"Narcissism: Second Timothy Three is Here"
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Wednesday, February 27, 2019
The Book is Out Now! "Narcissism: Second Timothy There is Here"
by Gwendolyn Wehage
"Narcissism: Second Timothy Three is Here"
"Narcissism: Second Timothy Three is Here"
Challenges Build the Muscles
We have so many challenges in this life, its good that we can see those snippets of time when things are lovely for a few minutes or hours and praise God for them.
The real test though is when we can see the difficult things as being blessings too. Knowing that the hardest times are when we learn the most if we are willing to learn. They are the times that build our spiritual and emotional muscle.
Those who do not learn turn bitter and angry, their spiritual and emotional muscles are weak and getting weaker. Those who learn move through the hard things with Christ stronger than ever.
Sometimes it is a strain to look through the hard things to the other side. We can't see the other side, so we must be fixated on the Word of God to trust that what is over there is some relief and a greater reward.
One has to break down the muscle to build it strong again. Any weight lifter will tell you that in order to build big muscles one has to damage the muscle first so that it becomes stronger when it heals.
God operates this way too, He brings challenges to show us what is inside of us. If anger comes out then there is more work for God to do. If we respond with thanksgiving and calmness then God will hone that to a greater level of trust in Him.
He breaks us to mend us stronger than we were before. We need to see our need to be able to confess our flaws so that Christ can heal our spiritual and emotional weakness.
James 1:2-8
2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,
3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.
4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.
7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord;
8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways."
Job 2:10 "10“You speak as a foolish woman speaks,” he told her. “Should we accept from God only good and not adversity?” In all this, Job did not sin in what he said."
Job knew what he was talking about. Few people have lost as much as Job lost and suffered as much as he did and yet he maintained his integrity with God and with others.
The real test though is when we can see the difficult things as being blessings too. Knowing that the hardest times are when we learn the most if we are willing to learn. They are the times that build our spiritual and emotional muscle.
Those who do not learn turn bitter and angry, their spiritual and emotional muscles are weak and getting weaker. Those who learn move through the hard things with Christ stronger than ever.
Sometimes it is a strain to look through the hard things to the other side. We can't see the other side, so we must be fixated on the Word of God to trust that what is over there is some relief and a greater reward.
One has to break down the muscle to build it strong again. Any weight lifter will tell you that in order to build big muscles one has to damage the muscle first so that it becomes stronger when it heals.
God operates this way too, He brings challenges to show us what is inside of us. If anger comes out then there is more work for God to do. If we respond with thanksgiving and calmness then God will hone that to a greater level of trust in Him.
He breaks us to mend us stronger than we were before. We need to see our need to be able to confess our flaws so that Christ can heal our spiritual and emotional weakness.
James 1:2-8
2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,
3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.
4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.
7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord;
8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways."
Job 2:10 "10“You speak as a foolish woman speaks,” he told her. “Should we accept from God only good and not adversity?” In all this, Job did not sin in what he said."
Job knew what he was talking about. Few people have lost as much as Job lost and suffered as much as he did and yet he maintained his integrity with God and with others.
Confessed Mistakes and Sin Help Us Grow
Narcissists associate mistakes with shame. Sadly all of us make mistakes. The only way a narcissist can feel good about self is to pretend they make no mistakes like others.
The most insecure people are those who must hide the mistakes they make to appear superior.
Those who are secure in Christ are not afraid to say, "I did something silly" or "I know I should have....."
The reason narcissists never grow beyond a bratty six year old mentality is because we cannot grow when we deny our mistakes, sins and failures, warts and flaws.
1 John 1:9 "
"9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Confession is cleansing promoting emotional and spiritual growth. Those that never confess do not grow.
The most insecure people are those who must hide the mistakes they make to appear superior.
Those who are secure in Christ are not afraid to say, "I did something silly" or "I know I should have....."
The reason narcissists never grow beyond a bratty six year old mentality is because we cannot grow when we deny our mistakes, sins and failures, warts and flaws.
1 John 1:9 "
"9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Confession is cleansing promoting emotional and spiritual growth. Those that never confess do not grow.
The Lie of the Century
Yes, the lie that we should forgive without repentance has led people to believe they do not need the forgiveness of anyone, not even God. Because those in the psychological industry have convinced people to forgive those who have sinned without requiring confession of sin, we have a generation now who doesn't believe God needs confession from them to be forgiven or their sin.
Give the Answer a Fool Deserve, that is No Answer at all!
Some tactics of the narcissist are evident to those who have been a target.
One of the things the narcissist say is "everyone else knows your like this", they have the sense that if they draw others in we will be demolished and give in to their whims. Even though there is no evidence that "everyone" knows the victim is crazy, they will assert it to bring frustration.
Gaslighting is a very deceptive tactic of the narcissist. They will accuse the victim of things that are not true that they did and the victim did not. Never attempt to defend yourself against these people, they love any response at all, it only feeds them more to be able to continue the attack. They love to fight while charging the victim with insanity.
I have actually seen this, the narcissist will brutally bludgeon someone with verbal rage until the victim is in a meltdown on the floor, crying and hysterical. When the narcissists sees this they become gleeful and their attack becomes worse. They then accuse their victim of becoming insane. The reality is that normal rational people do not take a melt down as an opportunity to be more intensely mean. A normal rational person feels empathy for the one who is hurting so badly that they would melt down in this way. The narcissist enjoys the power from causing the melt down in others, they see these people as weak and vulnerable. As they see it, the melt down is an opportunity to further dominate and hurt their victim.
I have heard all these things, every one of them. They poke at you until you become a basket case and then accuse their victim of going insane. A dead giveaway of narcissistic behavior is when they get worse when their victim is hurting the most.
They did their nonsense to cause a melt down so that they can accuse the victim of irrational behavior.
I witnessed a man sitting in a chair, swinging his leg, his face was turning red and he tried to appear calm and said, "you seem angry." He was visibly angry while accusing his victim of being angry when she was not. This is classic narcissism.
Beware when you were sure you did something right and the narcissist comes along and uses words like, "You are irrational" or "you are a liar." When we hear words like these after doing something good or right, then you can be sure you are dealing with the narcissist.
The narcissist never works to understand others their only goal is to dominate and control. It is impossible to have a rational, calm, loving conversation with anyone whose goal is domination and control. These people do not care about you one wit.
Be sure that the narcissist will accuse their victims of the things the narcissist is doing and their victims are not. When you see this do not allow it to diminish your perceptions. You know in your heart what your motives were and what actually happened. The narcissist wants you to believe you saw it all wrong and you were at fault.
I have had narcissists actually chastise me for doing a good deed that any normal person would appreciate. They do this because the cannot stand your joy or accomplishment. Jealousy is a huge factor in the motivation of the narcissist.
James 3:16
"For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice."
Proverbs 14:30
"A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot."
Sadly the narcissist harms themselves more than their victims when the victim begins to see what is happening. No one can stand up to the narcissistic nonsense forever, eventually they are going to say enough is enough.
The narcissist only gains temporary power over others, eventually they will be alone and more miserable than they already are for their efforts to be elevated above others.
1 Corinthians 3:3
"For you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way?"
Romans 12:21
"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."
The answer to this problem is to remove ourselves from the narcissist. When we have to encounter them or live with them, then the best way to handle them is not to respond to the attacks, pray and gain strength from God as we never respond in kind. We must not become like them.
Never attempt to explain anything to the narcissist, merely state the truth and remain calm.
Proverbs 26:4-5
4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly,
Or you will also be like him.
5 Answer a fool as his folly deserves,
That he not be wise in his own eyes.
The answer to the fool is no answer at all that is what they deserve.
One of the things the narcissist say is "everyone else knows your like this", they have the sense that if they draw others in we will be demolished and give in to their whims. Even though there is no evidence that "everyone" knows the victim is crazy, they will assert it to bring frustration.
Gaslighting is a very deceptive tactic of the narcissist. They will accuse the victim of things that are not true that they did and the victim did not. Never attempt to defend yourself against these people, they love any response at all, it only feeds them more to be able to continue the attack. They love to fight while charging the victim with insanity.
I have actually seen this, the narcissist will brutally bludgeon someone with verbal rage until the victim is in a meltdown on the floor, crying and hysterical. When the narcissists sees this they become gleeful and their attack becomes worse. They then accuse their victim of becoming insane. The reality is that normal rational people do not take a melt down as an opportunity to be more intensely mean. A normal rational person feels empathy for the one who is hurting so badly that they would melt down in this way. The narcissist enjoys the power from causing the melt down in others, they see these people as weak and vulnerable. As they see it, the melt down is an opportunity to further dominate and hurt their victim.
I have heard all these things, every one of them. They poke at you until you become a basket case and then accuse their victim of going insane. A dead giveaway of narcissistic behavior is when they get worse when their victim is hurting the most.
They did their nonsense to cause a melt down so that they can accuse the victim of irrational behavior.
I witnessed a man sitting in a chair, swinging his leg, his face was turning red and he tried to appear calm and said, "you seem angry." He was visibly angry while accusing his victim of being angry when she was not. This is classic narcissism.
Beware when you were sure you did something right and the narcissist comes along and uses words like, "You are irrational" or "you are a liar." When we hear words like these after doing something good or right, then you can be sure you are dealing with the narcissist.
The narcissist never works to understand others their only goal is to dominate and control. It is impossible to have a rational, calm, loving conversation with anyone whose goal is domination and control. These people do not care about you one wit.
Be sure that the narcissist will accuse their victims of the things the narcissist is doing and their victims are not. When you see this do not allow it to diminish your perceptions. You know in your heart what your motives were and what actually happened. The narcissist wants you to believe you saw it all wrong and you were at fault.
I have had narcissists actually chastise me for doing a good deed that any normal person would appreciate. They do this because the cannot stand your joy or accomplishment. Jealousy is a huge factor in the motivation of the narcissist.
James 3:16
"For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice."
Proverbs 14:30
"A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot."
Sadly the narcissist harms themselves more than their victims when the victim begins to see what is happening. No one can stand up to the narcissistic nonsense forever, eventually they are going to say enough is enough.
The narcissist only gains temporary power over others, eventually they will be alone and more miserable than they already are for their efforts to be elevated above others.
1 Corinthians 3:3
"For you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way?"
Romans 12:21
"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."
The answer to this problem is to remove ourselves from the narcissist. When we have to encounter them or live with them, then the best way to handle them is not to respond to the attacks, pray and gain strength from God as we never respond in kind. We must not become like them.
Never attempt to explain anything to the narcissist, merely state the truth and remain calm.
Proverbs 26:4-5
4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly,
Or you will also be like him.
5 Answer a fool as his folly deserves,
That he not be wise in his own eyes.
The answer to the fool is no answer at all that is what they deserve.
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