There is no reason to divorce however there can be reasons for separation for abuse. There is a law on the book in the United States that says a couple can get a legal separation without divorce that works the same way divorce does in terms of financial support. It is a permanent separation without the possibility of remarriage. It allows for a couple to have financial support without having to live together.
Apparently this law was a result of an answer to abuse without promoting divorce and the couple can never remarry if they take this legal action. This fits with the Bible in matters of abuse or adultery when a spouse will not stop the adultery.
I have noticed that when a couple divorces their intent is to be able to remarry against God's will. Once a remarriage happens there is very little chance there will be a reconciliation. But in a situation like the "legal separation" the couple will not be able to marry anyone else, there is a better chance of reconciliation.
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 "…10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. "
Saturday, October 26, 2019
Pray and Do What You Must
Wife or husband abuse is sin, it is against the law of man and of God, therefore it is best to alert the authorities when it happens. Defending one's self from an abuser is self defense, never feel bad if you have to do this.
Luke 22:36 “He said to them, “But now let the one who has a moneybag take it, and likewise a knapsack. And let the one who has no sword sell his cloak and buy one.”
Matthew 10:34 “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.”
Titus 3:10
"As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him,"
Romans 13:1-14
"Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, for he is God's servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God's wrath on the wrongdoer. Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God's wrath but also for the sake of conscience. ..."
Luke 22:36 “He said to them, “But now let the one who has a moneybag take it, and likewise a knapsack. And let the one who has no sword sell his cloak and buy one.”
Matthew 10:34 “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.”
Titus 3:10
"As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him,"
Romans 13:1-14
"Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, for he is God's servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God's wrath on the wrongdoer. Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God's wrath but also for the sake of conscience. ..."
The Discipline Can Save A Marriage
This is just me, but if I had a husband who beat me the first time, he would feel the brunt of my discipline through a good thrashing, learning that I cannot allow him to hurt himself or me without consequences.
I knew of a woman who was being beaten by her husband every time he came home from the bars drunk. One night she was ready for him. He came in the house skunk drunk, she beat him until he submitted, took him to the hospital and told him that he could expect this every time he came home drunk. He stopped drinking and never hit her again. Now I call that love!!!! They were able to remain married and go on to begin to build that marriage.
If a husband reacts in anger and leaves then his refusal to stop the sin is on him.
There are many ways to handle situations in which a spouse who is sinning might be able to see their evil and learn not to remain in their sin.
I knew of another woman who was being beaten by her husband after his visits to the bar. This woman was a godly woman who believed deeply in the marriage covenant and would not divorce. One night she cried out in sorrow to God to protect her this time from her husband when he arrived at home. She went to bed, when he arrived home he did not beat her, he just slipped in beside her and went to sleep. The next morning she woke up and her husband was still beside her, only this time he was dead. The Lord took his life during the night because of his wickedness toward God's daughter. This lovely lady was now a widow and freely remarried a godly man who had never been married before. She did not attempt to change her husband, nor did she divorce, she simply prayed for protection and the Lord took care of it.
Sometimes we have to take drastic action when a loved one will not stop sinning and other times all we do is pray and God protects. The same thing is true of narcissists who will not stop emotionally punching on their victims. We can remove them from our lives and allow God to work on them if we are not married to them. If we are married to a narcissist we can learn ways to live with them in peace depending on God to take care of any drastic occurrences.
In the case of the drunken husband we cannot dissolve the marriage covenant therefore the most loving thing to do is discipline that wayward husband and pray he learn a lesson from it. Sometimes God tells us to do it and others times He does it Himself.
I knew of a woman who was being beaten by her husband every time he came home from the bars drunk. One night she was ready for him. He came in the house skunk drunk, she beat him until he submitted, took him to the hospital and told him that he could expect this every time he came home drunk. He stopped drinking and never hit her again. Now I call that love!!!! They were able to remain married and go on to begin to build that marriage.
If a husband reacts in anger and leaves then his refusal to stop the sin is on him.
There are many ways to handle situations in which a spouse who is sinning might be able to see their evil and learn not to remain in their sin.
I knew of another woman who was being beaten by her husband after his visits to the bar. This woman was a godly woman who believed deeply in the marriage covenant and would not divorce. One night she cried out in sorrow to God to protect her this time from her husband when he arrived at home. She went to bed, when he arrived home he did not beat her, he just slipped in beside her and went to sleep. The next morning she woke up and her husband was still beside her, only this time he was dead. The Lord took his life during the night because of his wickedness toward God's daughter. This lovely lady was now a widow and freely remarried a godly man who had never been married before. She did not attempt to change her husband, nor did she divorce, she simply prayed for protection and the Lord took care of it.
Sometimes we have to take drastic action when a loved one will not stop sinning and other times all we do is pray and God protects. The same thing is true of narcissists who will not stop emotionally punching on their victims. We can remove them from our lives and allow God to work on them if we are not married to them. If we are married to a narcissist we can learn ways to live with them in peace depending on God to take care of any drastic occurrences.
In the case of the drunken husband we cannot dissolve the marriage covenant therefore the most loving thing to do is discipline that wayward husband and pray he learn a lesson from it. Sometimes God tells us to do it and others times He does it Himself.
The End Times Apostasy
I am convinced now that there are more pretenders in the church today than authentic believers. I base this on my own life experience and on the scripture that says it would be as "in the days of Noah", when everyone did what was right in their own eyes and no one would listen. There were only 8 people saved out of the flood!
Also there is the lack of discernment and no desire for it that is one of the clues. There is a resistance to correction, an embarrassment at the mention of the name of Christ as well as a hostility toward the truths of God.
2 Timothy 3:2-4…2 Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and encourage with every form of patient instruction. 3 For the time will come when men will not tolerate sound doctrine, but with itching ears they will gather around themselves teachers to suit their own desires. 4 So they will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.…
Also there is the lack of discernment and no desire for it that is one of the clues. There is a resistance to correction, an embarrassment at the mention of the name of Christ as well as a hostility toward the truths of God.
2 Timothy 3:2-4…2 Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and encourage with every form of patient instruction. 3 For the time will come when men will not tolerate sound doctrine, but with itching ears they will gather around themselves teachers to suit their own desires. 4 So they will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.…
The Narcissist Who Gossips
Yes, one of the tactics of the narcissist is to accuse others of what the narcissist is doing and the others are not. They make up in their mind what they want to believe about those for which they have contempt and over time they actually believe it.
The lies of the narcissist never stop in their own mind, they set out to convince others of these lies in order to have allies that align with them.
We see a lot of this in our interactions today. Many people make up stories in their own mind without strong evidence and judge the condition of someone else based on the machinations in their own mind.
When someone is rebellious they will make up ideas in their minds that fit with what they wish to believe about someone. They do not need evidence because their desire is so strong they can convince themselves, everything they see after that will be interpreted according to their desired beliefs.
One woman was accused by her son in law of never having engaged in anything productive outside her home and Sunday services at church.
This was so far from the truth it was laughable. This woman who was accused of having no influence or learning nothing in all her years had spoken on the radio, been on television, spoke at benevolent clubs and even in schools with messages of importance concerning the evil of pornography and abortion.
The son in law had not seen her doing these things because he was 10 years old living 3000 miles away when she was a young woman raising children as well as involvement in the community for twenty years.
His assessment of her was based on nothing more than his desired belief that she had done nothing significant in her life. This allowed him to dismiss her as nothing more than a foolish woman to be demeaned. In his desire to believe she was nothing more than a "house wife" allowed him to believe she lacked intelligence as well as boldness, the reason he felt justified in disrespecting her as much as he desired.
We know this is true because of all the people who are convinced that divorce and remarriage is acceptable. Other beliefs that are indicators of this is the transgender and homosexual movement.
Then there is the liberal medias pushing all the time to convince the public that our president Trump has been involved in some covert illegal activities. Whether or not this is true we cannot know, but the media presents it as though it is true without any evidence of it. They keep pushing and pushing to convince others of something for which they have no evidence, even fabricating evidence to pretend they have some. This is also a phenomena in personal relationships too. The devil uses the same tactics everywhere, messing with the mind of people according to their desires to turn them again people who have done no harm to them.
Many people in the church are convinced of things that are opposed to the Word of God. This also is growing in intensity and frequency.
We live in a culture that acts as though just saying something is tantamount to truth. They believe that speaking and believing is enough, truth has no place in a culture such as this.
When a culture bases what they believe on feelings and desires it is next to impossible to convince them of the truth. When a lie is told often enough to enough people soon no one can be convinced of anything different no matter how much evidence or proof.
We are now living in a culture of lies continually. Lying has been accepted as long as it make the hearer feel good, elevated and special.
I have come to the point in my life that I don't take seriously anything I did not see for myself. I will believe a trusted friend, but trusted friends are few and far between in our day.
I have actually witnessed a person pumping someone for information about others only to leave that person to go tell the others what was said about them, however, the information relayed was embellished to sound bad when it was not bad at all.
Those who would rush to tell gossip they heard about someone is not to be trusted with any information they say they hear.
I have to ask, "what kind of person would deliberately gather information hoping to rat out the person they are talking to, to the person they are talking about." Only a wicked person would do such a thing.
We all confide in friends who are loving and sympathetic, but it is folly to confide in self righteous people who love their gossip. Their only goal is to turn people against one another while appearing to remain friends on both sides.
Gossipers never listen to truth, they merely gather information to pass on with lavish amounts of embellishment to make the exchange exciting. It manages to elevate themselves, turn the hearer against the target as well as gaining the attentions of others who love the gossip.
There once was a man who declared to his parents that his sister was a bad parent even though he lived 2000 miles away, was never in her home and was not even talking to his sister in months and years. He wanted his parents to hate his sister so he gossiped things that were not true without any evidence. When the parents didn't believe him, he shouted at them in rage and never apologized for his evil gossip or actions. Believe it or not this man claimed to be a Christian having attended church all his life. His jealousy of the sister was blatantly clear but he never showed any remorse for his lies nor did he attempt to find out the truth.
Those who gossip and those who repeat a confidence are tools of the devil and must be avoided.
When we confide in a trusted friend something that happened to us personally is far different from gathering information to assume things that we never saw for ourselves.
The devil is the one who places evil thoughts in the minds of people and convinces them that what they are thinking is truth when it is monstrous and devastating. He loves to destroy relationships. We must avoid those who have no defense against the devil, whose heart is bent toward love of lies without evidence.
The good news is that we do not have to answer to the lies, we do not have to respond to anything said about us. Christ is our defender, He will fight our battles for us much more effectively than we ever could.
1 Peter 5:7-9 "…7 Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded and alert. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in your faith and in the knowledge that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering.…"
Psalm 18 :1-3
The Lord Praised for Giving Deliverance.
18 “I love You, O Lord, my strength.”
2 The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge;
My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
3 I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised,
And I am saved from my enemies."
Hallelujah we have victory in Christ and we don't even have to battle, He battles on our behalf.
The lies of the narcissist never stop in their own mind, they set out to convince others of these lies in order to have allies that align with them.
We see a lot of this in our interactions today. Many people make up stories in their own mind without strong evidence and judge the condition of someone else based on the machinations in their own mind.
When someone is rebellious they will make up ideas in their minds that fit with what they wish to believe about someone. They do not need evidence because their desire is so strong they can convince themselves, everything they see after that will be interpreted according to their desired beliefs.
One woman was accused by her son in law of never having engaged in anything productive outside her home and Sunday services at church.
This was so far from the truth it was laughable. This woman who was accused of having no influence or learning nothing in all her years had spoken on the radio, been on television, spoke at benevolent clubs and even in schools with messages of importance concerning the evil of pornography and abortion.
The son in law had not seen her doing these things because he was 10 years old living 3000 miles away when she was a young woman raising children as well as involvement in the community for twenty years.
His assessment of her was based on nothing more than his desired belief that she had done nothing significant in her life. This allowed him to dismiss her as nothing more than a foolish woman to be demeaned. In his desire to believe she was nothing more than a "house wife" allowed him to believe she lacked intelligence as well as boldness, the reason he felt justified in disrespecting her as much as he desired.
We know this is true because of all the people who are convinced that divorce and remarriage is acceptable. Other beliefs that are indicators of this is the transgender and homosexual movement.
Then there is the liberal medias pushing all the time to convince the public that our president Trump has been involved in some covert illegal activities. Whether or not this is true we cannot know, but the media presents it as though it is true without any evidence of it. They keep pushing and pushing to convince others of something for which they have no evidence, even fabricating evidence to pretend they have some. This is also a phenomena in personal relationships too. The devil uses the same tactics everywhere, messing with the mind of people according to their desires to turn them again people who have done no harm to them.
Many people in the church are convinced of things that are opposed to the Word of God. This also is growing in intensity and frequency.
We live in a culture that acts as though just saying something is tantamount to truth. They believe that speaking and believing is enough, truth has no place in a culture such as this.
When a culture bases what they believe on feelings and desires it is next to impossible to convince them of the truth. When a lie is told often enough to enough people soon no one can be convinced of anything different no matter how much evidence or proof.
We are now living in a culture of lies continually. Lying has been accepted as long as it make the hearer feel good, elevated and special.
I have come to the point in my life that I don't take seriously anything I did not see for myself. I will believe a trusted friend, but trusted friends are few and far between in our day.
I have actually witnessed a person pumping someone for information about others only to leave that person to go tell the others what was said about them, however, the information relayed was embellished to sound bad when it was not bad at all.
Those who would rush to tell gossip they heard about someone is not to be trusted with any information they say they hear.
I have to ask, "what kind of person would deliberately gather information hoping to rat out the person they are talking to, to the person they are talking about." Only a wicked person would do such a thing.
We all confide in friends who are loving and sympathetic, but it is folly to confide in self righteous people who love their gossip. Their only goal is to turn people against one another while appearing to remain friends on both sides.
Gossipers never listen to truth, they merely gather information to pass on with lavish amounts of embellishment to make the exchange exciting. It manages to elevate themselves, turn the hearer against the target as well as gaining the attentions of others who love the gossip.
There once was a man who declared to his parents that his sister was a bad parent even though he lived 2000 miles away, was never in her home and was not even talking to his sister in months and years. He wanted his parents to hate his sister so he gossiped things that were not true without any evidence. When the parents didn't believe him, he shouted at them in rage and never apologized for his evil gossip or actions. Believe it or not this man claimed to be a Christian having attended church all his life. His jealousy of the sister was blatantly clear but he never showed any remorse for his lies nor did he attempt to find out the truth.
Those who gossip and those who repeat a confidence are tools of the devil and must be avoided.
When we confide in a trusted friend something that happened to us personally is far different from gathering information to assume things that we never saw for ourselves.
The devil is the one who places evil thoughts in the minds of people and convinces them that what they are thinking is truth when it is monstrous and devastating. He loves to destroy relationships. We must avoid those who have no defense against the devil, whose heart is bent toward love of lies without evidence.
The good news is that we do not have to answer to the lies, we do not have to respond to anything said about us. Christ is our defender, He will fight our battles for us much more effectively than we ever could.
1 Peter 5:7-9 "…7 Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded and alert. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in your faith and in the knowledge that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering.…"
Psalm 18 :1-3
The Lord Praised for Giving Deliverance.
18 “I love You, O Lord, my strength.”
2 The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge;
My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
3 I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised,
And I am saved from my enemies."
Hallelujah we have victory in Christ and we don't even have to battle, He battles on our behalf.
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