2 Peter 1:2-4 "2 Grace and peace be multiplied to you through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. 3 His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through the knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence.
4 Through these He has given us His precious and magnificent promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, now that you have escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.…"
Sunday, May 8, 2016
The Godly Work to Resolve, the Narcissist Works to Demean
"Where you seek compromise, the Narcissist will see total victory. Where you seek understanding, the Narcissist seeks domination."
Kimberly Harding
When you find yourself in a relationship with a crazy making narcissist, desiring to talk out a problem to understand, change or fix something, the narcissist will refuse to discuss anything.
The reason we are met with resistance to discussion to resolve a matter, is basic to the narcissistic experience, they simply cannot discuss a matter calmly and rationally because their goal is always to win. If that means to manipulate, intimidate and lie to gain their end goal, they will do it.
When we love with a Christ-like love we rush to understand and resolve difficulties. We desire to talk things out, our goal is never to win, but to fix a problem.
The only reason a problem cannot be fixed is because someone is guilty and will not confess or admit it. If they admit their guilt they are then in a one down position in their own minds it is positively unthinkable for the full blown narcissist.
There are those too, who will not discuss a problem because they love their prejudice against their target, they enjoy hating the one whom they choose to misunderstand. This is positively demonic, engineered by the devil and carried out in the minds of those who have no defenses against him and his minions.
When we love God's way, we love to resolve things, we love to reconcile and we love to understand to grow in knowledge and wisdom.
Those who love only themselves, have only one thing in mind and that is to be perceived as perfect and right in everything. They do not grow, change or resolve problems, they merely move on from those they cannot control or who do not elevate them in a special way.
2 Peter 3:17-18 "…17 Therefore, beloved, since you already know these things, be on your guard not to be carried away by the error of the lawless and fall from your secure standing. 18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen."
2 Timothy 4:18
"And the Lord will rescue me from every evil action and bring me safely into His heavenly kingdom. To Him be the glory forever and ever. Amen."
2 Peter 1:2
"Grace and peace be multiplied to you through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord."
2 Peter 1:3
"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through the knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence."
2 Peter 1:8
"For if you possess these qualities and continue to grow in them, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ."
We cannot always resolve things with those who refuse to discuss, but we can be a reasonable person ourselves with others who love as we love while never returning evil for evil no matter how intense or covert the tactics of the narcissist is. We can pray that we go on to operate under the power of the Holy Spirit, as we pray that others will do the same.
Kimberly Harding
When you find yourself in a relationship with a crazy making narcissist, desiring to talk out a problem to understand, change or fix something, the narcissist will refuse to discuss anything.
The reason we are met with resistance to discussion to resolve a matter, is basic to the narcissistic experience, they simply cannot discuss a matter calmly and rationally because their goal is always to win. If that means to manipulate, intimidate and lie to gain their end goal, they will do it.
When we love with a Christ-like love we rush to understand and resolve difficulties. We desire to talk things out, our goal is never to win, but to fix a problem.
The only reason a problem cannot be fixed is because someone is guilty and will not confess or admit it. If they admit their guilt they are then in a one down position in their own minds it is positively unthinkable for the full blown narcissist.
There are those too, who will not discuss a problem because they love their prejudice against their target, they enjoy hating the one whom they choose to misunderstand. This is positively demonic, engineered by the devil and carried out in the minds of those who have no defenses against him and his minions.
When we love God's way, we love to resolve things, we love to reconcile and we love to understand to grow in knowledge and wisdom.
Those who love only themselves, have only one thing in mind and that is to be perceived as perfect and right in everything. They do not grow, change or resolve problems, they merely move on from those they cannot control or who do not elevate them in a special way.
2 Peter 3:17-18 "…17 Therefore, beloved, since you already know these things, be on your guard not to be carried away by the error of the lawless and fall from your secure standing. 18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen."
2 Timothy 4:18
"And the Lord will rescue me from every evil action and bring me safely into His heavenly kingdom. To Him be the glory forever and ever. Amen."
2 Peter 1:2
"Grace and peace be multiplied to you through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord."
2 Peter 1:3
"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through the knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence."
2 Peter 1:8
"For if you possess these qualities and continue to grow in them, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ."
We cannot always resolve things with those who refuse to discuss, but we can be a reasonable person ourselves with others who love as we love while never returning evil for evil no matter how intense or covert the tactics of the narcissist is. We can pray that we go on to operate under the power of the Holy Spirit, as we pray that others will do the same.
Jealousy and Back Biting is Demonic
Do we understand that jealousy, envy and back biting is demonic, not to mention irrational?
James 3:16
"For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice."
James 4:2-3
"You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions."
James 3:14
"But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth."
Proverbs 14:30
"A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot."
Proverbs 27:4
"Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?"
James 3:14-15
"But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic."
James 3:16
"For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice."
James 4:2-3
"You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions."
James 3:14
"But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth."
Proverbs 14:30
"A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot."
Proverbs 27:4
"Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?"
James 3:14-15
"But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic."
He Was Beheaded For Christ
Yes, he lost his head because he told Herod and Herodius they were in an adulterous and unlawful marriage. There are many people who claim to be Christian today who hate those of us who repeat God's Principles for marriage as though it was our own idea instead of commands of Christ.
There are those who hate us just this much, but cannot get away with beheading us so they use covert means of manipulation and intimidation in an attempt to force us to say and do the things they say and do.
Even those who don't do these things approve of those who do, continuing the emotional abuse to keep from feeling convicted over their sinfulness. Little do they realize that one day those who defy God's commands and those who approve of them will answer to God for their rebellion.
Romans 1:31-32 "…31 They are senseless, faithless, heartless, merciless. 32 Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things are worthy of death, they not only continue to do these things, but also approve of those who practice them."
Being accepted by the culture carries more weight with modern day Christians than God's commands!
Mark 7:13 "13 Thus you nullify the word of God by the tradition you have handed down. And you do so” in many such matters."
There are those who hate us just this much, but cannot get away with beheading us so they use covert means of manipulation and intimidation in an attempt to force us to say and do the things they say and do.
Even those who don't do these things approve of those who do, continuing the emotional abuse to keep from feeling convicted over their sinfulness. Little do they realize that one day those who defy God's commands and those who approve of them will answer to God for their rebellion.
Romans 1:31-32 "…31 They are senseless, faithless, heartless, merciless. 32 Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things are worthy of death, they not only continue to do these things, but also approve of those who practice them."
Being accepted by the culture carries more weight with modern day Christians than God's commands!
Mark 7:13 "13 Thus you nullify the word of God by the tradition you have handed down. And you do so” in many such matters."
A United Front in Marriage
Excellent comments regarding marriage in a family.
Gary Gavriel Dawson says:
"Yes! She is the other half of any man. That is what the Jews believe. They are supposed to be opposites. Man is hard, woman is soft. Man is thinking; woman is feeling. You understand?
Regarding speaking doctrine to a man, it is how they talk to each other that is the key. They should speak privately to one another. Not have public battles where one belittles the other. The bible says they are ECHAD BASAR - ONE FLESH. They should present a united front to the world, and especially to their children."
She's My Better Half
Gary Gavriel Dawson said this, it makes very good sense to me, something that God has been showing me for years.
"Actually in Judaism a woman is half of the whole man. Much more than just a helper. Where do you think the term, SHE'S MY BETTER HALF actually came from originally? It was from a religious Jew. Jews teach that Adam was a Hermaphrodite and was split into two by the LORD: man and woman. I just thought you Christians should know."
I have been persecuted by Christians for speaking to men about God, even saying that when a husband does not obey God we are to correct him and refuse to disobey God, even appealing to the husband to return to obedience to God when he strays. If we love our husbands, we will want them to be the best person they can be before God, the same is true if a man loves his wife, he will do the same.
Acts 5:29 "29 But Peter and the other apostles replied, “We must obey God rather than men."
Romans 16:17 "Now I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and obstacles that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Turn away from them."
Proverbs 28:4-6 "…4 Those who forsake the law praise the wicked, But those who keep the law strive with them. 5 Evil men do not understand justice, But those who seek the LORD understand all things. 6 Better is the poor who walks in his integrity Than he who is crooked though he be rich.…"
We are to honor and obey our husbands everywhere we can, except when they disobey or dishonor Christ. Then we are to correct them and do what we need to in order to obey God ourselves, all the while praying for disobedient husbands. We are never to repay evil for evil nor do revenge.
There are those who would say to decline to obey a husband who disobeys God, is sin for the wife who is dedicated to Christ. They would say that she does not love her husband. The Bible teaches the opposite of this, God says that to obey Christ is to love those who disobey. By obeying Christ we set an example to those who walk sinfully while remaining obedient to God ourselves. If we love our husbands we HELP them in all areas including and especially their spiritual life.
1 John 5:2-4 "…2 By this we know that we love the children of God: when we love God and keep His commandments. 3 For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome, 4 because everyone born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world: our faith.…"
It is entirely possible that those women who blindly obey their husband by going out to the bar with them, or attending wicked events or watching filthy pornography films, are either enjoying those events themselves or they are playing the martyr.
If a woman allows her husband to do wicked things without challenge, she is more concerned about elevating herself as the "perfectly obedient" wife than she is concerned about the well-being of her husband and her children. Appearances for her own glory has taken center stage over the welfare of those in her household. In short, she is self righteous, unconcerned about her family and her husband, while being overly prideful about her own goodness as she sees it, but not as God sees.
If we love our husbands we will be their helpmate in guiding them when needed. We are counselors for their good if we love Christ. Those who allow their husbands to make all the decisions whether good or bad are also allowing them to take the brunt of the blame when there is a failure. When we share in the decisions of our husband, no one is to blame, failures do not point to only one person who bares ALL the responsibility. The wife shares in the consequences of decisions, not only to the praise of the couple but also to the correction needed when things don't work out. We are to influence our husbands for righteousness.
There are woman who PRIDE themselves as loving their husbands because they basically say nothing, do nothing and are nothing, leaving all the hard decisions to their husbands so that they get to enjoy a life of freedom from any accountability or responsibility.
When we operate as a team in marriage we bare the consequences of decisions together, no one person takes all the heat for anything that does not go right. No one person in the relationship is burdened with the task of making all the decisions alone without counsel.
Marriage is a partnership of decision making and consequences. When one party in the marriage attempts to take over everything not allowing for the input of the other, it is not a marriage according to God, but a dictatorial narcissistic take over for the purpose of having everything their own way, while demeaning and devaluing their marriage partner.
It is important that we are not confronting every little detail of someone's life, such as a raised voice that doesn't happen often but is a reaction to an inconvenience when someone has a headache. What I am describing as sin that needs to be confronted is blatant continual sin that is damaging to the family and personally damaging to our spouse.
When husband and wife work together for the good of the marriage and the family, there is unity, resolution of problems and restoration when difficulties come. The bottom line in this is that a marriage that works together with mutual love and concern, will blossom, become very close and is unable to be affected by outside sources.
Never allow someone else to define your marriage for you. Each couple has different ways of relating to one another in the details. It's no one else's business.
Those who would attempt to interfere in our marriages must be removed from us, they can do more damage through their covert attempts at controlling emotions and spinning events to undermine what you are building.
Only allow in your lives, those who love you and your marriage, those who would encourage both of you in the way you have chosen to operate.
1 Peter 1:21-23 "21 Through Him you believe in God, who raised Him from the dead and glorified Him; and so your faith and hope are in God. 22 Since you have purified your souls by obedience to the truth, so that you have a genuine love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from a pure heart. 23 For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.…"
"Actually in Judaism a woman is half of the whole man. Much more than just a helper. Where do you think the term, SHE'S MY BETTER HALF actually came from originally? It was from a religious Jew. Jews teach that Adam was a Hermaphrodite and was split into two by the LORD: man and woman. I just thought you Christians should know."
I have been persecuted by Christians for speaking to men about God, even saying that when a husband does not obey God we are to correct him and refuse to disobey God, even appealing to the husband to return to obedience to God when he strays. If we love our husbands, we will want them to be the best person they can be before God, the same is true if a man loves his wife, he will do the same.
Acts 5:29 "29 But Peter and the other apostles replied, “We must obey God rather than men."
Romans 16:17 "Now I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and obstacles that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Turn away from them."
Proverbs 28:4-6 "…4 Those who forsake the law praise the wicked, But those who keep the law strive with them. 5 Evil men do not understand justice, But those who seek the LORD understand all things. 6 Better is the poor who walks in his integrity Than he who is crooked though he be rich.…"
We are to honor and obey our husbands everywhere we can, except when they disobey or dishonor Christ. Then we are to correct them and do what we need to in order to obey God ourselves, all the while praying for disobedient husbands. We are never to repay evil for evil nor do revenge.
There are those who would say to decline to obey a husband who disobeys God, is sin for the wife who is dedicated to Christ. They would say that she does not love her husband. The Bible teaches the opposite of this, God says that to obey Christ is to love those who disobey. By obeying Christ we set an example to those who walk sinfully while remaining obedient to God ourselves. If we love our husbands we HELP them in all areas including and especially their spiritual life.
1 John 5:2-4 "…2 By this we know that we love the children of God: when we love God and keep His commandments. 3 For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome, 4 because everyone born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world: our faith.…"
It is entirely possible that those women who blindly obey their husband by going out to the bar with them, or attending wicked events or watching filthy pornography films, are either enjoying those events themselves or they are playing the martyr.
If a woman allows her husband to do wicked things without challenge, she is more concerned about elevating herself as the "perfectly obedient" wife than she is concerned about the well-being of her husband and her children. Appearances for her own glory has taken center stage over the welfare of those in her household. In short, she is self righteous, unconcerned about her family and her husband, while being overly prideful about her own goodness as she sees it, but not as God sees.
If we love our husbands we will be their helpmate in guiding them when needed. We are counselors for their good if we love Christ. Those who allow their husbands to make all the decisions whether good or bad are also allowing them to take the brunt of the blame when there is a failure. When we share in the decisions of our husband, no one is to blame, failures do not point to only one person who bares ALL the responsibility. The wife shares in the consequences of decisions, not only to the praise of the couple but also to the correction needed when things don't work out. We are to influence our husbands for righteousness.
There are woman who PRIDE themselves as loving their husbands because they basically say nothing, do nothing and are nothing, leaving all the hard decisions to their husbands so that they get to enjoy a life of freedom from any accountability or responsibility.
When we operate as a team in marriage we bare the consequences of decisions together, no one person takes all the heat for anything that does not go right. No one person in the relationship is burdened with the task of making all the decisions alone without counsel.
Marriage is a partnership of decision making and consequences. When one party in the marriage attempts to take over everything not allowing for the input of the other, it is not a marriage according to God, but a dictatorial narcissistic take over for the purpose of having everything their own way, while demeaning and devaluing their marriage partner.
It is important that we are not confronting every little detail of someone's life, such as a raised voice that doesn't happen often but is a reaction to an inconvenience when someone has a headache. What I am describing as sin that needs to be confronted is blatant continual sin that is damaging to the family and personally damaging to our spouse.
When husband and wife work together for the good of the marriage and the family, there is unity, resolution of problems and restoration when difficulties come. The bottom line in this is that a marriage that works together with mutual love and concern, will blossom, become very close and is unable to be affected by outside sources.
Never allow someone else to define your marriage for you. Each couple has different ways of relating to one another in the details. It's no one else's business.
Those who would attempt to interfere in our marriages must be removed from us, they can do more damage through their covert attempts at controlling emotions and spinning events to undermine what you are building.
Only allow in your lives, those who love you and your marriage, those who would encourage both of you in the way you have chosen to operate.
1 Peter 1:21-23 "21 Through Him you believe in God, who raised Him from the dead and glorified Him; and so your faith and hope are in God. 22 Since you have purified your souls by obedience to the truth, so that you have a genuine love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from a pure heart. 23 For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.…"
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