There are no qualifiers here as to how difficult a marriage can be to allow for divorce, there is simply no allowance. When God glues two people together with the Spiritual glue the only thing that separates them is death.
The words "one flesh", denote a gluing together that cannot be severed by man, its spiritual and permanent until death.
Keep in mind that when we choose a spouse we have promised in the wedding vows to stay by them in sickness and in health, no matter what happens. This promise is serious to God.
Sadly it is not serious for most Americans today. I have been called many things and rejected many times for simply standing for God's standard on marriage. Its not just a standard, its a physical and spiritual oneness that only God can sever by death.
One can come up with ever excuse possible to get away from a difficult situation, but God has no excuses. If you think you cannot forgive or forebear for a wayward spouse then you would have to say Christ was a fool for dying for us while we were still sinners.
Adultery is not the unforgivable sin. I have known people who remained single after their spouse left them to eventually experience the blessing of reconciliation after years of praying and fasting. To bail out of marriage because its tough shows lack of faith and is a form of hatred. When we love someone we are willing to die to self to be able to be true to God. It takes faith to remain loyal to God when our spouse is not acting right.
Malachi 2:16
“For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”
Mark 10:11-12
11 And He *said to them, “Whoever [a]divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; 12 and if she herself [b]divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.”
Luke 16:18
18 “Everyone who [a]divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries one who is [b]divorced from a husband commits adultery.
1 Corinthians 7:10-11
10 But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not [a]leave her husband 11 (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not [b]divorce his wife."
Adultery is serious, that's why it takes serious prayer and trust that Christ will get one through. Some spouses never return after leaving but the born again believer can remain alone, its possible to live a full and joyful life without a spouse. Those who love Christ more than they love their own life can do this with God's help.
Monday, March 25, 2019
Throwing People Away Because They are Inconvenient
Once again I have been blocked and rejected for telling the truth about divorce and remarriage. It is amazing to me that this topic is such a hot topic among "Christian."
If there is nothing wrong with divorce and remarriage then why do people become so angry over a higher standard for marriage.
I don't believe we had fewer problems in marriage 50 years ago. What we had was a resolve to remain married no matter what. We worked out problems over time because we knew there was no out for us. Today the young people are bailing out of marriage when it is the slightest uncomfortable, often for no other reason than they just want another partner.
Whatever happened to loving someone through the hard times. Whatever happened to praying and fasting for the reconciliation of a spouse who has gone wayward? The self esteem teaching has managed to make everyone less tolerant of hardships in order to work through them.
This culture shouts tolerance all over the place but it means nothing. They want it for themselves but don't want to endure for anyone else.
If someone said to me "it is better to buy a brand new car to avoid the problems with an old one, would that make anyone "angry?" No, there would be a calm discussion about it.
I suggest that people get angry when they are convicted of sin. They want to appear spiritual and righteous but are not willing to obey God.
No one gets angry at the suggestion that someone get off drugs or alcohol. No one gets angry at the suggestion that we should be more careful about the food we eat. Why then if divorce and remarriage is just as benign, they would be so angry at the suggestion that it is better not divorce and remarry?
Our culture to some degree knows that divorce and remarriage is sin or they would not become so hostile when we suggest that one should avoid it all together.
God was very clear about this sin that has run rampant in the culture. AND, that is not bad enough it has run rampant through the church. All those people who endorse the divorce and remarriage of their friends are endorsing and enabling sin against God.
All those leaders in the church who marry divorced people are endorsing and enabling sin in the body.
James 3:1 "1 Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly."
It truly is astonishing that people want to fight to defend a sin simply because a family member or friend might get their feelings hurt. Even worse is to fight to defend sin because we don't want to lose a friend or family member.
Who is more important to us, Christ or our companions.
Malachi 2:14
"Yet you say, 'For what reason?' Because the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant."
The love of this age is shallow and hateful, based only on personal pleasure and a life without difficulties. Throwing people away because they are difficult is not God's way.
The lack of faith in Christ is what is demonstrated when a Christian fights to defend the throwing away of a person simply because they don't measure up.
The person who blocked me today for my stand on marriage has shown the same mentality of "throwing away" a friend for the sake of maintaining a love of sin. At least she is consistent.
If there is nothing wrong with divorce and remarriage then why do people become so angry over a higher standard for marriage.
I don't believe we had fewer problems in marriage 50 years ago. What we had was a resolve to remain married no matter what. We worked out problems over time because we knew there was no out for us. Today the young people are bailing out of marriage when it is the slightest uncomfortable, often for no other reason than they just want another partner.
Whatever happened to loving someone through the hard times. Whatever happened to praying and fasting for the reconciliation of a spouse who has gone wayward? The self esteem teaching has managed to make everyone less tolerant of hardships in order to work through them.
This culture shouts tolerance all over the place but it means nothing. They want it for themselves but don't want to endure for anyone else.
If someone said to me "it is better to buy a brand new car to avoid the problems with an old one, would that make anyone "angry?" No, there would be a calm discussion about it.
I suggest that people get angry when they are convicted of sin. They want to appear spiritual and righteous but are not willing to obey God.
No one gets angry at the suggestion that someone get off drugs or alcohol. No one gets angry at the suggestion that we should be more careful about the food we eat. Why then if divorce and remarriage is just as benign, they would be so angry at the suggestion that it is better not divorce and remarry?
Our culture to some degree knows that divorce and remarriage is sin or they would not become so hostile when we suggest that one should avoid it all together.
God was very clear about this sin that has run rampant in the culture. AND, that is not bad enough it has run rampant through the church. All those people who endorse the divorce and remarriage of their friends are endorsing and enabling sin against God.
All those leaders in the church who marry divorced people are endorsing and enabling sin in the body.
James 3:1 "1 Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly."
It truly is astonishing that people want to fight to defend a sin simply because a family member or friend might get their feelings hurt. Even worse is to fight to defend sin because we don't want to lose a friend or family member.
Who is more important to us, Christ or our companions.
Malachi 2:14
"Yet you say, 'For what reason?' Because the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant."
The love of this age is shallow and hateful, based only on personal pleasure and a life without difficulties. Throwing people away because they are difficult is not God's way.
The lack of faith in Christ is what is demonstrated when a Christian fights to defend the throwing away of a person simply because they don't measure up.
The person who blocked me today for my stand on marriage has shown the same mentality of "throwing away" a friend for the sake of maintaining a love of sin. At least she is consistent.
Narcissists and the Devil Only Have Control if We Let Them
Narcissists often deny what they say and do to make us doubt ourselves.
The devil did this in the garden with Eve. He managed to convince her that she didn't hear God correctly. He also caused her to believe God was withholding truth from her.
Narcissists will cause doubt in someone who is not aware of their tactics. If we know what they are doing we become strong, never buying into their lies.
The goal of the narcissist is to cause us to elevate them above ourselves. In a healthy relationship no one is above another person nor do rational people care about denigrating another person. A healthy person enjoys blessing others with truth and support in their goals when those goals are aligned with God's principles.
Healthy relationships are based on mutual love, mutual compassion, mutual empathy and mutual kindness.
Narcissists are all about self all the time.
Never bother with defensiveness or explaining to the narcissist. Speak truth, if they do not receive it then move on without further discussion.
Narcissists do not care about resolving anything. The goal of the narcissist is to dominate and devalue all those people who do not agree with them or bow to them.
In healthy relationships the friends have no need to devalue anyone else, they are simply happy being themselves and allowing others to be themselves. This does not mean that we never disagree, or that we allow sin to carry on without challenge. When we challenge someone about sin our goal ought to be to help someone confess, turn from their sin and be restored. The narcissist will have none of this, they are only about one thing and that is to win over others.
Narcissists love to poke at every single thing their target does no matter how small. They also have no ability to engage in joy for the accomplishments of others, nor do they have empathy for the trials of others.
In short, and this is important.....the narcissist is all about self all the time. If they do a good deed it comes with expectations and strings. Everything then narcissist does for others must have a benefit for them. They will not do anything kind if it does not bring them accolades from others.
God spoke of this in his word;
Philippians 2:3-4
"3 Do nothing [a]from [b]selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; 4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others."
God cannot be on the throne in our own minds when ourselves are on that throne.
Dishonesty and lying is the basic character of the narcissist. They lie to elevate self, they lie about others to demean them, they lie about their accomplishments, they lie by omission to skew perceptions of things, in short they live a lifestyle of lies.
Guess who is the father of lies? The devil!!!!
When we see narcissists at work in relationships we can surmise that the devil is speaking into the mind while using their mouths.
1 Peter 5:7-9 "…7 Cast all your anxiety on Him (Christ), because He cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded and alert. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in your faith and in the knowledge that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering.…"
The goal of the narcissist is to cause us to falter and fall so they can feel superior to us. The devil is very adept at frustrating someone to cause them to sin. When we know this is what is happening then we must remain calm, refuse to answer to the manipulations and be on our way.
Mark 6:7
"And He summoned the twelve and began to send them out in pairs, and gave them authority over the unclean spirits;"
Narcissists are unwittingly allowing unclean spirits to dominate them. Even convincing the narcissist they are the ones in control, but they are not, it is devils who reign over the narcissist. They are pawns in the hands of the devil.
Matthew 10:8
"Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons. Freely you received, freely give."
The devil and the narcissist only have control over us if we allow them that control.
1 John 2:14
"I have written to you, fathers, because you know Him who has been from the beginning I have written to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the evil one."
The devil did this in the garden with Eve. He managed to convince her that she didn't hear God correctly. He also caused her to believe God was withholding truth from her.
Narcissists will cause doubt in someone who is not aware of their tactics. If we know what they are doing we become strong, never buying into their lies.
The goal of the narcissist is to cause us to elevate them above ourselves. In a healthy relationship no one is above another person nor do rational people care about denigrating another person. A healthy person enjoys blessing others with truth and support in their goals when those goals are aligned with God's principles.
Healthy relationships are based on mutual love, mutual compassion, mutual empathy and mutual kindness.
Narcissists are all about self all the time.
Never bother with defensiveness or explaining to the narcissist. Speak truth, if they do not receive it then move on without further discussion.
Narcissists do not care about resolving anything. The goal of the narcissist is to dominate and devalue all those people who do not agree with them or bow to them.
In healthy relationships the friends have no need to devalue anyone else, they are simply happy being themselves and allowing others to be themselves. This does not mean that we never disagree, or that we allow sin to carry on without challenge. When we challenge someone about sin our goal ought to be to help someone confess, turn from their sin and be restored. The narcissist will have none of this, they are only about one thing and that is to win over others.
Narcissists love to poke at every single thing their target does no matter how small. They also have no ability to engage in joy for the accomplishments of others, nor do they have empathy for the trials of others.
In short, and this is important.....the narcissist is all about self all the time. If they do a good deed it comes with expectations and strings. Everything then narcissist does for others must have a benefit for them. They will not do anything kind if it does not bring them accolades from others.
God spoke of this in his word;
Philippians 2:3-4
"3 Do nothing [a]from [b]selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; 4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others."
God cannot be on the throne in our own minds when ourselves are on that throne.
Dishonesty and lying is the basic character of the narcissist. They lie to elevate self, they lie about others to demean them, they lie about their accomplishments, they lie by omission to skew perceptions of things, in short they live a lifestyle of lies.
Guess who is the father of lies? The devil!!!!
When we see narcissists at work in relationships we can surmise that the devil is speaking into the mind while using their mouths.
1 Peter 5:7-9 "…7 Cast all your anxiety on Him (Christ), because He cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded and alert. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in your faith and in the knowledge that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering.…"
The goal of the narcissist is to cause us to falter and fall so they can feel superior to us. The devil is very adept at frustrating someone to cause them to sin. When we know this is what is happening then we must remain calm, refuse to answer to the manipulations and be on our way.
Mark 6:7
"And He summoned the twelve and began to send them out in pairs, and gave them authority over the unclean spirits;"
Narcissists are unwittingly allowing unclean spirits to dominate them. Even convincing the narcissist they are the ones in control, but they are not, it is devils who reign over the narcissist. They are pawns in the hands of the devil.
Matthew 10:8
"Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons. Freely you received, freely give."
The devil and the narcissist only have control over us if we allow them that control.
1 John 2:14
"I have written to you, fathers, because you know Him who has been from the beginning I have written to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the evil one."
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