"Obey your husband in all things"?
"If someone will not work do not let him eat."?
These and other phrases have been followed to the letter OUT OF CONTEXT to the shame of those who call themselves Christians.
When we read the Bible, we see that women are to obey their husbands when they obey Christ. Abigail is an excellent example of a woman who disobeyed her husband in order to honor God and that she was blessed by God for her faithfulness to Him. And, notice her husband was killed, his heart was turned to stone. I suspect God did this to show what a terrible man he was and demonstrate what abusiveness does to the human heart. Abigail became the wife of the King after that, remember taking scripture out of context to make it say what you would like it to say to be able to misuse and abuse wives could turn one's heart to stone spiritually. In Nabal's case, it was literally stone.
In the matter of not allowing someone to eat who does not work much of the Bible would be ignored to follow that standard.
The principle clearly shows that any able-bodied man must be working to earn the family income. We are not to hand out food to a man who wants to be handed everything without working for it. This is God's way, accountability works when teaching will not.
However, this mandate to withhold food from those who will not work does not extend to the elderly who cannot work long days anymore. If we were to apply the principle of working to eat to those who cannot work then we are moving from the realm of reasonable expectation into cruelty.
It would be cruel to expect a woman to obey a man who is pushing her into prostitution or abusing her physically and emotionally just to have his own way.
When people use scripture out of context to support their own desired belief they are rejecting Christ as well as being the example of an apostate to his family. All leaders will be accountable for the ways they abuse scripture to get their own way.
The Spirit of the Law ought always to be seen in "the purpose of the Law" not merely the rule itself. For example, the purpose of the Law concerning women obeying their husbands is for the husband to be a proper godly leader who cares more about his family and their Spiritual protection and growth than he does about his own needs or desires. The Spirit of the principles of women obeying their husbands speaks to the protection of the family, not the abuse merely to control. This would be a sin against God.
I once heard a wicked man claim that "all things work together for those who are in Christ", therefore the woman in abuse must put up with it to learn a lesson God has for her. This may be true that a woman of God may have to endure a wicked husband, but it also means the husband will be punished for his abuse of the wife. No born-again believing man should ever condone what a wicked man is doing to his wife. If he does this the believer will see the wrath of God for misleading others in his tyrannical example.
Any husband who shouts orders in range boss fashion expecting to be obeyed without discussion is a tyrant and most likely an infidel. Husbands who love their wives desire the best for them, they love to see their wives excel for their own sake.
Some husbands want their wives to excel to glorify the husband but this is not godly. The role of the husband is to protect the family and serve them so that everyone is respected and protected, it's a service position the husband should not operate as a dictator oppressing everyone. This is not love to oppress others, it is also not love to show favoritism within the family.
Ephesians 5:25-29
"25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,
27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.
28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church."
When we look at the Spirit behind not allowing a lazy person to eat, we must realize it applies to lazy able-bodied people, not to those who are informed or aging without strength. If we use the phrase out of context it would negate the other passages that command us to give to the poor while taking care of widows and orphans.
Luke 12:33-34
33 “Sell your possessions and give to charity; make yourselves money belts that do not wear out, an inexhaustible treasure in heaven, where no thief comes near nor does a moth destroy. 34 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
A husband who honors his wife and lovingly denies himself to care for her needs is storing up treasures in heaven.
A person who gives to the poor as led by the Holy Spirit in caring for those who cannot care for themselves is storing up treasures in heaven.
The principle being discussed here is that we should always read the entire context of a chapter as well as the context of the entire Bible before arrogantly making rules for others that we think are benefit ourselves.
I have never met a person who makes rules for others using intimidation and manipulation who was kind and loving, they are always rude, mean, and selfish. They make their own rules to glorify themselves, they are not content to just be something themselves, they must force others to comply with their rules. An attitude of superiority is the culprit behind those who make unbiblical rules and claim God did it.
Those who remove passages from their context for personal aggrandizement will be judged for misquoting and misusing His Word to glorify self. May they repent before God makes them a heart of stone as he did Nabal, Abigails husband.
Any husband who forces his wife to disobey him to honor God will be in danger of hardening his own heart.
Jeremiah 18:12
"But they will say, ‘It’s hopeless! For we are going to follow our own plans, and each of us will act according to the stubbornness of his evil heart.’"