I was once told by a friend that my husband and I were causing division in the church by leaving it, as though once you attend that gathering, they own you. My response was that those who cause division are those who bring in false doctrine, not the ones who leave because the false teachers will not correct their error.
I laughed when I heard it because I thought it was a joke.
No one is bound to any church gathering or owned by any pastor. We are each autonomous in our walk with Christ and are free to meet with whomever we please at any time we please.
When we are born-again, it is Christ Whom we follow, not any man and not any particular gathering.
Nowhere in scripture is there a description of formal membership in any one group of people.
It is my opinion based on may years of walking with Christ that remaining in one gathering all your life with certain people to act as authority figures over the gathering, will diminish your walk and retard your Spiritual and emotional growth.
Gatherings that have no contact with anyone outside their own group tend to establish rules and standards to keep people from outside influences, rather than encouraging interactions with other believers outside that clique.
There may be some people who never want to go anywhere but the place they are familiar with, and this is alright as long as it is led by the Holy Spirit.
There are those who would be an asset to many if they move around as they bring a fresh perspective to other groups. The wonderful thing about being born again is that we are not dominated by human rules and decisions. All our marching orders come from the Holy Spirit. No person will know what God is calling us personally to, unless they too are being led and support the decision of those who have heard from God.
John 16:13: "The Holy Spirit, the Spirit of truth, will guide believers into all truth."
Romans 8:14 says, "For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God".
Galatians 5:18 "But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law".
Man's rules and ideas can be good suggestions at times but they are not obligatory rules for a person led by the Holy Spirit.
We can know God's will for us from reading His word. His principles guide us as His Holy Spirit gives us the specifics about them.
For example, we must teach women to dress modestly and leave the conviction of the Holy Spirit on their hearts as to what that looks like. Making rules about clothing is not proper, but using the principles from the Word of God while encouraging someone to seek Christ in their clothing is appropriate.
If a leader has made a rule about clothing and someone follows it because of intimidation and fear, all the leader managed to do was cause obedience to him. But if a leader brings the scriptures to bear and leaves the decision to the person and that person changes because the Holy Spirit convicted them, there is a greater good, obedience to the Holy Spirit counts, obedience to the man does not change the heart, it only changes outer actions while the heart remains the same.
Our hope is that the Holy Spirit will lead in each heart for the Spiritual permanent change, not a superficial change to please men.
When the change was to please men, but the heart remains the same, all that has happened is the rebellious heart remains unchanged, but with an outer appearance that fools others.
Those who seek the Holy Spirit will obey Him because of their desire to please God. Those who make outward changes to please men are pretenders.
Galatians 5:16: "So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh"
Forcing others to follow man's rules, no matter how good, does not change their heart. Leading them to Christ will change their heart.
