Have you ever been in a family event when the narcissist rages at the slightest disagreement as though you did something wrong? I have encountered this many times in my life with arrogant family members.
I am 70 years old and have dealt with narcissism in my family all my life.
The narcissist seems to have this much power over the flying monkeys and group-thinkers. The flying monkeys cannot see things for what they really are, they interpret the events according to the reaction of the narcissist.
This is just another way they operate, knowing the flying monkeys will not come against them. Those who boldly but kindly express their ideas, opinions or the truth of the Bible will be targets for those who dominate the group.
Everyone in these dysfunctional groups is more afraid of the narcissist than anything or anyone else.
The narcissist is afraid of the truth-teller, the reason they rage. Their insecurity and fear that they will be exposed as wrong sends them into a deeply defensive posture. Narcissists fear disapproval more than anything else. They depend on others to prop them up.
Since the narcissist is totally dependent on the praise and acceptance of others leaving them empty inside without it, they will defend themselves especially when they do not have answers.
Those who are emotionally and spiritually secure have no need to win in a disagreement or discussion. They have no need to be the center of attention or the best in the room. Those who are confident can accept differences and disagreements without feeling attacked.
The narcissist sees every disagreement as a personal attack. The secure person sees a disagreement for what it is, that is two people who have different points of view and are even curious why they think the way they do.
A narcissist never asks a person why they think the way they do because they don't want to know. If they did challenge a person to explain why they think the way they do it would be in an angry tone to fight against the answer, never to understand another person's point of view.
Note too that the one who is confident and bold but kind is the biggest threat to the narcissist. The narcissist will target a person like this if for no other reason than to bring them down in the eyes of others. If the narcissist cannot control or silence you through their tactics they will work to cause others to dislike and diminish you.
It would be almost laughable if it were not so tragic. It is not tragic for confident people who love God, but it is tragic for the narcissist who needs desperately to be superior and cannot feel content or peace unless they are getting their attention fix. After all, narcissists are addicted to the drugs of power and attention.
I no longer feel frustrated by the narcissists, what I feel is pity for those who cannot love, cannot be cooperative with anyone else, and whose soul is in constant torment and battle to be above others.
To become angry at these sad souls is to take them seriously as though they have any power over us at all. They only have power over us if we allow it. We must see them as broken and beggarly treating them as we would a bratty six-year-old. Stating the truth when led by the Holy Spirit and allowing the real them to emerge.
May God show them to themselves that they may have an opportunity to repent and be cleansed from their fear of life and hatred of God and others.
Sadly many in the modern church system have gravitated to the gatherings to find their narcissistic supply when others in the society will not put up with their nonsense. Often church attendees will coddle them as enablers when they should be rebuking them. And, even worse some of these narcissists are church leaders.
2 Timothy 4:2-4 "…2 Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and encourage with every form of patient instruction. 3 For the time will come when men will not tolerate sound doctrine, but with itching ears they will gather around themselves teachers to suit their own desires. 4 So they will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths."
Isaiah 30:10
"They say to the seers, "Stop seeing visions!" and to the prophets, "Do not prophesy to us the truth! Speak to us pleasant words; prophesy illusions."
2 Timothy 1:13
"Hold on to the pattern of sound teaching you have heard from me, with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus."
To comfort those of us who have encountered these people who are madly in love with themselves, remember God sees it all, all the time.
2 Chronicles 16:9,10
"For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him. Herein thou hast done foolishly: therefore from henceforth thou shalt have wars."
Hallelujah!
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