The most godly people I have met have been those who had lifelong illnesses. God uses illness to make us stronger, those who are never ill or never have problems may be illegitimate children.
Hebrews 12:8
"If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons."
James 1:2-4 "2 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4 And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
Sunday, May 27, 2018
Dominance or Discovery?
Many people take a disagreement as a personal attack. When I discuss things with people I try to address the topic not judging the person's character.
Sadly there are many people who judge others so they assume others are judging them whenever there is a disagreement.
When we hear the mantra "your judging me", its very likely that person judges others.
It is reasonable in conversation to disagree even telling someone they are wrong about something with the explanation why. The problem comes when someone equates "your wrong" with "your bad or evil."
Everyone is wrong sometimes, no one is right all the time. Therefore we can go into a disagreement without judging someone as evil for not agreeing with us and we can assume that the one who disagrees with us does not think we are evil, until they begin to say things like; "I don't respect you."
I have actually been told this before by those who have serious character flaws. Its as though they wanted to intimidate me into believing I was a bad person to take the focus off of their own flaws.
It is when a discussion degrades into character assassination and mocking that we discover the discussion was not about discovering truth, but more about winning to appear superior. If the only way to win is to intimidate the other one into silence, hoping they will think less of themselves at the end of it, then we have witnessed the actions of a narcissist.
Loving, honest and kind people are all about truth, they love to discuss a matter to come to common ground, their purpose is not to win but to see all sides of things, understand where the other person is coming from while in the process ultimately developing a close relationship with the other person.
Narcissists are not interested in a relationship, their only and paramount aim is to dominate over others.
Proverbs 18:2
"A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."
Sadly there are many people who judge others so they assume others are judging them whenever there is a disagreement.
When we hear the mantra "your judging me", its very likely that person judges others.
It is reasonable in conversation to disagree even telling someone they are wrong about something with the explanation why. The problem comes when someone equates "your wrong" with "your bad or evil."
Everyone is wrong sometimes, no one is right all the time. Therefore we can go into a disagreement without judging someone as evil for not agreeing with us and we can assume that the one who disagrees with us does not think we are evil, until they begin to say things like; "I don't respect you."
I have actually been told this before by those who have serious character flaws. Its as though they wanted to intimidate me into believing I was a bad person to take the focus off of their own flaws.
It is when a discussion degrades into character assassination and mocking that we discover the discussion was not about discovering truth, but more about winning to appear superior. If the only way to win is to intimidate the other one into silence, hoping they will think less of themselves at the end of it, then we have witnessed the actions of a narcissist.
Loving, honest and kind people are all about truth, they love to discuss a matter to come to common ground, their purpose is not to win but to see all sides of things, understand where the other person is coming from while in the process ultimately developing a close relationship with the other person.
Narcissists are not interested in a relationship, their only and paramount aim is to dominate over others.
Proverbs 18:2
"A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."
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