Have you ever wondered why there are entire family systems that exhibit narcissistic traits as though they are all thinking in lockstep with one another?
It took me many years to realize that the devil does target family structures to think in tandem to discourage the born-again believer. He is likelier to discourage a believer in Christ when they have no allies.
Loving empathic people have a tendency to question themselves believing they have done something wrong because so many others are against them. But the truth is the one who is walking with Christ is not doing things wrong, they are obeying Scripture and standing alone. Most "Christians" do not care what God thinks, they only enjoy their cultic system based on human ideas and acceptance by the group they attend.
Born-again believers rarely disagree and when they do their disagreements are minor and received with kindness, allowing everyone to think the way they think. Why would we be this way? We love Christ in us and we love and enjoy Christ in others.
When we disagree on minor points we discuss those points or let them go because we have no need to "win" over anyone. Arguing to win is very distasteful to the born-again believer.
Satan loves to fight causing senseless meaningless arguments over silly things. Pride is why he was thrown out of heaven and why narcissists love to argue, their pride drives them to win, and they have no kindness or love for anyone except themselves. Just like the devil the narcissist loves to divide people and cause hurt merely to elevate themselves.
The mentality of the devil was to win over God and since he could not do that he works to win over God's people through isolation and emotional battering. When he cannot discourage the believer he employs ungodly narcissistic people to go after them for him.
1 Peter 5:7-9 "…7 Cast all your anxiety on Him (Jesus Christ), because He cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded and alert. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in your faith and in the knowledge that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering.…"
When we learn the tactics of the devil through his narcissistic ploys we will not be drawn into the foolishness he motivates in those who are controlled by him.
The world is full of lies now that cause trouble in relationships. The devil can make family members think there is something wrong with the born-again believer when nothing is wrong. He loves to lie to people the way he lied to Eve in the garden making her distrust God.
Genesis 3:3-5 "…3 but about the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You must not eat of it or touch it, or you will die.’ ” 4“You will not surely die,” the serpent told her. 5“For God knows that in the day you eat of it, your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”…"
The devil accused God of lying to Eve and then told her so she would be distrustful and disobedient to Him. Satan does this with family members, bringing false thoughts and producing anger over nothing real.
Families are being split continually over the silliest things and information that is untrue. This is the devil doing it all to remove the support systems of people who have no one else but family.
As born-again believers we have Christ, if the devil manages to convince family we are worthy of contempt then we can easily move on without guilt or pressure to walk with Christ and His people who do not believe the lies of the devil.
I know many people do not think they can move on from family to spend time alone with Christ, but they can and those who do enjoy such peace once they make that vital decision to remove themselves from the foolish banter, the gossip and the tricks ungodly people play to cause division, they gain a great deal and lose nothing.
Matthew 10:20-22 "… 20 For it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you. 21 Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rise against their parents and have them put to death. 22 You will be hated by everyone because of My name, but the one who perseveres to the end will be saved.…"
Luke 12:52-53 "… 52 From now on, five in one household will be divided, three against two and two against three. 53 They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”
Micah 7:6
"For a son dishonors his father, a daughter rises against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. A man's enemies are the members of his own household."
Matthew 10:21
"Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rise against their parents and have them put to death."
Matthew 10:35
"For I have come to turn 'a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law."
When we no longer allow the pressure of the culture to force us to remain with ungodly family our joy returns. The blessing of remaining separate and alone with Christ is so wonderful we can never return to the godless family structure.
Once our eyes have been opened they can never be closed again.
O.K. now you may be confused because many "godless" family members are in the church. You might say; "but they go to church, I can't leave them because they say they are Christians." Nothing could be farther from the truth.
Many people who say they are Christians are rude, mean and self-absorbed, lacking all the fruit of the Spirit and in many cases, if not most, they have never been born again. But here's the rub, even if they are born again but act continually with anger and disrespect we are to stay away from them, they cause trouble among those who wish to walk with Christ.
Matthew 18:15-17
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."
Romans 16:17
"I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them."
It is more likely that I would avoid a brother or sister who is born again for acting badly than I would a non-believer. Non-believers do not know Christ and do not know better, but the one who has been a Christian for many years and still acts rudely as a lifestyle with those they dislike, is rebelling against God's Word about loving the brethren.
John 13:35
"35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another.”
Sometimes it is hard to discern who is a brother and who is not when they attend churches. However, we are to avoid those who have rejected Christ and those who say they are Christians but are continually superficial and lacking in love.
Matthew 7:15-17 "15 Beware of false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. 16 By their fruit you will recognize them. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17 Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.…"
Galatians 5:22-23
"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."
Those who act ungodly, mean and rude much of the time will only ruin your walk with Christ if you do not avoid them.
An authentic born-again believer will bring peace, joy and friendship to other believers. You will sense a connection quickly with them because the Holy Spirit's love in them is strongly evident.
Ecclesiastes 7:8
"The end of a matter is better than the beginning, and a patient spirit is better than a proud one."
Romans 8:5
"Those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit."
Those who walk with Christ every day will sense when a brother in Christ has approached them, the Spirit in them will connect with our Spirit, and there will be no question they walk with Christ too.
