I have found that those who walk with Christ are sensitive to how they act, so much so they will apologize just for bumping into someone at the store. They cannot stand the idea of harming another human being.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
"4 Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant.
5 It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered,
6 it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
7 it eeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away with; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away with."
A narcissist is more concerned about being seen as right than they are about how their actions have affected someone else. If they bump into someone at the store they are likely to blame the person for being in their way.
A narcissist will fight to win, shout, argue and defend themselves when confronted with their own bad or mean behavior. They never apologize, or they apologize to get something back they think they have lost. They are never sincere about anything. When someone is driven to protect their image without regard to what God thinks, we can expect they cannot be trusted to be faithful, kind, and loving friends.
It has been my experience as a scapegoat that even our kind gifts are rejected because the narcissist hates it when we are happy, friendly, and giving. They want to believe bad things about us that are not true so they interpret every action as a mean act. Perhaps this is because if they were to give a gift they know it would be to manipulate or gain some sort of personal attention from doing it.
The narcissist interprets our actions in terms of how they would act, not in light of the motives of their target.
Blame is the main element in the trials of the narcissist. They do not grow emotionally or spiritually because in order to do so one has to admit flaws in themselves and want to be changed by God.
This is why I find it hard to believe that a narcisisst could ever be a born-again Christian. In order to be born-again, one must admit their flaws, desire to be changed and the evidence of that change will be seen by others.
A born-again believer had to be broken and contrite over the sin to be saved by Christ. A narcissist could never be broken, they are too busy fighting to elevate themselves above everyone, especially their designated target.
Psalm 51:16-17 "…16 For You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; You take no pleasure in burnt offerings. 17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise. "
Proverbs 17:11
"An evil man seeks only rebellion, and a cruel messenger will be sent against him."
Only an evil man rejecting the Word of God could operate consistently in the realm of narcissism. They are controlled in their thought life and actions by the devil who influences them. This is why God says in 2 Timothy 3 to remove yourselves from them.
How can we know who is a narcissist or not?
God tells us how to recognize them through the Holy Spirit and His knowledge of what they look like, in actions and mentality.....the WAY they think tells us everything. How can we know the "WAY" someone thinks? It is quite easy, they will act and respond the way they think. Someone can hide only so long before the real them emerges, this is how we will know the narcissist.
2 Timothy 3:1-5
"3 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,
4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away."
God says they will have a form of godliness in verse 5. These people will go to church but will disobey more of the Bible than they obey. They will defend sinful actions and wrongly judge others. They will gossip and justify their gossip. They rarely admit their own sinfulness and if they do it is manipulation to draw their target back in or manipulate their emotions.
When confronted with the sin in their lives they will rage and attempt to intimidate to remain superior in their own minds. They have no conscience about their rage or rudeness.
They use excuses to blame us when we confront their sin. They will say things like; "you are too sensitive" or "you are judging", even though they are describing themselves as they accuse others.
A narcissist is highly sensitive to correction, and they often judge others wrongly,. They do not attempt to get to know someone even resisting knowing them, they do not want to discover the truth about others because they love their lies. They love to "feel" superior, preventing them from developing sincere and lasting relationships.
The best way to deal with narcissism is to pray for those afflicted by it while keeping your distance. They will only attempt to ruin your walk with Christ, causing debilitating damage to your confidence in the Lord.
Perhaps a good phrase for this is to "love them from afar" as some people have said.
We don't hate the narcissist, in fact, we pity them and desire that they repent and become born again. We have no control over what they do, however, we must protect ourselves from their constant carnage.
Proverbs 6:12-16
"12 A worthless person, a wicked man,
goes about with crooked speech,
13 winks with his eyes, signals with his feet,
points with his finger,
14 with perverted heart devises evil,
continually sowing discord;
15 therefore calamity will come upon him suddenly;
in a moment he will be broken beyond healing.
16 There are six things that the Lord hates,
seven that are an abomination to him:"
