Claiming our explanations are excuses is a way of demeaning their target. Narcissists cannot and will not have a rational and reasonable conversation without diminishing the character of the one they fight against.
When we attempt to be rational with a narcissist their go-to tactic is character assassination, rarely remaining on topic they go after us to cause emotional flare-ups.
It is nearly impossible to get a reasonable answer from a narcissist when we ask a question to clarify what they are saying. We hear things like; "you never listen", when we are attempting to get them to talk openly so we can listen they use personal attacks and never answer the question posed to them.
When we see this tactic employed we know it is time to end the conversation, nothing said after that will calm the narcissist. They use every response as a springboard for more arguing and fighting.
The arguments of the narcissist are irrational and vindictive, but sadly over nothing. They will take a sentence and blow it so out of proportion that it leads to frustration in us, this is their purpose. The narcissist wants to cause confusion, frustration, and anger in their target, they poke and poke until the bear finally growls.
These tactics are demonic, the narcissist is controlled by devils, if not possessed they are controlled by the devil's thoughts. We know the devil places thoughts into people because of what he did with Eve in the garden.
The devil spoke lies to Eve to turn her against God and to motivate her to sin. He is using the same tactic today that he did in the garden. He made Eve question God's motives even suggesting that God was withholding information, even lying to her.
Narcissists today are using the tactics of the devil. He attempts to get us to doubt our stand for righteousness by getting people to come against us, using language like; "that is not kind or loving" when we desire to obey God.
The devil has convinced people to pressure others to disobey God's principles and ways as though it is wrong to do so.
I have even had people pressure me to be friends with people God clearly told me to avoid. When this happens we need to state without reservation that God told me what to do and no pressure from others will make me change my mind. In some cases, we may need to do what Jesus did with Peter, tell the devil this; "get behind me Satan." We need not speak to the person who is being used of the devil, we can speak to the devil in the name of Jesus Christ and silence him.
Just recently the devil spoke through a man to my husband. The man didn't like the truth my husband was speaking so he told my husband to "shut-up", in a threatening voice, twice.
When we encounter rage such as this when the truth is being spoken we know it is a devil using the mind and mouth of the person speaking.
Proverbs 22:24-25 "24 Do not make friends with an angry man, and do not associate with a hot-tempered man, 25 or you may learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.…"
Proverbs 29:22
"An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression."
This is God's answer to the problem of men and women who are full of anger. We are to remove ourselves from them, with the understanding that we cannot reason with them or fix them. We must leave them to God. Pray if you like for their salvation, but do not think that you can influence them.
Proverbs 21:24
"Proud and haughty scorner is his name, who dealeth in proud wrath."
2 Corinthians 6:14-17
"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"
It is clear that if we attempt to reason with an angry person we will ultimately end up shouting back the way they shout at us. We will become like those who hate us. Our goal is to remain Christlike no matter what others are doing, in order to do this we must get away from them if we do not our flesh will emerge at some point and the devil will have won that round.
2 Timothy 3:1-5
"3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult (ragingly insane) times will come.
2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."
James 1:12. "12 Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love Him."
