I was listening to Dr. Laura while in my car a few days ago. I don't generally turn her on at home but do while I am driving around town, mostly for comic relief. Although this time, the answer she gave to a young married woman, enraged me.
The woman was complaining that her husband was an "excessive compulsive" personality and somewhat of a controller.
Dr. Laura's quick and ill-considered answer was beyond belief. She told the woman that she had picked her husband unwisely and must correct her mistake. The inference was that the woman should dump him by divorcing him. Then Dr. Laura gave her the alternative to dumping him, which was to have her tubes tied so that she would not bring children in to this "situation."
Dr. Laura's advice was not only uninformed but childish. We do not dump people we love just because they don't act exactly the way we like them to. We chose to love those we have committed ourselves to through marriage, by standing by them no matter what.
Secondly, how can Dr. Laura know for sure that this woman's opinion of her husband is correct. Women often state things in more dramatic terms than they really are. We are emotional creatures given to assumptions and perspectives based on our feelings. We can not trust our feelings, especially in a culture that had coddled and babied us all through our childhood.
My advise to that young woman would have been very different and I believe kinder than Dr. Laura's. I would have told the young woman that she may be overreacting, but for the sake of argument, let's assume she was not. Do we dump people because they don't meet our expectations? I would have asked for clarification as to what the wife was calling excessive compulsive. Is the woman in question doing her job as a homemaker and seeing to it that the work in the household is done for the sake of her family? Is she selfish and lazy? We don't know which is true by her testimony alone. Did she throw out that "psychological" term "excessive compulsive" to manipulate Dr. Laura into an answer she wanted to hear?
Thirty second marriage counseling can not be effective or accurate. It is showmanship of the worst kind. Playing counselor for three hours, possibly ruining the lives of people in thirty second snippets for the sake of ratings, is unconscionable.
I used to enjoy Dr. Laura, she would extol the virtues of homemaking and taking care of your man as though she really believed it. Is it possible that Dr. Laura only believes in these principles if we are married to perfect people.
I have news for Dr. Laura, no one is perfect. We all have things that we need to work on in order to grow into a better person, we don't divorce over them, we grow and change and work them out.
I was also angry when Dr. Laura used the phrase, "these kind of people don't change." It is an untruth. Many people change, and so what if they don't, we learn to accept the quirks in people and love them anyway.
One thing Dr. Laura does not understand, is that in Christ we can and do change. But being an unbeliever, Dr. Laura would not understand that changing power of Christ in someones life. She would never point anyone to faith in Jesus Christ. Because she does not believe people change, she leaves the caller with no hope at all for the marriage relationship that is experiencing trials.
Christians should not listen to Dr. Laura for advise. She does not know the Lord and will not counsel from the Word of God.
God's Word, as believers, is our authority for the situations of life. But in order to know God's way we must read His Word for general principles and then ask Him for direction on the specifics. If we seek the Holy Spirit for our wisdom, we will not go wrong. A perfect God has the perfect answer to everything.
