Narcissists love to cause others to do evil. They will suck the righteous person in by baiting them to respond in frustration, after which they will say; "see how you are." I cannot tell you the number of times my family members did this to me, while my mother stood back and either ignored it when it was done in front of her or laughed along with the narcissist.
Even when we are doing something good the narcissist will find a reason to demean it as though we are doing something wrong.
The narc attempts to ruin anything that is good in you, because the Holy Spirit convicts them of sin, they hate to be convicted of their evil.
The only reason to discuss this matter of narcissism is to understand the tactics of the devil. The devil's aim is to cause hurt and frustration, with the intent that eventually the target will fall apart into a heap of depression, while even engaging in sinful behavior to relieve the pain caused by the narcissist.
After the devil has accomplished his goal, he will use evil people who not only lack empathy but love to see the target fail, to engage in gloating over the failure.
We don't have to let the narcissist into our lives, nor do we have to endure the narcissist without defenses.
When we follow God's principles in dealing with narcissists we will have power over our own lives and the narcissist will have no power over us.
Here are some guidelines:
Here is what a narcissist looks like:
2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
Notice verse 5 of 2 Timothy, "Avoid such men as these."
Here is what narcissists do: They attempt to start fights and arguments over anything and everything to mock and demean those who love Christ.
Proverbs 29:8-10 "…8 Scorners set a city aflame, But wise men turn away anger. 9 When a wise man has a controversy with a foolish man, The foolish man either rages or laughs, and there is no rest. 10 Men of bloodshed hate the blameless, But the upright are concerned for his life.…"
Proverbs 13:5-6 "5 A righteous man hates falsehood, But a wicked man acts disgustingly and shamefully. 6 Righteousness guards the one whose way is blameless, But wickedness subverts the sinner.…"
When we realize who we are dealing with...the narcissist, here is what we are to do: Ignore them, do not engage in their attempt at fights.
Proverbs 9:7-9 "…7 He who corrects a scoffer gets dishonor for himself, And he who reproves a wicked man gets insults for himself. 8 Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you, Reprove a wise man and he will love you. 9 Give instruction to a wise man and he will be still wiser, Teach a righteous man and he will increase his learning.…"
Fools have a very high opinion of themselves and will not listen to anyone.
Proverbs 26:12 "12 Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him."
Proverbs 12:15-16 "15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But a wise man is he who listens to counsel. 16 A fool's anger is known at once, But a prudent man conceals dishonor.…"
Proverbs 1:22-23 "22 "How long, O naive ones, will you love being simple-minded? And scoffers delight themselves in scoffing And fools hate knowledge? 23 "Turn to my reproof, Behold, I will pour out my spirit on you; I will make my words known to you.…"
Fools ( can also be narcissists) cannot stand to be corrected or instructed. They will only learn if it is their own idea and only the false knowledge that tends to elevate them.
Proverbs 26:16 "The sluggard is wiser in his own eyes
Than seven men who can give a discreet answer."
A narcissist is not necessarily lazy in their career, but can be very slothful when it comes to human relationships. Because they don't care about anyone else they will scoff at and thwart any attempt to work out with others a problem. They are more likely to bully others into doing things their way, or run away so as not to have to deal with anything that might make them face their own failings.
Our culture is full of those who cannot sit down to discuss a problem, while desiring to hear the heart of another person. They hate resolving things, it is their way or the highway. Always, they would rather depart than stay to resolve a matter.
Proverbs 28:1 "1 The wicked flee when no one is pursuing, But the righteous are bold as a lion."
Those who are righteous are quick to resolve things, but the narcissist refuses to reflect on their own actions, they refuse to put themselves in the shoes of another to understand. Because they lack empathy, they have no sense of true concern for others. They can fake and pretend concern but a discerning person can see that it is not genuine and will not last because it is superficial and contrived.
Only God can reach those who are in this sin sick condition. No "person" can explain it to them, manipulate them into thinking about their own actions, nor can any circumstance change their hearts for the better, it is only Christ Who can work in their lives that which is beneficial to changing their heart.
God can bring about circumstances that prick just the right part of their heart that He knows will reach them. Many will never trust Him even though they will play the game to appear as though they have changed, but it will not last because it is fleshly, done in their own power, not done in the power of the Holy Spirit. Only that which is done by Christ is permanent.
As we see in 2 Timothy 3:5, these people will pretend to have a form of godliness but they do not have the Holy Spirit, therefore anything "spiritual" that they attempt will be for the benefit of self rather than to love and worship God.
2 Timothy 3:5 "…4 traitorous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Turn away from such as these! "
Pray for those who are in this condition, but do not allow them to enter your lives nor affect your walk with Christ. They are deadly in relationships, avoid bringing them into your group or family, until God shows you through the Holy Spirit, that there has been a born again experience. God can tell us, we need not try to figure it out AND, we do not need to give into the pressure of the culture to remain with these wicked people, God gives us permission to withdraw from them.
