In the last several years, I seem to have developed the ability to discern when someone was lying to me or showing contempt--or both. I thought that the Lord had given me Holy Ghost discernment and had prayed to understand what I was seeing and processing the expressions and gestures of others.
While in prayer over the past few months, the Lord placed it into my mind the matter of Narcissism and manipulation, so I went to the computer and typed in those words to see what articles might emerge to give me more insight into what I was seeing in the actions and attitudes I was encountering.
Much information was given me that was very helpful on these subjects and led me to an even deeper desire to understand the human condition. The Lord led me to other materials that enlightened me even more.
All my discoveries based on the studies of others revealed that it is basic human nature to lie on a regular basis and every single human being on planet earth does it regularly. I knew that man is depraved and incapable of righteousness without Christ, but these studies drove home the matter to such a degree that it solidified my Biblical belief that without Christ no man can stop himself from lying nor can any man make himself anything close to acceptable to God by his shear exertion.
Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; who can know it.”
Romans 3:10 “As it is written: "There is none righteous, no, not one;”
I remember disciplining my children as teenagers for rolling their eyes at me. I perceived this as an act of disrespect that I could not allow to pass without consequences. I held to this position until now without realizing what I was looking at, even then the Lord was revealing to me what was inside the child of the rolling eyes.
In the book “Liespotting” by Pamela Meyer, I began to realize what the rolling eyes really meant and why they were so disturbing to me at the time. Here is what Miss Meyer said in her book:
“Many facial expressions are fairly easy to recognize and interpret, but there is one you want to watch for in particular because it is especially loaded with meaning. This is the expression of contempt (emphasis mine).
“As we’ve discussed, contempt is the only asymmetrical expression; the other six all appear “bilaterally,” or equally on both halves of the face. A contemptuous expression may mean that a companion feels morally superior to you or that she believes you’re degrading yourself in some way.
“The renowned psychologist John M. Gottman has repeatedly demonstrated his ability to predict, with 90 percent accuracy, which newly weds will stay married and which will divorce. Oneo F. Gottman’s tenet is that couples who express anger toward each other aren’t necessarily at risk of splitting up….but those who express contempt are definitely in the danger zone. The mere action of rolling one’s eyes at a partner is a dismayingly accurate predictor of marital problems. When we feel contemptuous of someone, we’ve decided we’re morally superior. On some level, we have dismissed them. Contempt can be deadly to personal relationships, and it’s deadly in business relationships as well.
“If a conflict arises at work, and you spot contempt on your opponent’s face…a wrinkle in the nose, eye rolling, or a raised nostril combined with a curled upper lip… you’re on dangerous ground. And if you express contempt for those around you, they’ll sense it. Contempt poisons relationships.”
Miss Meyer has managed to hit the nail on the head. So often we think we are hiding our contempt for someone because we don’t say words that convey this attitude, but our facial muscles and eye movements betray us.
I have recently declared to others that I no longer believe the words of those around me. I watch their lives, actions and expressions to determine what is real. Miss Meyer explains in her book that we tell 200 lies in a day on average, from little exaggerations to monster relationship breaking lies. None the less, our human nature carries these deceptions within the very depth of our souls, without our even realizing it.
It is only through Christ living in us that we can escape the ugly creature that dwells within us, the lying despot that we are, continually deceiving others for our own gain.
Sadly, I have been able to detect lies that show contempt for me and for what I believe, no matter what plastic smile occurs on the face of the liar. I have actually been told “we love you,” only to retort that “I do not believe you.” Actions really do speak louder than words and so do facial expressions and head and eye movements.
I have come to the conclusion that speech is a very small part of communication; our bodies give us away often. When we sense that someone is not telling the truth, they probably aren’t.
All smiles are not genuine. We can see that, but we are reluctant to read it for what it is, because we have been trained by our culture to accept words over every other indicator of the truth.
Christ Jesus calls Himself the Word in the gospel of John chapter 1. All other human words are tainted with the stain of sin and cannot be believed unless backed up with a righteous life.
In the book “Liespotting” it is clear that the author believes in evolution, and for this I am in disagreement; however, the science of spotting lying by facial muscles, eye movements and other gestures, is quite accurate in its information.
We as human beings think we are fooling one another as long as we don’t get caught, and sometimes we are. However, those who are gifted in detection of lies or are trained in it, know what we are doing, we cannot hide from those people and we definitely cannot hide from God.
If we repent from lying, seek God for truth and obey Him when He speaks, we can overcome this devilish fallen state that holds us captive, but only through Christ can we do it and only if we are submitted daily to Him.
“No thought can be withholden from Thee.”
Psalm 44:21
“For He knoweth the secrets of the heart.”
Proverbs 15:3
“The eyes of the Lord are in every place.”
Jeremiah 16:17
“For Mine eyes are upon all their ways: they are not hid from My face, neither is their iniquity hid from ine eyes.”
Jeremiah 23:24
“Can any hide himself in secret places that I shall not see him?” saith the Lord. Do not I fill heaven and earth?”
“For He knoweth the secrets of the heart.”
Proverbs 15:3
“The eyes of the Lord are in every place.”
Jeremiah 16:17
“For Mine eyes are upon all their ways: they are not hid from My face, neither is their iniquity hid from ine eyes.”
Jeremiah 23:24
“Can any hide himself in secret places that I shall not see him?” saith the Lord. Do not I fill heaven and earth?”
