I do not subscribe to the notion that narcissists are created because of abuse against them.
Narcissists are people who have been treated special and some have been abused but their decision to be selfish and rude isn't because of how they were treated, it is because they choose to use circumstances as excuses to be what they like, which is domineering, rude and mean.
We are not animals who respond to stimuli, we are human beings who make our own choices because sin lurks in every heart. We can choose goodness and Christ or we can choose our own selfish way influenced by the devil and our fallen flesh. The devil uses our own fallen flesh to entice us to believe lots of things that are not true.
Christ in born-again believers influences them to walk in love, joy, peace, gentleness, kindness, and self-control. These are the fruit of the Spirit and one can only have them if they are in the Spirit of Christ.
Narcissists are those who enjoy hurting others to elevate themselves. This is what the devil does, he enjoys hurting others and loves to influence narcissists to do the same. We are seeing this mentality growing in these last days of apostasy because the devil knows his time is short and he also knows there are far more people open to excusing and even endorsing bad behavior than ever before.
How someone is treated as a child does not cause them to be hateful and mean it just gives them an excuse. I have known many people who were treated badly who made the choice not to be like those who raised them.
There is an old saying that states; "we can become bitter or better because of our trials." We always have a choice about what we want to be.
An angry person prefers anger because it makes them feel powerful. A kind person prefers kindness because they hate harming others. Empathetic people will think of others first and always and an angry person will think of themselves first and always.
We all must have boundaries in place that are rational and reasonable so that we do not become "people pleasers" to the detriment of others and ourselves. However, those who have love in their hearts want to place themselves in the shoes of others to understand them while giving them the benefit of the doubt.
Narcissists who are continually angry love their anger and what it causes in those at whom they rage. They love to see the cowering and the fear and even tears in those they torment.
The devil is working hard to cause relationship problems where there need not be any. He makes small matter seem terrible and diminishes the good works of those who love Christ.
In short, the devil does exactly the opposite of what Christ would do. He says the opposite of what Christ would say, while diminishing righteousness and exalting sin.
1 Peter 5:8 "
"Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."
Do not allow the devil to use people to cause reactions in you. The desired effect of the devil is to cause us to sin the way he has caused his minion to rage against us. We must be the opposite of what the devil wants for us.
When we answer a fool according to his foolishness we become like him.
Proverbs 15:1-2 "A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness."
We must always compare what is being done and said with God's Word, or we may become confused because it is certain that the culture as a whole is led by the devil. Those who are led by Christ are few in these last days. We cannot measure what is right by how many people follow something, we must measure it by God's Word and this will find us on the outs with the rest of the culture and most people.
