Most people in our day base their decisions and judgments about people on what they have heard and their jealousy factor. They interpret what their target has said or done by their own mindset frought with anger and malice toward anyone who does not think the way they think.
In my years as a youth I do not remember one time when two people sat down to discuss a disagreement to resolve it. There was always shouting, refusal to listen and character assassination rather than rational and reasonable facts. There was never self-reflection to learn what happened and their part in it. Many people in our culture decide to dislike someone so they can fit into the crowd that has gossiped about those they have singled out. Anger is at the root of merely believing something we have heard when there has been no good evidence.
Kind and loving people want to resolve things and even evaluate their own hearts as well as review their actions to be sure who might be at fault if anyone is at fault. With narcissists only others are at fault, they take no responsibility in their own flawed character.
Our culture as a whole is dedicated to self-preservation over relationship love and affection. Since jealousy dominates the culture, people compete with one another to be first and superior, there is no room for sacrificial love.
It takes sacrificial love to care more about preserving a relationship than we do about our own need to be superior. The self-esteem teaching over the past 50 years has destroyed love, kindness and a depth of character that it takes to develop a relationship into a lasting bond for a lifetime.
If you find yourself solitary a lot because almost everyone is parading themselves to be special, then you are not alone, many people find themselves avoiding relationships because the culture as a whole does not know how to engage as a true friend.
God said that in the last days there would be an absence of faith and along with this absence of faith will be an absence of love, God's kind of love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
"4 Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant.
5 It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered,
6 it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
Do not be discouraged, we cannot change the world around us nor can we change other individuals, but we can seek Christ to become like Him. If we spend too much time with the world or family who acts disrespectfully on a regular basis we WILL become like them, perhaps not completely but to some degree.
If we want to be like Christ we must walk with those who also want to be like Christ. These people will be rare but they do exist and God can find them for us.
Proverbs 19:22
"The desire of a man is his kindness: and a poor man is better than a liar."
1 Corinthians 3:2-3 "…2I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for solid food. In fact, you are still not ready, 3for you are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and dissension among you, are you not worldly? Are you not walking in the way of man? "
Proverbs 13:19-21 "…19 Desire fulfilled is sweet to the soul, but turning from evil is detestable to fools. 20 He who walks with the wise will become wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed. 21 Disaster pursues sinners, but prosperity is the reward of the righteous.…"
Choose your companions wisely, be kind to everyone so that you will have a clear conscience no matter how anyone else treats us. This is the "bless your enemies" part, not that we make them our constant companions but that when they cross our paths we do not become like them.
