I have been encountering many people in the 50's to 60's age group who are experiencing adult child estrangement. Never did I think I would be meeting this many people who have nasty adult children.
The disrespect I am hearing about is shocking, not to mention the mentality that parents owe the adult children whatever resources they have. These adult children are hyper-sensitive to correction, criticism and rebuke much more than we ever were when we were young. We used to get embarrassed, but never thought about completely cutting someone off because they told us the truth or offered an opinion we didn't like.
Correction and straight talk was a normal course of life in my generation. Everyone spoke their mind, even in harsh terms if need be, but no one was cut them off permanently for their opinion or their correction. Now days when an adult child is rebuked or corrected, they tend to sever all ties to the parent, much the way a murder victims survivor would, no matter how small the correction was, since no disciplinary words would be acceptable under any circumstance.
In-law children play a huge roll in destroying parental ties to bio family. Most of my research shows that women are more likely to cut off their mothers in law than men are their mothers in law. Notice too, its about the mothers. The fathers are not being treated the same way as the mothers. The only thing I can figure out is that the mothers are more vocal about their feelings and thoughts than the men are, so they take the brunt of the abuse from adult children and in laws. Women are also hard wired to be teachers of the young, they are less likely to let an error pass without input.
Our culture has been raised on self esteem for the past 50 years, narcissism has grown exponentially without restraint. Our generation has raised the children to feel equal to the authority over them, therefore thinking they have every right to ignore God's mandates to honor the authorities He placed over them. They are full of arrogance, incensed at anyone who would dare to tell them they were wrong about something while feeling free to lecture and instruct their parents.
I have come to the conclusion that most fathers have not defended and upheld the integrity of their wives. The women are much more of a target because they are perceived as being weaker, easier prey. When the adult children have a sense that they want to be seen as good people but still want to punish the corrector, they will use insidious ploys to covertly carry out revenge under the radar.
While reading a post today about a woman who had been working through the sadness and grief of disrespectful and mean adult children, something that she said struck me between the eyes, the realization that she did the best she could, that it was the perspective of the adult children that was the problem.
So often when someone is unjust or mean we tend to wonder if we really did do something wrong, but upon serious reflection, we often are doing what is right, instructing and correcting as commanded by God, but the children are convicted, rather than being humbled and growing they fight in anger resisting our teaching.
All this is a product of our times of rebellion as mentioned in 2 Timothy 3. We could say that part of it is our problem, no one is perfect, however the onus is on the child to honor the parent, it comes from God's Word.
When I tried to teach my children to call adults "Mr. and Mrs." and their last names, I was met often with adults who would not allow it, they would correct me and tell the children to call them by their first names, this undermined my authority and diminished respect for authority to equality with adults. When these same children grow up, they take with them the attitude that parents are to always be treated like peers rather than honored as above themselves. Once that honor is gone, there is no getting it back, the next generation does not know how to do it, nor do they begin to understand it.
We made this mess in one generation, through the teaching of self esteem in the schools, then it traveled into the churches and morphed into something much more monstrous and insidious than anyone expected. Now many parents are estranged from their adult children and even from their grandchildren. Grandchildren take on the attitudes of their parents over time, parents teach their grandchildren by example how to treat grandparents.
There is only one solution to all this mess, that is to stay close to God, pray continually and enjoy the time God has given you to be alone with Him. Perhaps one day some elderly parents will regain their families, but perhaps not, and if not, then we have Christ living in us. He provides all our needs and the love too! And, in the mean time God can work on those adult children, letting Him is better anyway. Removing ourselves may be the best medicine for us and for them.
Monday, March 9, 2015
Nephlin Fable Is Foolishness
I am growing weary of this "Nephlim" foolishness. It is the latest fad, based on ancient writings not the Bible. Concepts have been gleaned from these ancient writings to interpret the Word rather than the Word being used as the bench mark for evaluation of the ancient writings.
Please would everyone just go to prayer and ask God about this. Why is it so popular, as was "The Prayer of Jabez" where one little prayer was taken out of context to prove that we should pray a certain prayer to gain land, or whatever we want to gain.
Now we have demons who have spiritual bodies mating with physical women producing giants. Why not spirit babies or tiny people,why would they necessarily be giants?
Angels do not procreate even among themselves, they have no human or angel seed to be able to pro-create on any level. The only way they could interact with humans is to possess a human's body, then that would still be the seed of the human.
Myths are being developed everywhere to distract people from the gospel. Notice every cracked pot on the planet loves this stuff, non-believers are jumping on this band wagon as well as believers. Whenever something becomes this popular based on ancient writings, we can be sure it is the devil using it.
When our information comes from extra-biblical writings, we can be sure of error.
I wonder why it is so important to people to believe this, I think it is because it is "science fiction", it appeals to those looking for the bizarre. These same people think they know the Bible because they watched the movie "Noah."
Please don't come on here to argue about "Nephlim", just go and ask God.
Please would everyone just go to prayer and ask God about this. Why is it so popular, as was "The Prayer of Jabez" where one little prayer was taken out of context to prove that we should pray a certain prayer to gain land, or whatever we want to gain.
Now we have demons who have spiritual bodies mating with physical women producing giants. Why not spirit babies or tiny people,why would they necessarily be giants?
Angels do not procreate even among themselves, they have no human or angel seed to be able to pro-create on any level. The only way they could interact with humans is to possess a human's body, then that would still be the seed of the human.
Myths are being developed everywhere to distract people from the gospel. Notice every cracked pot on the planet loves this stuff, non-believers are jumping on this band wagon as well as believers. Whenever something becomes this popular based on ancient writings, we can be sure it is the devil using it.
When our information comes from extra-biblical writings, we can be sure of error.
I wonder why it is so important to people to believe this, I think it is because it is "science fiction", it appeals to those looking for the bizarre. These same people think they know the Bible because they watched the movie "Noah."
Please don't come on here to argue about "Nephlim", just go and ask God.
Actions Prove Our Words
Forgiveness is nothing more than words for most people, they say they forgive, but their actions prove otherwise, in all things. "Your actions speak so loud I can't hear a word your saying", is a saying we used to hear. We live in a culture that thinks as long as you "say" something that covers it.
But our actions prove whether our words are true.
James 2:14-26
"14 What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him?
15 If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food,
16 and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit?
17 Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
18 But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.
19 You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble!
20 But do you want to know, O foolish man, that faith without works is dead?
21 Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered Isaac his son on the altar?
22 Do you see that faith was working together with his works, and by works faith was made perfect?
23 And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.” And he was called the friend of God.
24 You see then that a man is justified by works, and not by faith only.
25 Likewise, was not Rahab the harlot also justified by works when she received the messengers and sent them out another way?
26 For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also."
But our actions prove whether our words are true.
James 2:14-26
"14 What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him?
15 If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food,
16 and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit?
17 Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
18 But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.
19 You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble!
20 But do you want to know, O foolish man, that faith without works is dead?
21 Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered Isaac his son on the altar?
22 Do you see that faith was working together with his works, and by works faith was made perfect?
23 And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.” And he was called the friend of God.
24 You see then that a man is justified by works, and not by faith only.
25 Likewise, was not Rahab the harlot also justified by works when she received the messengers and sent them out another way?
26 For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also."
No Longer Any Shame
Jeremiah 6:15
"Were they ashamed because of the abomination they have done? They were not even ashamed at all; They did not even know how to blush. Therefore they shall fall among those who fall; At the time that I punish them, They shall be cast down," says the LORD."
"Were they ashamed because of the abomination they have done? They were not even ashamed at all; They did not even know how to blush. Therefore they shall fall among those who fall; At the time that I punish them, They shall be cast down," says the LORD."
What Goes Around Comes Around
Non-believers are still trying to overthrow God as did the devil in heaven when he wanted to be above God.
When we place our own things above the things of God, we are doing what the devil did when he was cast out of heaven.
When children disobey their parents, showing contempt for their authority, they are doing what the devil did, refusing to acknowledge the authority of God through His ordained authority on earth, the parents.
Ephesians 6:1 "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right."
There are those who think that because they are now grown, there is no longer a mandate to honor or listen to their parents. Sadly those who do not honor their parents in adulthood, do not because they never did in childhood. They hid their inner feelings of rebellion to be able to live in peace, but their heart was never submitting.
Someone else told the story of the little boy who was told to sit down in the chair, the little boy declared boldly, "I am sitting down, but on the inside I am standing up."
People do not all of a sudden change into something different because circumstances change. When we are out from under the law of our parents is when we see the real self. Those who had honor for their parents in childhood will maintain that honor even more so after adulthood.
It might be good to take a look at what honor looks like and what it is not. Honor is not necessarily sending a birthday card or gifts on the holidays, it is not attending family gatherings at the parents house, nor is it bringing cups of coffee or treats to them.
Honor is an attitude, some of those things mentioned may be an indication of honor, but often they are ritual to elevate self, rather than a sense of honor. When our activities our based on a sense of personal enjoyment or a need for acceptance, manipulation is used, to be able to show others you did something, it has little to do with honor.
Our attitude toward our parents, often is a reflection of our attitude toward God. Whatever our mental disposition toward our parents is also our disposition toward God. It is a matter of the heart condition toward authority as a whole that is an indication of our overall spiritual temperament.
When there is love and honor for our parents, no matter what they say or do, we have a deep seeded desire to love them and be loved by them. To show contempt for our parents through manipulation, intimidation and other forms of subtle disapproval toward their person, is sin and proof that we lack the honor God is talking about.
When there is a show of contempt and disrespect for parents and ultimately God, then there is an influence in the lives of our own children. Often those who have shown contempt and dishonor for their own parents or other authorities over them, will see that same contempt forming in their own children.
Those who dishonor others, through an attitude of superiority, dismissiveness and contempt, are teaching by example, fostering these things in the lives of those within their sphere of influence.
There is an old saying; "more is caught than taught." We may tell our children to honor their parents, but if they see the parents dishonoring their own grandparents, then the children are more likely to do what they see rather than what they are told. This is the reason so many children have gone bad today, the parents taught in words, but modeled in actions the opposite of what they wanted to convey to their own children. Sometimes it was a matter of one parent showing disrespect for another parent or it was one parent allowing disrespect on the part of the children toward the other parent. Whatever the case it is devilish and destructive.
God knew exactly what this looked like, He said;
Matthew 15:8 "'THIS PEOPLE HONORS ME WITH THEIR LIPS, BUT THEIR HEART IS FAR AWAY FROM ME."
Parents often are able to discern dishonor in the most subtle forms coming from their children, they know when they are being treated with contempt, the object of contempt always knows. Just as God sees the contempt in the heart, so does the parent who has discernment.
It would be good for everyone to ask for wisdom on this matter, we are experiencing more of this rebellion than ever before. 2 Timothy 3 describes what it will like in the last days. There is no excuse for believers to act like this, they can ask Christ in them to show them their own heart. Non-believers can do nothing else, they are ruled and controlled by the father of lies and have no defense against his wiles. They are completely at his mercy.
2 Timothy 3
"3 But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come:
2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
3 unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good,
4 traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!
6 For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts,
7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
8 Now as Jannes and Jambres resisted Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, disapproved concerning the faith;
9 but they will progress no further, for their folly will be manifest to all, as theirs also was."
It helps to know that God warned us about this to comfort us, the same contempt that parents often feel on the part of their children is the contempt the world shows for Christ, the rebellion the devil had against God and the attitude of superiority adult children show for their parents. It is all connected to one thing......dishonor of God Himself.
May each one honestly reflect on their own attitude, evaluating it in terms of the Word of God, not comparing ourselves with ourselves or justifying ourselves in one way or another, rather honestly seeking for God to show us who we really are in His eyes.
When we place our own things above the things of God, we are doing what the devil did when he was cast out of heaven.
When children disobey their parents, showing contempt for their authority, they are doing what the devil did, refusing to acknowledge the authority of God through His ordained authority on earth, the parents.
Ephesians 6:1 "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right."
There are those who think that because they are now grown, there is no longer a mandate to honor or listen to their parents. Sadly those who do not honor their parents in adulthood, do not because they never did in childhood. They hid their inner feelings of rebellion to be able to live in peace, but their heart was never submitting.
Someone else told the story of the little boy who was told to sit down in the chair, the little boy declared boldly, "I am sitting down, but on the inside I am standing up."
People do not all of a sudden change into something different because circumstances change. When we are out from under the law of our parents is when we see the real self. Those who had honor for their parents in childhood will maintain that honor even more so after adulthood.
It might be good to take a look at what honor looks like and what it is not. Honor is not necessarily sending a birthday card or gifts on the holidays, it is not attending family gatherings at the parents house, nor is it bringing cups of coffee or treats to them.
Honor is an attitude, some of those things mentioned may be an indication of honor, but often they are ritual to elevate self, rather than a sense of honor. When our activities our based on a sense of personal enjoyment or a need for acceptance, manipulation is used, to be able to show others you did something, it has little to do with honor.
Our attitude toward our parents, often is a reflection of our attitude toward God. Whatever our mental disposition toward our parents is also our disposition toward God. It is a matter of the heart condition toward authority as a whole that is an indication of our overall spiritual temperament.
When there is love and honor for our parents, no matter what they say or do, we have a deep seeded desire to love them and be loved by them. To show contempt for our parents through manipulation, intimidation and other forms of subtle disapproval toward their person, is sin and proof that we lack the honor God is talking about.
When there is a show of contempt and disrespect for parents and ultimately God, then there is an influence in the lives of our own children. Often those who have shown contempt and dishonor for their own parents or other authorities over them, will see that same contempt forming in their own children.
Those who dishonor others, through an attitude of superiority, dismissiveness and contempt, are teaching by example, fostering these things in the lives of those within their sphere of influence.
There is an old saying; "more is caught than taught." We may tell our children to honor their parents, but if they see the parents dishonoring their own grandparents, then the children are more likely to do what they see rather than what they are told. This is the reason so many children have gone bad today, the parents taught in words, but modeled in actions the opposite of what they wanted to convey to their own children. Sometimes it was a matter of one parent showing disrespect for another parent or it was one parent allowing disrespect on the part of the children toward the other parent. Whatever the case it is devilish and destructive.
God knew exactly what this looked like, He said;
Matthew 15:8 "'THIS PEOPLE HONORS ME WITH THEIR LIPS, BUT THEIR HEART IS FAR AWAY FROM ME."
Parents often are able to discern dishonor in the most subtle forms coming from their children, they know when they are being treated with contempt, the object of contempt always knows. Just as God sees the contempt in the heart, so does the parent who has discernment.
It would be good for everyone to ask for wisdom on this matter, we are experiencing more of this rebellion than ever before. 2 Timothy 3 describes what it will like in the last days. There is no excuse for believers to act like this, they can ask Christ in them to show them their own heart. Non-believers can do nothing else, they are ruled and controlled by the father of lies and have no defense against his wiles. They are completely at his mercy.
2 Timothy 3
"3 But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come:
2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
3 unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good,
4 traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!
6 For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts,
7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
8 Now as Jannes and Jambres resisted Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, disapproved concerning the faith;
9 but they will progress no further, for their folly will be manifest to all, as theirs also was."
It helps to know that God warned us about this to comfort us, the same contempt that parents often feel on the part of their children is the contempt the world shows for Christ, the rebellion the devil had against God and the attitude of superiority adult children show for their parents. It is all connected to one thing......dishonor of God Himself.
May each one honestly reflect on their own attitude, evaluating it in terms of the Word of God, not comparing ourselves with ourselves or justifying ourselves in one way or another, rather honestly seeking for God to show us who we really are in His eyes.
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