Too many parents believe they can "train" their children to be Christians and when they are old they will not depart from it. This is a passage from the Bible in part but in the total Biblical understanding it does not hold up.
God gives us many general principles that are the best way to do things, without a guarantee that our children will become what we want them to by our training.
1 Corinthians 3:6-8
"6 I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase.
7 So then neither is he that plants any thing, neither he that waters; but God that gives the increase.
8 Now he that plants and he that waters are one: and every man shall receive his own reward according to his own labor."
Yes, we are responsible to train them and they are responsible to accept that training. When they reject it, that is on them.
Arrogant and self-righteous young people raising children have a tendency to blame parents for how children turn out. This is not only a lack of Biblical knowledge it is prideful to think that we can do everything perfectly to cause our children to obey Christ. That would be nothing more than manipulation.
Ezekiel 18:20-21 "20 The soul who sins is the one who will die. A son will not bear the iniquity of his father, and a father will not bear the iniquity of his son. The righteousness of the righteous man will fall upon him, and the wickedness of the wicked man will fall upon him. 21 But if the wicked man turns from all the sins he has committed, keeps all My statutes, and does what is just and right, he will surely live; he will not die.…"
I have known adults who were raised in a Christian environment with all the truth given to them necessary for repenting and becoming born-again and yet the child or children chose the way of the world rejecting Christ in their heart when they left their parent's home.
While it is true that "more is caught than taught", our example in living out the way we talk has more power than our words, there will be pompous and independently-minded children who will go the easy road to fit into the world. After all, the devil is very clever in making parents look bad and the world look wildly fun.
In other words, the real heart of the child is revealed when they leave home and begin making their own choices, no longer under their parent's rule, they often choose the world.
I see too often too that the parents of these rebellious children give up and give in to keep the child in their lives. These parents know they might lose their child if they do not endorse the sinful lifestyle. They also know they may be cut off from their grandchildren.
While I have prayed often for my children and grandchildren, I cannot make them first in my life, it is Christ Who is first. If I lose everything to follow Christ then so be it.
We are responsible to do our best as we raise our children, however, the responsibility to trust in Christ for themselves is on the child.
It is foolish to judge a parent based on the lifestyle of the adult children. Those who wish to appear superior will judge others while their own household is lacking in faith, we know this because those who judge others have a heart problem that will infect their entire family. Pride, self-righteousness and resistance to correction in the Word is present in households that have a tendency to base their judging on how good they think they are doing. Pride is a family destroyer.
I have known adult children who came from evil family backgrounds but they trusted Christ somewhere along the way. I have known adult children who have been raised in church and on Bible reading all their young lives who rejected Christ once they had left home.
Just remember, we are only the messengers, we must remain strong, speak truth often and walk the way we talk, this is our only responsibility. We are not responsible for the results of obedience to Christ, He will do His work we must trust Him for His work.
We have many spiritual brothers and sisters who have been through family rejection for their staunchness in remaining faithful to the gospel.
Luke 12:51-53
"Do you think that I have come to give peace on earth? No, I tell you, but rather division. For from now on in one house there will be five divided, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”
Micah 7:6
"For the son treats the father with contempt, the daughter rises up against her mother, the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; a man's enemies are the men of his own house."
Our reward in heaven if far more amazing than anything we go through on this earth. Look up, seek Christ and stay strong and all the rejection will pale in comparison to our walk with the Lord and our coming inheritance.
Psalm 5:11
"But let all who take refuge in You be glad,
Let them ever sing for joy;
And may You shelter them,
That those who love Your name may exult in You."
Psalm 32:11
"Be glad in the Lord and rejoice you righteous ones;
And shout for joy, all you who are upright in heart."
