1 Corinthians 13:4
"4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." We cannot give love when we do not possess it through the Holy Spirit .
Those who withhold love are not really withholding it, they just don't have it, because if they had it they would not want to withhold it.
It is common for narcissists to manipulate using showing kindness and withdrawing it when they don't get what they want. It's why so many young women give intimacy to the men they are dating hoping they will gain the love of those men by engaging in physical immoral activity.
Any man who expects physical intimacy in order to hang onto him, is a devil and should be removed. A man who loves God's way would never ask or pressure a woman to give herself outside of marriage.
So many couples are living together outside of marriage thinking they are "in love", but the truth is there is no love when something so precious and God-given is taken from someone without any commitments or self-sacrifice.
If a man will not refrain from pressuring a woman he is only thinking about himself. He does not care about the well-being of the woman he treats disrespectfully through his pressure.
Women are the weaker vessel and will often give in to a man who pressures to feel close to him, all the while, without realizing it she has an internal code that senses she is being used.
There might be those who would say its the woman who pressures the man, but I don't believe this. Women are looking for an emotional connection and the man is looking for sex. He does not have to emotionally connect with a woman to get what he wants.
We live in a culture that disrespects the sensibilities natural to a woman. It teaches her to do whatever comes naturally without any restraints, what they don't realize is that the woman is the most harmed by this "free love", which isn't love at all, its what I call "malicious user", using someone to get temporary SELF-gratification without any connections to the woman's heart.
Prostitution is when a woman gives her body to a stranger for money. There is another form of prostitution that is for a woman to give her body without marital commitment for no money at all.
Living together outside of marriage is not love, it is a form of hatred, declaring the idea that "I don't love you, so to have me you must prostitute yourself." This kind of degrading love destroys relationships and likely will cause a devastating split in the future.
There are many single women today who raising children alone because one of the partners decided they were tired of the struggle of cohabitation without real love. Physical intimacy can only go so far and fades with boredom when there is no real love.
Satan has deceived many people into moving in together to "give it a try" not realizing there is no real love involved.
Any person who advocates moving in together without marriage is not going to experience God's love, the kind that sticks with you in all matters of life.
If a couple is not willing to die for one another, not just in words but over a lifetime, then there is no love. Christ died for the world to save them, so should we die to ourselves for another person. Shack-up couples are not dying to self, they are living for themselves above everyone else.
Those who use one another outside of marriage have no regard for the children who are created from this loveless shack-up. The children are destroyed by the sense of that lack of love, they can feel it, even if they don't know what it is they feel.
When love is absent, there can be friendliness occasionally, happy times and fun, but even in the midst of those times there is no love.
John 3:34 " “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: Just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.”"
John 3:18 "18Little children, let us love not in word and speech, but in action and truth. "
One might say "but I show love every day in the things I do for you." This is not the love of the Bible, doing things must be immersed in truth. Doing things for others that glorify self are not true acts of love, it is manipulation to gain something for self.
John 17:19
"For them I sanctify Myself, so that they too may be sanctified by the truth."
Caring for someone authentically is more than just doing things to help them physically, it is Spiritually and empathetically engaging with them to emotionally support them.
Just "getting the job done" in deeds does not satisfy God nor does it emotionally support someone.
Romans 12:9
"9 Love must be free of hypocrisy. Detest what is evil; cling to what is good."