Some of the modern books written for the Christian woman are
not based on God's description of a wife but base their beliefs in human
tradition and man made rules.
I once read an article about a woman who had a husband who
is always late to everything. This woman
asked an older woman what she should do.
Should she remind him or just let him be late, because he was the leader
and should manage his own time. The older
woman advised her to let him be late, don't say anything. When the woman brought this to her husband to
get his thoughts, he rebuked the other woman.
His response was "you are my help mate; it is up to you to help me
be on time by telling me when it is time to go."
I read one of the Pearl
books and was sadly disappointed. Much of what was said was out of context and
even tradition rather than scripture.
Mr. Pearl in one of them suggested that the man buy the cloths for his
wife, she was not to buy her own cloths.
This is exactly opposite of the Proverbs 31 woman, she is to buy even
her husbands cloths and all the cloths in the household.
Proverbs 31:10....
Who[b] can find a virtuous[c] wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
15 She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.
17 She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
20 She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
22 She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
25 Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates."
The woman is the manager of the house, she has been given
that calling by God, not her husband.
She provides all the needs of her household as we see in the above
passages.
She is to mandate the household functions and the husband is
to submit to that. When she makes a rule that the shoes come off at the front
door then the husband should comply.
When she serves dinner at a certain time, then he should be
there, of course she takes into account the family needs and acts accordingly.
She is a busy, capable woman who makes many decisions on her
own without her husbands consent, even buying a field without him.
The slavery
mentality toward women, that has been
brewing since the 70's has been an over reaction to the feminist movement. We don't have to over react, we can know the
Word, obey it and forget about pushing back by making rules that God never
intended.
I have been oppressed myself by those who think that I
should ask my husband what color to paint a room or anything else in the
household. He knows that it is my job to
decorate, I take into account his tastes too, but I do not consult with him
when I want to paint a room.
Often he comes home to something new or changed. God says in Proverbs, "her husband
safely trusts her", because she has been proven to be capable. My husband would be upset if I bothered him
with every detail of the home, as it is he gets to come home after working hard
all day and sees that everything is done, he has no need to work at home too,
except in a case where something is too hard or heavy for me.
We need to stop reading these cultic style marriage books
written as an over reaction and begin just seeking God.
Read Proverbs 31, in that passage the woman is very busy,
capable in her own right, alleviates the pressure of the home on her husband by
making decisions so he does not have to make.
It is a relief to my husband that he does not have to make
decisions on things that do not interest him, such as decorating, dishes for
the kitchen, hair style, clothing style or floor and window coverings. He
enjoys them when they are done, but does not want to do the job of deciding
them.
I chose all the furniture in our house, I took into account
his likes as well as my own, but he never saw it until it arrived at our door,
he was very pleased and thankful he did not have to go furniture shopping and
he enjoyed my choices.
We can see all these principles for caring for the home in
Proverbs 31, no where in that passage does God say to be sure and consult with
your husband before doing any of it.
In our case my husband is in charge of the finances because
he is good at it, I know of other marriages where the husband is not interested
in the book keeping and it has been given to the wife because she is proficient
in it. There is no scripture that says
that the man is to be in charge of the finances. Whoever is gifted in this area should be the
one to manage it.
The man is the leader in spiritual and political matters,
that is his calling and the wife is to help him become successful in that, by
her conduct at home and her community activities.
God says in Proverbs that the husband is respected in the
city gates because of the efficiency and wisdom of his wife. A wife can make or break a husband by not
doing well in the things God has given her to do, such as homemaking,
hospitality, charity work as well as helping him in his profession if need
be.
Any feminist who thinks that homemaking is nothing
important, is ignorant of the duties of
the homemaker and the power that she has over her entire household. A man will do better in business when he has
a capable woman taking care of things at home, while being available to help
her husband in his job and ministry.
The feminist movement has produced two things, the first
thing is very selfish and demanding woman on the one hand and on the other hand
the Christian women who over react and become robotic mindless slaves who don't
know how to manage anything. They have
been relieved of their brain in favor of indentured servitude, almost
resembling the mentality of the Muslim woman.
God is not a God of oppression but freedom, within His
principles we can be highly skilled, wise, giving and a servant to all, of our
own free choice. If our husbands follow
the Proverbs 31 model, they will not only be blessed by it, but will enjoy
their accomplished and confident wife, a companion and confidant.
May the Lord show Christian women His way, not the way of
human thinking or over reactive ideas.
