Envy is "I want what you have" and Jealousy is "I don't want you to have it." These traits lead to the downfall of angry people.
Thursday, June 26, 2025
Christ is all we Need all the Time
In high school or college, were you the one who showed up at a reunion after ten years of being in the world, thinking that people may have changed and grown up and the people you knew were now reasonable, rational, and kind adults, only to realize most of them had not changed? Many were divorced, remarried, or living in sin together with no commitment. Their lives were a mess and they were getting older, life did not afford them the highs that used to come in youth.
The cliques were still as strong as ever, and the ones who were wallflowers were still seen as an oddity, just as they were in high school.
In case you have never heard the term "wallflower," it means you were invisible (blending into the wall unseen) and sometimes mocked for being different from the herd.
Since you didn't think the way of the herd, you didn't follow what the herd was doing, and you dared to have your own thoughts while disliking all the superficial banter and competition so prevalent among the groupthinkers.
They were still as immature at the 10th reunion as they were when they were in high school. Were they just as immature at the 20th reunion and the 30th and even the 40th reunions as they were when they were in high school?
As I observed life, I realized that the most popular people in these institutions were always those who had somewhat of a rebellious streak, clamoring for attention as though their lives depended on it. And often their lives were empty without the group that propped them up.
Looking back, I see those who were the happiest in life were those who were selfless and comfortable in their own skin without the need for superficial validation from others.
I have also noticed that the people who turn to Christ and have the humility to admit their lost plight and seek Christ for salvation lose their need to be adored or seen as superior by people. Christ has given them such joy and peace as well as dependence on Him that they are as comfortable completely alone as they are with others who love Him as much as they do.
For the born-again believer, life is not about being better than anyone else, it is more about growing and becoming more Christ like within ourselves. Those who seek to be superior must always be judging the small matters of others to gain the feeling of dominance and supremacy.
Spiritual and emotional depth cannot occur when someone is dependent on others to prop them up. The emotional and Spiritual depth takes place from completely depending on Christ. Those who love Christ have no need to feel superior or dominant over anyone else. They know they were nothing before they had Christ, and after He came to live in them, He is everything to them.
There are those in the world who are able to operate without continual accolades from people however, they are never as completely free to be themselves as believers are who have Christ living in them.
Philippians 1:20-22 "20I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have complete boldness so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. 21For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. 22But if I go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. So what shall I choose? I do not know."
Galatians 2:20
"I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me."
There is a terrible and fearful burden associated with continually clamoring to be seen and elevated by people.
2 Corinthians 5:8
"We are confident, then, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord."
Romans 14:8
"If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord."
All praise to Jesus Christ that He is all we need all the time!!!!!
The cliques were still as strong as ever, and the ones who were wallflowers were still seen as an oddity, just as they were in high school.
In case you have never heard the term "wallflower," it means you were invisible (blending into the wall unseen) and sometimes mocked for being different from the herd.
Since you didn't think the way of the herd, you didn't follow what the herd was doing, and you dared to have your own thoughts while disliking all the superficial banter and competition so prevalent among the groupthinkers.
They were still as immature at the 10th reunion as they were when they were in high school. Were they just as immature at the 20th reunion and the 30th and even the 40th reunions as they were when they were in high school?
As I observed life, I realized that the most popular people in these institutions were always those who had somewhat of a rebellious streak, clamoring for attention as though their lives depended on it. And often their lives were empty without the group that propped them up.
Looking back, I see those who were the happiest in life were those who were selfless and comfortable in their own skin without the need for superficial validation from others.
I have also noticed that the people who turn to Christ and have the humility to admit their lost plight and seek Christ for salvation lose their need to be adored or seen as superior by people. Christ has given them such joy and peace as well as dependence on Him that they are as comfortable completely alone as they are with others who love Him as much as they do.
For the born-again believer, life is not about being better than anyone else, it is more about growing and becoming more Christ like within ourselves. Those who seek to be superior must always be judging the small matters of others to gain the feeling of dominance and supremacy.
Spiritual and emotional depth cannot occur when someone is dependent on others to prop them up. The emotional and Spiritual depth takes place from completely depending on Christ. Those who love Christ have no need to feel superior or dominant over anyone else. They know they were nothing before they had Christ, and after He came to live in them, He is everything to them.
There are those in the world who are able to operate without continual accolades from people however, they are never as completely free to be themselves as believers are who have Christ living in them.
Philippians 1:20-22 "20I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have complete boldness so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. 21For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. 22But if I go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. So what shall I choose? I do not know."
Galatians 2:20
"I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me."
There is a terrible and fearful burden associated with continually clamoring to be seen and elevated by people.
2 Corinthians 5:8
"We are confident, then, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord."
Romans 14:8
"If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord."
All praise to Jesus Christ that He is all we need all the time!!!!!
The Insult Sandwich
I love what Jefferson Fisher said when he described what he calls the "insult sandwich" when we have something difficult to tell someone, psychology says to compliment the person first that's the top piece of bread, then tell them the hard thing, which is the filling in the middle and the bottom piece of bread is more phony compliments.
As I was listening to this video, I remember hearing this method years ago, thinking it was silly. The reason it seemed silly to me was because it was disingenuous, meaning insincere and manipulative with flattery.
At the end of the sandwich, the person doesn't trust us because we used flattery and manipulation to soften the blow of the problem that needed to be discussed, but still had to address the ugly thing.
So much of psychology is focused on each person feeling good about themselves at the end of it, but they still end up having to deal with feelings of disappointment. The only person the insult sandwich helps is the one who has to deliver the sad news, feeling better about having to do it.
It is better to speak the truth up front and allow everyone to work through whatever feelings they are going to have. Life is hard, it is disappointing at times, but these difficulties are what make us into stronger people if we accept them and learn from them.
Honesty really is the best policy, and immediate honesty given in genuine love and concern without flattery, manipulation, or psychological tricks is the best way, it is God's way.
God is all about honesty without manipulation. Over the years, I learned that those who use flattery generously are those whom one cannot trust. They have a hard time speaking about difficult things, so they slather it in sugar to disguise the problem.
I remember the feeling many years ago of being with someone who was a continual flatterer; my sense at the end of the visit was to go home and take a shower to wash off all the honey.
Ephesians 4:25 "Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another."
John 8:32 "And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free".
Zechariah 8:16 "These are the things you must do: Speak truth to one another, render true and sound judgments in your gates,"
Colossians 3:9 "Do not lie to one another, since you have taken off the old self with its practices,"
Proverbs 12:22 "Lying lips are detestable to the LORD, but those who deal faithfully are His delight."
1 Peter 3:10 "For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech."
Flattery is deceitful speech; this is what God says about it.
Proverbs 29:5 "A man that flattereth his neighbour spreadeth a net for his feet."
The purpose of flattery is to disarm someone to be able to more fully manipulate them.
Love does not flatter or manipulate; it speaks boldly with love and concern for the one to whom it speaks. Protecting oneself through manipulation does not help others; truth and honesty do.
Psalm 12:2 "They lie to one another; they speak with flattering lips and a double heart."
Psalm 55:21 "His speech is smooth as butter, but war is in his heart. His words are softer than oil, yet they are swords unsheathed."
Jeremiah 9:8 "Their tongues are deadly arrows; they speak deception. With his mouth a man speaks peace to his neighbor, but in his heart he sets a trap for him."
Honesty and integrity have been removed from our culture in favor of soft answers with deceitful expectations. In other words, when we use psychology in the "insult sandwich," we are more concerned about controlling the outcome through manipulation than we are about each person involved learning and growing as they work through a problem.
May the Bible be our guide and not the secular psychologists who have looked to faulty human wisdom to solve what only God can solve with real and lasting solutions from His Word.
As I was listening to this video, I remember hearing this method years ago, thinking it was silly. The reason it seemed silly to me was because it was disingenuous, meaning insincere and manipulative with flattery.
At the end of the sandwich, the person doesn't trust us because we used flattery and manipulation to soften the blow of the problem that needed to be discussed, but still had to address the ugly thing.
So much of psychology is focused on each person feeling good about themselves at the end of it, but they still end up having to deal with feelings of disappointment. The only person the insult sandwich helps is the one who has to deliver the sad news, feeling better about having to do it.
It is better to speak the truth up front and allow everyone to work through whatever feelings they are going to have. Life is hard, it is disappointing at times, but these difficulties are what make us into stronger people if we accept them and learn from them.
Honesty really is the best policy, and immediate honesty given in genuine love and concern without flattery, manipulation, or psychological tricks is the best way, it is God's way.
God is all about honesty without manipulation. Over the years, I learned that those who use flattery generously are those whom one cannot trust. They have a hard time speaking about difficult things, so they slather it in sugar to disguise the problem.
I remember the feeling many years ago of being with someone who was a continual flatterer; my sense at the end of the visit was to go home and take a shower to wash off all the honey.
Ephesians 4:25 "Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another."
John 8:32 "And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free".
Zechariah 8:16 "These are the things you must do: Speak truth to one another, render true and sound judgments in your gates,"
Colossians 3:9 "Do not lie to one another, since you have taken off the old self with its practices,"
Proverbs 12:22 "Lying lips are detestable to the LORD, but those who deal faithfully are His delight."
1 Peter 3:10 "For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech."
Flattery is deceitful speech; this is what God says about it.
Proverbs 29:5 "A man that flattereth his neighbour spreadeth a net for his feet."
The purpose of flattery is to disarm someone to be able to more fully manipulate them.
Love does not flatter or manipulate; it speaks boldly with love and concern for the one to whom it speaks. Protecting oneself through manipulation does not help others; truth and honesty do.
Psalm 12:2 "They lie to one another; they speak with flattering lips and a double heart."
Psalm 55:21 "His speech is smooth as butter, but war is in his heart. His words are softer than oil, yet they are swords unsheathed."
Jeremiah 9:8 "Their tongues are deadly arrows; they speak deception. With his mouth a man speaks peace to his neighbor, but in his heart he sets a trap for him."
Honesty and integrity have been removed from our culture in favor of soft answers with deceitful expectations. In other words, when we use psychology in the "insult sandwich," we are more concerned about controlling the outcome through manipulation than we are about each person involved learning and growing as they work through a problem.
May the Bible be our guide and not the secular psychologists who have looked to faulty human wisdom to solve what only God can solve with real and lasting solutions from His Word.
The Modern Lie of Friendliness with the World
The more we focus on Christ and His calling for us, the more this will cost us family and long-time friends.
Most people remain our friends when we are satisfied with stagnation or when we validate all their worldly ideas and pleasures.
When we grow and change with the help of the Holy Spirit, it will be off-putting to most people who say they are Christians. We no longer experience life the same way that our friends and family view it, everything we see, do, and say is infused with the principles and thoughts of God.
We no longer want the things of the world, even though we move within it and enjoy many things about our lives. This world is only the place we live and work for Christ until He takes us home.
Our connection with people is all about Him continually and works well when we are in company of others who think the way we do. This radical dedication to Christ is driven by the Holy Spirit Who guides and trains us every single day, unless we ignore Him, then He will go silent until we return to obedience.
1 Thessalonians 5:19-22
"19 Do not quench the Spirit, 20 do not utterly reject prophecies, 21 but examine everything; hold firmly to that which is good, 22 abstain from every form of evil."
Ephesians 4:30
"And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption."
Galatians 5:16-17
"So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh craves what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are opposed to each other, so that you do not do what you want."
When we seek Christ every day to be more like Him and to be directed continually by Him we will become despised by the world and even some people who say they are Christians.
The modern church system wants "Christians" to keep their faith in that designated building while walking with the world when they leave it so they can fit in with the world. The excuse I have heard many times is "to win the world we must be like them." This phrase comes in many forms, but essentially it is the same mentality that is "to be liked and friends with the world, will make the world like Jesus." It is a false teaching and must be discarded.
It is not true, being friends with the world makes us like them. They do not come to Jesus Christ because we were friendly and accommodating; they pretend to be Christians because of those who compromise their walk with Christ to be loved by the world.
John 15:18-20 "18 If the world hates you, understand that it hated Me first. 19 If you were of the world, it would love you as its own. Instead, the world hates you because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. 20 Remember the word that I spoke to you: ‘No servant is greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will persecute you as well; if they kept My word, they will keep yours as well.…"
When we walk with Christ in a radical dedication to Him the world will hate us even while claiming to be Christian.
James 4:4 "You adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore, whoever chooses to be a friend of the world renders himself an enemy of God."
John 15:18-25
Disciples’ Relation to the World
18 “If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you.
19 If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, because of this the world hates you.
20 Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A slave is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will persecute you as well; if they followed My word, they will follow yours also.
21 But all these things they will do to you on account of My name, because they do not know the One who sent Me.
22 If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not have sin; but now they have no excuse for their sin.
23 The one who hates Me hates My Father also.
24 If I had not done among them the works which no one else did, they would not have sin; but now they have both seen and hated Me and My Father as well.
25 But this has happened so that the word that is written in their Law will be fulfilled: ‘They hated Me for no reason.’"
Those who are attempting to manipulate the world to like them are themselves worldly. These people hate Christ even when they pretend to love Him, and they hate us because we love Him.
Most people remain our friends when we are satisfied with stagnation or when we validate all their worldly ideas and pleasures.
When we grow and change with the help of the Holy Spirit, it will be off-putting to most people who say they are Christians. We no longer experience life the same way that our friends and family view it, everything we see, do, and say is infused with the principles and thoughts of God.
We no longer want the things of the world, even though we move within it and enjoy many things about our lives. This world is only the place we live and work for Christ until He takes us home.
Our connection with people is all about Him continually and works well when we are in company of others who think the way we do. This radical dedication to Christ is driven by the Holy Spirit Who guides and trains us every single day, unless we ignore Him, then He will go silent until we return to obedience.
1 Thessalonians 5:19-22
"19 Do not quench the Spirit, 20 do not utterly reject prophecies, 21 but examine everything; hold firmly to that which is good, 22 abstain from every form of evil."
Ephesians 4:30
"And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption."
Galatians 5:16-17
"So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh craves what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are opposed to each other, so that you do not do what you want."
When we seek Christ every day to be more like Him and to be directed continually by Him we will become despised by the world and even some people who say they are Christians.
The modern church system wants "Christians" to keep their faith in that designated building while walking with the world when they leave it so they can fit in with the world. The excuse I have heard many times is "to win the world we must be like them." This phrase comes in many forms, but essentially it is the same mentality that is "to be liked and friends with the world, will make the world like Jesus." It is a false teaching and must be discarded.
It is not true, being friends with the world makes us like them. They do not come to Jesus Christ because we were friendly and accommodating; they pretend to be Christians because of those who compromise their walk with Christ to be loved by the world.
John 15:18-20 "18 If the world hates you, understand that it hated Me first. 19 If you were of the world, it would love you as its own. Instead, the world hates you because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. 20 Remember the word that I spoke to you: ‘No servant is greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will persecute you as well; if they kept My word, they will keep yours as well.…"
When we walk with Christ in a radical dedication to Him the world will hate us even while claiming to be Christian.
James 4:4 "You adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore, whoever chooses to be a friend of the world renders himself an enemy of God."
John 15:18-25
Disciples’ Relation to the World
18 “If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you.
19 If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, because of this the world hates you.
20 Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A slave is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will persecute you as well; if they followed My word, they will follow yours also.
21 But all these things they will do to you on account of My name, because they do not know the One who sent Me.
22 If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not have sin; but now they have no excuse for their sin.
23 The one who hates Me hates My Father also.
24 If I had not done among them the works which no one else did, they would not have sin; but now they have both seen and hated Me and My Father as well.
25 But this has happened so that the word that is written in their Law will be fulfilled: ‘They hated Me for no reason.’"
Those who are attempting to manipulate the world to like them are themselves worldly. These people hate Christ even when they pretend to love Him, and they hate us because we love Him.
Born Again and the Holy Spirit, No one can have one without the other.
The Holy Spirit is only given to those who have trusted in Christ and have been changed into a new creation by Him.
The Fruit of the Holy Spirit are the character qualities of Christ dwelling in full measure in the Holy Spirit.
How many times have you been in company with someone who attends a church and even reads their Bible, but acts embarrassed to hear the sound of the name of Jesus Christ, and worse, they do not speak of Him themselves.
Anyone who decided they wanted to be a Christian because attending a group makes them feel accepted and safe, but has no desire to obey all of what is in the Word of God, probably never trusted in Christ.
Those who have been changed by Christ into a new creation love Him above everyone and everything else. Whatever they talk about, wherever they go, and whomever they see, the name of Jesus Christ is continually and regularly on their lips.
John 14:15 "If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. 16 And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate to be with you forever."
1 John 3:22-24
"And we will receive from Him whatever we ask, because we keep His commandments and do what is pleasing in His sight. And this is His commandment: that we should believe in the name of His Son, Jesus Christ, and we should love one another just as He commanded us. Whoever keeps His commandments remains in God, and God in him. And by this we know that He remains in us: by the Spirit He has given us."
2 John 1:6 "And this is love, that we walk according to His commandments. This is the very commandment you have heard from the beginning, that you must walk in love."
To walk in love toward others, we will be walking according to the commandments of God.
Matthew 7:21 "Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of My Father in heaven."
Those who are pretenders are those who join churches for their own good feelings of safety and pleasure; they have no interest in being changed by Christ and often make up their own rules not mentioned or mandated by God.
1 Peter 1:22 "Since you have purified your souls by obedience to the truth so that you have a genuine love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from a pure heart."
Those who obey Christ are the ones who have genuine love for their brothers and sisters in Christ. Those who do not obey the Word do not love Christ or one another.
Matthew 7:15-17 "15 Beware of false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. 16By their fruit you will recognize them. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit."
Galatians 5:22-23
"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."
When we meet those who fight against the truth, act superior to others without love, and resist anyone who corrects them, we know we have met a pretender.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no account of wrongs. Love takes no pleasure in evil, but rejoices in the truth."
The Holy Spirit is the very embodiment of this fruit, and everyone who is born again has the Holy Spirit and all His fruit.
The Fruit of the Holy Spirit are the character qualities of Christ dwelling in full measure in the Holy Spirit.
How many times have you been in company with someone who attends a church and even reads their Bible, but acts embarrassed to hear the sound of the name of Jesus Christ, and worse, they do not speak of Him themselves.
Anyone who decided they wanted to be a Christian because attending a group makes them feel accepted and safe, but has no desire to obey all of what is in the Word of God, probably never trusted in Christ.
Those who have been changed by Christ into a new creation love Him above everyone and everything else. Whatever they talk about, wherever they go, and whomever they see, the name of Jesus Christ is continually and regularly on their lips.
John 14:15 "If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. 16 And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate to be with you forever."
1 John 3:22-24
"And we will receive from Him whatever we ask, because we keep His commandments and do what is pleasing in His sight. And this is His commandment: that we should believe in the name of His Son, Jesus Christ, and we should love one another just as He commanded us. Whoever keeps His commandments remains in God, and God in him. And by this we know that He remains in us: by the Spirit He has given us."
2 John 1:6 "And this is love, that we walk according to His commandments. This is the very commandment you have heard from the beginning, that you must walk in love."
To walk in love toward others, we will be walking according to the commandments of God.
Matthew 7:21 "Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of My Father in heaven."
Those who are pretenders are those who join churches for their own good feelings of safety and pleasure; they have no interest in being changed by Christ and often make up their own rules not mentioned or mandated by God.
1 Peter 1:22 "Since you have purified your souls by obedience to the truth so that you have a genuine love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from a pure heart."
Those who obey Christ are the ones who have genuine love for their brothers and sisters in Christ. Those who do not obey the Word do not love Christ or one another.
Galatians 5:14
"The entire law is fulfilled in a single decree: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
"The entire law is fulfilled in a single decree: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
Matthew 7:15-17 "15 Beware of false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. 16By their fruit you will recognize them. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit."
Galatians 5:22-23
"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."
When we meet those who fight against the truth, act superior to others without love, and resist anyone who corrects them, we know we have met a pretender.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no account of wrongs. Love takes no pleasure in evil, but rejoices in the truth."
The Holy Spirit is the very embodiment of this fruit, and everyone who is born again has the Holy Spirit and all His fruit.
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