims.
2. No remorse for abuse, outbursts or mistakes or misdeeds. Ever.
3. Unreliable, undependable, does not finish projects for others and often proud of it as though it is a manipulative tactic to control the victim.
4. Cares not about the consequences, but when challenged about their attitude they become angry.
5. Projects their faults on others, attempting to make their own bad behavior or mistakes someone else's fault.
6. Little if any conscience for harming or inconveniencing others.
7. Insensitive to the needs of others especially those who are closest to them. Make snap decisions that they demand be carried out immediately.
8. Vengeful when confronted with their sinful behavior.
9. Isolates his victims, who depend on him, from others, to be able to control them.
10. Easily angered and tendency to rage when someone disagrees with them or exposes them.
11. Humiliates those he hates in public and in subtle ways that are hard to detect for onlookers but are obvious to the victim.
12. Manipulates others through intimidation in order to get their own needs and desires met.
13. Twists conversations and elevates voice to intimidate and control others in the conversation and to elevate self.
14. Pathological lying, often by omission and are secretive.
15. Must control situations, conversations and others in their path.
16. Has only superficial values, situational ethics and is enraged when confronted to change.
17. Uses superficial and phony caring and understanding to control others.
18. Sets people up to fail, by negating everything they do.
19. Jumps to conclusions about matters refusing to discuss them.
20. Laughs at the pratfalls of others, but has no sense of humor otherwise.
21. The only real emotion he/she is likely to display is anger, relatively emotionless.
22. Never expresses sorrow or shame for anything they do.
23. Controls money, and makes decisions apart from their spouse.
24. Buys big items for themselves, but rages when others buy little things.
25. Controls the comings and goings of spouse, forbids travel without permission.
26. Contradictory, makes no sense when in an argument because winning is more important than truth.
27. Does not discuss openly his hidden agenda.
28. Has no personality, because hiding causes us to be so outwardly controlled that every part of us is hidden. This person is burdened continually with never being discovered.
29. Kind only if this person is getting what they want.
30. Does not forgive others, and even uses vengeful acts to dig at their target. Some of these acts are very subtle.
31. If trapped in a conversation, this person will talk so fast and so long that no one else can be a part of the conversation.
32. Shows little interest in what the other person is saying, is always in defense stance to win. Interrupts a lot and is angry if someone else does to be a part of the conversation.
33. Enjoys annoying others.
34. Ignoring special days and expected kindnesses as a subtle way of revenge for perceived wrongs done to them, will not talk about it, nor listen if confronted.
35. Hatred toward the target is continual but subtle, to unnerve the victim. If the victim is strong enough and educated enough to ignore the attacks, then the narcissist retreats and isolates himself and his family from the target.
36. Begins projects and often does not finish them, mostly to irritate those who would like them finished, or out of lack of concern for others.
37. Has no compassion for those who are ill.
38. Seldom expresses appreciation for others or encouragement for their efforts, but expects it for himself.
We have all known people like this, often they tend to be runners, because they burn out their victims, when the victims catch on and take control of their own lives, then the narcissist runs.
I have been meeting more and more of these kind of people, many more in the 40 something crowd, than in the "great generation" of World War II.
I am convinced that this condition was precipitated by the teaching of self esteem and by divorce and remarriage, often the people suffering from this had no fathers in the home and they have had little instruction or discipline as children. They were left to themselves, so that the only person they were responsible for was themselves.
This is also the reason they are not teachable and are such a frustration to those who have to live with them.
How do we deal with these people? We do not allow them to control us by their tactics simply by ignoring them. When they have a tantrum, we simply do not respond to the silliness and continue to tell the truth. Never get angry with a narcissist, this only fuels them, making them believe they have won.
If someone like this continually acts out, and they are not a spouse, then we must get away from them. If this person is a spouse, then the best thing to do is stay in constant prayer.
One of the tactics of these people is to attempt to make their victim feel guilty continually. If they can keep their victim in a state of sadness or feeling guilty then their tactics work and they will keep doing it.
In prayer evaluate your own actions, if there is no reason to be guilty then dismiss it as false guilt. Soon you will be able to identify easily the manipulation and tactics of the narcissist and they will modify their behavior if they see it is not working. Their biggest weapon, is keeping their victim continually frustrated, angry, depressed and feeling helpless.
Do not be helpless, you have the Lord, and if you are not guilty of anything and know it, then the narcissist has no power over you.
Be honest, if you are guilty confess it to the narcissist and do not allow him to continually use your confessed sin to control you. Simply state calmly that he said he forgave you and you know God has too and with a smile on your face, get on with your life.
Manipulators and narcissists count on your mental condition to be in a miserable state, when they see they cannot control you this way, they will quit or leave.
I write about this because narcissism is increasing and to be educated on the subject, will empower those who have to endure the foolishness of a narcissist.
Married people do not have to divorce over this, they can become strong and even have a peaceful marriage even if the narcissist never changes. God is in control of our hearts, and what goes on in our hearts is more important than what anyone will do to us.
Psalm 46:1 "To the Chief Musician. [A Psalm] of the sons of Korah. A Song for Alamoth. God [is] our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble."
Stay close to God, a narcissist can cripple us in our walk and even ruin our witness by their attitudes and actions. We must not allow evil men to control our walk with the Lord.
John 3:19 ""And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil."
Romans 12:17 "Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men."
Be strong and bold, but never violate God's Word in the doing.
Titus 3:2 "to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men."
Luke 6:22 "Blessed are you when men hate you, And when they exclude you, And revile [you], and cast out your name as evil, For the Son of Man's sake."
Romans 8:39 "nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
God did give us permission in 2 Timothy 3, to keep these people out of our lives unless they are family members living in the same household, then we will need more prayer and strength from the Holy Spirit.
Pray for them!!!!
2 Timothy 3:2-5 says;
"But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come:
3:2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
3:3 unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good,
3:4 traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
3:5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!"
What are the characteristics of people described in the 2 Timothy passage? In our modern day these people are referred to as "Narcissists."
Narcissists are people who have little concern if any for anyone but themselves.
1. Selfishness, without regard to the needs or desires of others. All their decisions are made on the basis of their own whims.
2. No remorse for abuse, outbursts or mistakes or misdeeds. Ever.
3. Unreliable, undependable, does not finish projects for others and often proud of it as though it is a manipulative tactic to control the victim.
4. Cares not about the consequences, but when challenged about their attitude they become angry.
5. Projects their faults on others, attempting to make their own bad behavior or mistakes someone else's fault.
6. Little if any conscience for harming or inconveniencing others.
7. Insensitive to the needs of others especially those who are closest to them. Make snap decisions that they demand be carried out immediately.
8. Vengeful when confronted with their sinful behavior.
9. Isolates his victims, who depend on him, from others, to be able to control them.
10. Easily angered and tendency to rage when someone disagrees with them or exposes them.
11. Humiliates those he hates in public and in subtle ways that are hard to detect for onlookers but are obvious to the victim.
12. Manipulates others through intimidation in order to get their own needs and desires met.
13. Twists conversations and elevates voice to intimidate and control others in the conversation and to elevate self.
14. Pathological lying, often by omission and are secretive.
15. Must control situations, conversations and others in their path.
16. Has only superficial values, situational ethics and is enraged when confronted to change.
17. Uses superficial and phony caring and understanding to control others.
18. Sets people up to fail, by negating everything they do.
19. Jumps to conclusions about matters refusing to discuss them.
20. Laughs at the pratfalls of others, but has no sense of humor otherwise.
21. The only real emotion he/she is likely to display is anger, relatively emotionless.
22. Never expresses sorrow or shame for anything they do.
23. Controls money, and makes decisions apart from their spouse.
24. Buys big items for themselves, but rages when others buy little things.
25. Controls the comings and goings of spouse, forbids travel without permission.
26. Contradictory, makes no sense when in an argument because winning is more important than truth.
27. Does not discuss openly his hidden agenda.
28. Has no personality, because hiding causes us to be so outwardly controlled that every part of us is hidden. This person is burdened continually with never being discovered.
29. Kind only if this person is getting what they want.
30. Does not forgive others, and even uses vengeful acts to dig at their target. Some of these acts are very subtle.
31. If trapped in a conversation, this person will talk so fast and so long that no one else can be a part of the conversation.
32. Shows little interest in what the other person is saying, is always in defense stance to win. Interrupts a lot and is angry if someone else does to be a part of the conversation.
33. Enjoys annoying others.
34. Ignoring special days and expected kindnesses as a subtle way of revenge for perceived wrongs done to them, will not talk about it, nor listen if confronted.
35. Hatred toward the target is continual but subtle, to unnerve the victim. If the victim is strong enough and educated enough to ignore the attacks, then the narcissist retreats and isolates himself and his family from the target.
36. Begins projects and often does not finish them, mostly to irritate those who would like them finished, or out of lack of concern for others.
37. Has no compassion for those who are ill.
38. Seldom expresses appreciation for others or encouragement for their efforts, but expects it for himself.
We have all known people like this, often they tend to be runners, because they burn out their victims, when the victims catch on and take control of their own lives, then the narcissist runs.
I have been meeting more and more of these kind of people, many more in the 40 something crowd, than in the "great generation" of World War II.
I am convinced that this condition was precipitated by the teaching of self esteem and by divorce and remarriage, often the people suffering from this had no fathers in the home and they have had little instruction or discipline as children. They were left to themselves, so that the only person they were responsible for was themselves.
This is also the reason they are not teachable and are such a frustration to those who have to live with them.
How do we deal with these people? We do not allow them to control us by their tactics simply by ignoring them. When they have a tantrum, we simply do not respond to the silliness and continue to tell the truth. Never get angry with a narcissist, this only fuels them, making them believe they have won.
If someone like this continually acts out, and they are not a spouse, then we must get away from them. If this person is a spouse, then the best thing to do is stay in constant prayer.
One of the tactics of these people is to attempt to make their victim feel guilty continually. If they can keep their victim in a state of sadness or feeling guilty then their tactics work and they will keep doing it.
In prayer evaluate your own actions, if there is no reason to be guilty then dismiss it as false guilt. Soon you will be able to identify easily the manipulation and tactics of the narcissist and they will modify their behavior if they see it is not working. Their biggest weapon, is keeping their victim continually frustrated, angry, depressed and feeling helpless.
Do not be helpless, you have the Lord, and if you are not guilty of anything and know it, then the narcissist has no power over you.
Be honest, if you are guilty confess it to the narcissist and do not allow him to continually use your confessed sin to control you. Simply state calmly that he said he forgave you and you know God has too and with a smile on your face, get on with your life.
Manipulators and narcissists count on your mental condition to be in a miserable state, when they see they cannot control you this way, they will quit or leave.
I write about this because narcissism is increasing and to be educated on the subject, will empower those who have to endure the foolishness of a narcissist.
Married people do not have to divorce over this, they can become strong and even have a peaceful marriage even if the narcissist never changes. God is in control of our hearts, and what goes on in our hearts is more important than what anyone will do to us.
Psalm 46:1 "To the Chief Musician. [A Psalm] of the sons of Korah. A Song for Alamoth. God [is] our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble."
Stay close to God, a narcissist can cripple us in our walk and even ruin our witness by their attitudes and actions. We must not allow evil men to control our walk with the Lord.
John 3:19 ""And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil."
Romans 12:17 "Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men."
Be strong and bold, but never violate God's Word in the doing.
Titus 3:2 "to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men."
Luke 6:22 "Blessed are you when men hate you, And when they exclude you, And revile [you], and cast out your name as evil, For the Son of Man's sake."
Romans 8:39 "nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
God did give us permission in 2 Timothy 3, to keep these people out of our lives unless they are family members living in the same household, then we will need more prayer and strength from the Holy Spirit.
Pray for them!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)