Why do we seem to be seeing so many entire families who are narcissistic in nature, you might ask?
Because people in general do what others do to be accepted. We often meet people who have no manners at all, when we meet their families we can see why.
Then there are other families who are gracious and kind, nearly everyone in them act diplomatically and friendly. This is because the gracious families taught more by example as well as their words. They instructed the children to be kind while demonstrating kindness themselves.
Rude families pass their attitudes on to other family members. Kind families do the same.
Want to have a kind and loving family structure, then read the Bible, pray for wisdom and act as though you care about others.
Sunday, July 15, 2018
Who Controls You
We are never in control of ourselves. We are either controlled by the devil, by our flesh or by God. We get to choose who controls us. If we think we are acting independently completely on our own, we are not.
The Devil's Tactics
Sometimes our absence removes the emotional supply from the narcissist, allowing them time to think about their own hearts. I am a fan of absence when there has been no movement toward change.
Sometimes we have to block those who care only about arguing to win. There is no benefit in an unresolved argument that is deliberately to cause frustration in others.
We can see when there is argument to win, the tactics are quite clear. There is an elevated voice, a vitriolic response as well as
personal attacks on our character. A narcissist cannot feel whole and victorious until they have managed to reduce their victim to a puddle on the floor. Our defense and hurt feelings feeds this monster, they love it, it is their goal to reduce us any way they can.
When we see this happening it is time to wish the perp a nice day and remove ourselves. One of the favored tactics of the one who wishes to control the emotions of others is the desire to diminish their target through mocking and false accusations.
The Lord does not want us engaging in fruitless and foolish discussion as a competition. We are to engage in conversation to discover truth and come to a mutual understanding. When we cannot come to a respectful mutual understanding then we can remain friends, as long as the respect remains throughout the discussion.
When the respect is gone, so should we be gone.
I have actually been told by two family members that they didn't respect me, not because of anything I did to them, but because of gossip and that I would not be what they wanted me to be. When you find that you are being treated disrespectfully continually, that is our biggest clue it is time to end the relationship.
God never called us to remain friends with every believer that crosses our path. Nor are we commanded to remain friends with family just because they are family. We remain respectful and bold all the time, but we cannot walk on the path with someone who is hell bent on diminishing us merely to win in a conversation.
The devil wishes to silence us and cause fear of rejection in us. Ignore him, his time is short, his goal is destruction and we need not give into his tactics. Hallelujah!!!
Sometimes we have to block those who care only about arguing to win. There is no benefit in an unresolved argument that is deliberately to cause frustration in others.
We can see when there is argument to win, the tactics are quite clear. There is an elevated voice, a vitriolic response as well as
personal attacks on our character. A narcissist cannot feel whole and victorious until they have managed to reduce their victim to a puddle on the floor. Our defense and hurt feelings feeds this monster, they love it, it is their goal to reduce us any way they can.
When we see this happening it is time to wish the perp a nice day and remove ourselves. One of the favored tactics of the one who wishes to control the emotions of others is the desire to diminish their target through mocking and false accusations.
The Lord does not want us engaging in fruitless and foolish discussion as a competition. We are to engage in conversation to discover truth and come to a mutual understanding. When we cannot come to a respectful mutual understanding then we can remain friends, as long as the respect remains throughout the discussion.
When the respect is gone, so should we be gone.
I have actually been told by two family members that they didn't respect me, not because of anything I did to them, but because of gossip and that I would not be what they wanted me to be. When you find that you are being treated disrespectfully continually, that is our biggest clue it is time to end the relationship.
God never called us to remain friends with every believer that crosses our path. Nor are we commanded to remain friends with family just because they are family. We remain respectful and bold all the time, but we cannot walk on the path with someone who is hell bent on diminishing us merely to win in a conversation.
The devil wishes to silence us and cause fear of rejection in us. Ignore him, his time is short, his goal is destruction and we need not give into his tactics. Hallelujah!!!
A Mark of the True Believer
Anyone who is born again is hyper sensitive to their own sin. They cannot bear the thought of hurting anyone. A born again believer will eventually confess to be cleansed, because they hate their sin and they hate harming others. We are so sensitive to sin that we are even empathetic toward those who have hurt us. We let go but continue to hope for the repentance of those who harm us.
1 John 3:8-10 "…8 The one who practices sin is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the very start. This is why the Son of God was revealed, to destroy the works of the devil. 9 Anyone born of God refuses to practice sin, because God’s seed abides in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God. 10 By this the children of God and the children of the devil can be distinguished: Anyone who does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is anyone who does not love his brother."
Those who have no conscience over their sin, even enjoying it, defending it and refusing to listen to those who point it out, cannot be born again. They need to repent and confess what they are while trusting in Christ for their salvation.
No one who refuses to confess their sinfulness can be born again.
1 John 3:8-10 "…8 The one who practices sin is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the very start. This is why the Son of God was revealed, to destroy the works of the devil. 9 Anyone born of God refuses to practice sin, because God’s seed abides in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God. 10 By this the children of God and the children of the devil can be distinguished: Anyone who does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is anyone who does not love his brother."
Those who have no conscience over their sin, even enjoying it, defending it and refusing to listen to those who point it out, cannot be born again. They need to repent and confess what they are while trusting in Christ for their salvation.
No one who refuses to confess their sinfulness can be born again.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)