Narcissists Earned the Deep Shame They Possess

The narcissist has deep shame because they know what they have done to others but rather than repenting they lay the blame on those they have harmed.

No one can blame their childhood or life experiences on anyone else but themselves. We can choose our path, either anger or love.

I have seen people who were deeply abused as children reject the way their families operated and become godly people who do not harm others.

I have seen people who weren't abused in childhood who grow up to abuse others because of their sense of superiority and that need to be dominant over others.

Our childhood influences us but it does not shape us. We choose which path we want to take, either anger or the love for others that they did not give us.

Ezekiel 18:19-23

"The soul that sins, it shall die. The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son: the righteousness of the righteous shall be upon him, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon him."

When we get before the Lord to be judged we will not be able to say to Him, "but Lord I was abused as a child." Nor will we be able to justify ourselves for our good deeds. We will not be able to say; "I had to be mean because others provoked me."

Everything we choose to do or be will be on us. Those who use excuses for mean behavior will be found guilty. Those who have repented from their ungodly behavior and trust in Christ will be accepted and are forgiven.

We do well to remember we never have a good excuse for bad behavior.

Be Who God Made You, Not What Others Think they Want You to Be

https://youtube.com/shorts/emv6ClmTgIM?si=hT_6gnxqEiRLqXjL

When the Narcissist Rages

Have you ever been in a family event when the narcissist rages at the slightest disagreement as though you did something wrong? I have encountered this many times in my life with arrogant family members.

I am 70 years old and have dealt with narcissism in my family all my life.

The reason we act differently around narcissists is that we know if we confront them they are going to rage in front of everyone and those who see it will think we did something wrong because the narcissist got mad.

The narcissist seems to have this much power over the flying monkeys and group-thinkers. The flying monkeys cannot see things for what they really are, they interpret the events according to the reaction of the narcissist.

This is just another way they operate, knowing the flying monkeys will not come against them. Those who boldly but kindly express their ideas, opinions or the truth of the Bible will be targets for those who dominate the group.

Everyone in these dysfunctional groups is more afraid of the narcissist than anything or anyone else.

The narcissist is afraid of the truth-teller, the reason they rage. Their insecurity and fear that they will be exposed as wrong sends them into a deeply defensive posture. Narcissists fear disapproval more than anything else. They depend on others to prop them up.

Since the narcissist is totally dependent on the praise and acceptance of others leaving them empty inside without it, they will defend themselves especially when they do not have answers.

Those who are emotionally and spiritually secure have no need to win in a disagreement or discussion. They have no need to be the center of attention or the best in the room. Those who are confident can accept differences and disagreements without feeling attacked.

The narcissist sees every disagreement as a personal attack. The secure person sees a disagreement for what it is, that is two people who have different points of view and are even curious why they think the way they do.

A narcissist never asks a person why they think the way they do because they don't want to know. If they did challenge a person to explain why they think the way they do it would be in an angry tone to fight against the answer, never to understand another person's point of view.

Note too that the one who is confident and bold but kind is the biggest threat to the narcissist. The narcissist will target a person like this if for no other reason than to bring them down in the eyes of others. If the narcissist cannot control or silence you through their tactics they will work to cause others to dislike and diminish you.

It would be almost laughable if it were not so tragic. It is not tragic for confident people who love God, but it is tragic for the narcissist who needs desperately to be superior and cannot feel content or peace unless they are getting their attention fix. After all, narcissists are addicted to the drugs of power and attention.

I no longer feel frustrated by the narcissists, what I feel is pity for those who cannot love, cannot be cooperative with anyone else, and whose soul is in constant torment and battle to be above others.

To become angry at these sad souls is to take them seriously as though they have any power over us at all. They only have power over us if we allow it. We must see them as broken and beggarly treating them as we would a bratty six-year-old. Stating the truth when led by the Holy Spirit and allowing the real them to emerge.

May God show them to themselves that they may have an opportunity to repent and be cleansed from their fear of life and hatred of God and others.

Sadly many in the modern church system have gravitated to the gatherings to find their narcissistic supply when others in the society will not put up with their nonsense. Often church attendees will coddle them as enablers when they should be rebuking them. And, even worse some of these narcissists are church leaders.

2 Timothy 4:2-4 "…2 Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and encourage with every form of patient instruction. 3 For the time will come when men will not tolerate sound doctrine, but with itching ears they will gather around themselves teachers to suit their own desires. 4 So they will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths."

Isaiah 30:10

"They say to the seers, "Stop seeing visions!" and to the prophets, "Do not prophesy to us the truth! Speak to us pleasant words; prophesy illusions."

2 Timothy 1:13

"Hold on to the pattern of sound teaching you have heard from me, with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus."

To comfort those of us who have encountered these people who are madly in love with themselves, remember God sees it all, all the time.

2 Chronicles 16:9,10

"For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him. Herein thou hast done foolishly: therefore from henceforth thou shalt have wars."

Hallelujah!

Honor Jesus Christ not Men!

Many Christians I have known have named their children after famous men in the Bible. I always wondered why they did this because there is no command to do so or even an example of this in the New Covenant of the New Testament.

 
In order to discern why someone would do this I asked the parents why they felt it was a benefit to their children to name them after famous Bible characters.

The answer I got from them all was that the parents, through naming their children after the Bible characters, would give the children something to live up to as they grow up.

The reason I felt no need to name our own children after famous Bible characters was that I saw no special blessing that came from doing so. The names of the prophets were not magic mantras that automatically created in the child a drivenness to follow Christ.

 
Notice when someone speaks of the prophets in considering a name for their child they only mention the good things of the prophets and never mention the failings.
The prophets were all flawed men used by God despite themselves. If we are going to identify our children with the prophets then we must also identify their flaws to have an accurate view of what God had to do in them. It was not the prophets who were great, it was God Who worked in them.

 
If I were going to name my child after the best name of all carried by the greatest sacrificial entity that they should follow I would name them Jesus.

 
Since, in my own thinking I could not name a child after Jesus because I associate only one person with that name. Even though the name "Jesus" was a common name during His time it still sits in a special position for me associated with Christ. No man can measure up to Jesus Christ so why name a child after any man from the Bible, unless they just like that name.

 
I have known many Christians who think naming a child after a prophet would cause that child to be so enamored with the prophet that they ultimately end up walking as that prophet walked. This never made sense to me because every human being chooses their own way, no manipulation or mantra will change who they are inside. Everyone must make their own choice to follow Christ.

 
However, in every single case I have known where the children were named after prophets of the Bible, the children with these names did not walk after Christ but they did walk in pride often against the word of God, even while calling themselves a Christian. I have lived most of my life on the West Coast where many if not most people walk in rebellion against the Bible while claiming to be Bible-believing. Their assertion that they believe the Bible is based almost entirely on emotions rather than an authentic dedicated walk to obey Christ.

 
My suggestion about those who name their children after prophets of the Bible is not to associate the character of the child with the prophets, but rather encourage the child to follow Christ forging their own walk in the shadow of our Lord and Savior.

 
I guess I view naming children after prophets is a way of boasting about the name and expecting the child to enhance that boast by becoming what the parents want them to become. It's sort of like saying; "I want you to be more like so and so." I remember hearing this when I was a small child, "why can't you be more like your brother", at six years old I was hurt and frustrated with this because I knew I was me and it was alright to be me.

 
I would never expect my children to walk after any man, they must choose to follow Christ, not men. And, they must deny themselves to be led by the Holy Spirit when they have repented and desired to be cleansed by Him.

 
My advice to all born-again believers is to follow Christ, not any man. The name of a person is the title they call him, it is superficial, but when Christ changes someone it is all about Him working in their lives.

 
I consider naming a child after Biblical characters as a form of "name dropping", the idea that the child will live up to the expectations of the parents to glorify them is repugnant to me.

 
I have loved my children despite themselves, even with my correction and rebuke to them as they grew up, my goal was that they follow Christ and live as He wanted them to live. It was done with love and dedication to Christ. What they did with my desire for them to become born-again and become Christ-like was entirely up to them.

 
In many cases, I see Christian parents who did their best even with their flaws and warts only to be rejected because the children resented authority, especially the Authority of Christ.

 
2 Timothy 4:2-4 "…2 Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and encourage with every form of patient instruction. 3 For the time will come when men will not tolerate sound doctrine, but with itching ears they will gather around themselves teachers to suit their own desires. 4 So they will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.'"

Any "work" we do to manipulate others' perception of us is not blessed by God. All our works must be to honor Him in obedience to His Word and not men.

It’s Getting Gloriously Dark – Tim Moore and Nathan Jones