1 Timothy 5:8
"8 But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
I would need to study this further to prove what I am about to write, but I sense that God does not exclude love and kindness as part of the provision for a household.
Even a jailer provides for the prisoner but the experience is a miserable one.
The Lord tells us when we become born again we have the fruit of the Spirit, that is; "love, joy, peace, gentleness, kindness and self-control", these are all things every born-again believer has because they are the character qualities of the Spirit of God Who lives in us. We are required to walk in the Spirit, which is motivated by His fruit.
Providing for someone is more than just making sure their physical needs are available to them, we must also attend to their emotional and spiritual needs. Valuing our parents even when we don't agree with them or when they have emotionally abused us sets us apart from those who do not have control over their emotions and reactions.
John 15:12: "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."
Corinthians 16:14: "Do everything in love."
1 Peter 4:8: "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
Ehesians 5:21: "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
1 John 4:8: "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."
Corinthians 13:13: "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
Romans 12:9: "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good."
Colossians 3:14: "And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
Honoring our father and mother is more than taking care of their needs, it is also valuing them unconditionally as cherished people.
Many adult children see to the needs of their aging parents but have no love to give them. They grudgingly provide physical needs but break their parent's hearts as they serve with angst toward their parents. These adult entitled children revile their parents, demean and mock them over minor disagreements because of their hatred for them.
Sometimes parents break our hearts but this is not a license to treat them contemptuously. If anyone had a reason to treat us contemptuously it was Christ Who died for us, but instead, He extended grace that we might choose to trust in Him.
Some parents would rather be left to rot under a bridge than to be chained to an ungrateful, mean-spirited child who treats them disrespectfully every day.
The Lord will provide for His children who love Him even in their old age, of this I am confident. I have no regrets after my parents passed because I grew up in a culture that did not talk back or revile one's parents. I had to limit my visits because of the disrespect that was shown me but I never responded in hate or anger, the Lord Jesus Christ kept me from it.
We will never regret holding our tongues toward angry mean people, we can leave their actions to God and carry on with a clear conscience as we live out our lives after they are gone.
Never make the actions of others a greater focus than our godly response to them. First and foremost we must depend on the Holy Spirit for our responses. He always knows what is best. WE cannot change others, but we can change ourselves in obedience to Christ.
