I am convinced the only way a relationship damaged by selfish mean people is if they confess how mean they were and feel sorry they treated someone in this way. Without confession of sin and a desire to be different there is no reconciling of the relationship.
God will not reconcile a person to Him unless they are first broken over their sin and desire to be cleansed by Him.
The offenders should say something like; "I was so rude and disrespectful to you, please forgive me."
After all, remember Christ said the following:
James 5:16 "16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man has great power to prevail."
Healing does not occur in a broken relationship unless there is a confession of the offense.
1 John 1:9
"9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, so that He will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Hurt feelings and destroyed relationships CANNOT heal unless there is a demonstration of sorrow over the offense. The one who offends and is not sorry cannot be trusted, they will do it again because they don't see it as something to be avoided, nor do they care about the one they harmed. Protecting oneself from feelings of embarrassment and preserving pride is all offenders who don't confess, care about.
Another aspect of healing relationships is dialogue. We must discuss what happened, everyone listening to each other with an attitude of "how could I have done better." Or, "that is something I don't ever want to do again, I do not want to ever offend you this way again."
Relationships are not superficial. If the life experience with someone is superficial it is not a "relationship." There are many people we interact with every day that are not relationships to us. They are acquaintances, a relationship is deeper.
John 13:34-35 "…34 A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you also must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are My disciples if you love one another.”
When we love others we will not be attempting to trap them or manipulate them or demean or dismiss them.
1 Corinthians 13:4–8a Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth."
If we want to be "Christ-like" we must make the Word of God our standard for everything all the time. The world will pull on us to become like them through poking and mocking, the devil knows how to push the fleshly buttons of a Christian. We must ask the Holy Spirit to keep us from responding to the pokes in the flesh. And, we are commanded to remove ourselves, sometimes permanently from those who have contempt for the way we want to follow Christ.
Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."
