Empathy is a gift, we hurt with others, not because we understand their situation, but because we understand their pain from our own situations. Circumstances are different, but the pain is the same.
Romans 12:15 "Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep."
When we love Christ, because we love Him, we love the brethren, then we feel what they feel. We don't have to work up these feelings, they are natural to anyone who walks closely with our Lord.
1 John 3:14 "We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love abides in death."
Those who have empathy and love, share deeply in the plight of their brothers and sisters in Christ.
When our brother or sister is rejoicing over a blessing, we feel that joy too. If there is any envy, then we need to go back to God and confess our sin of pride and jealousy to begin to love our brother or sister in the Lord.
When we encounter someone who lacks empathy when someone is hurting or demonstrates jealousy when someone is blessed, we may be looking at an unsaved person. Believers will have battles with this, but a non-believer will embrace it, enjoy it and live a lifestyle of these ungodly attitudes.
I remember the story of Job and his friends. Even though his friends came to the wrong conclusion that Job must be going through his difficulty because of sin, they were deeply grieving with him. They sat with him for days, silently enduring with him before they spoke. Their desire was to help him anyway they could.
A friend cares about everything in our lives as we care about everything in their lives. The Christian life is one of a family, each person concerned about one another. There is no privacy or individualism among Christian brothers and sisters. We do have to be careful who we share things with, because many who say they are Christians are not and will harm us further by their ugly responses. It is best to share only with those who have had proven lifestyle of kindness and empathy.
When we have love, we respect the convictions of our friend, we don't try to mold them to fit our desired idea of them. When our friend is not sinning, but does things differently from us, we can enjoy those differences, love them just the way they are and even see that the differences enhance the friendship.
Since we know that no one is perfect, that includes each of us, we can be tolerant of the irritating things that are not sin, even finding a sense of humor in them.
A friend who loves God's way will not judge someone by how clean their house is, or whether or not they wear the latest styles. When we are connected to the soul of another human being we don't notice their house, unless it is extreme, nor do we notice cloths unless they are extreme. We are looking into their heart, a heart that loves the Lord.
Sadly there are those who judge every little thing, much of the judgments are wrong because they are watching to see what they can dislike about us. All their judgements are based on what they want to believe about us rather than what is true and often very little information. They will not speak to us to work anything out or learn truth, they love their wrong idea of us.
These people cannot be trusted, they will twist things into their desired idea to elevate themselves, even repeating their "findings" to others to ruin relationships. 2 Timothy 3:1-5 describes these people and God instructs us to get away from them, they are dangerous to our walk with God.
I know what a godly loving person looks like and I know what a pretender looks like. Have you been confused by all the nonsense drama around you, in families and even in the church? I can tell you that these drama queens do what they do because they do not know the Lord.
Those who love the Lord, have been changed into a new creation by Christ and seek Him for daily life, are those who have empathy, kindness and goodness. They are not perfect, they even have to confess sin on occasion, but they live a lifestyle of love, kindness, joy and empathy regularly. You will find no phoniness in them, they are genuine!
Galatians 5:16-26
"16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.
19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
26 Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another."
If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, then it's probably a duck!
