Controlling types, love to judge others over things that do not matter or have no Biblical basis. They demand that we buckle under to their mandates, but will not bend at all to understand the thinking of anyone else. These people are what make up cults that focus on deeds and personal achievement while neglecting the weightier matters of inner spiritual character.
Kind, loving and giving believers are targets for these people. Since we have within us the desire to honor God in all our ways, we take the scripture very seriously that tells us to love our enemies.
What we neglect often, are the scriptures that instruct us to be bold, speak truth and stand firm when attempts are made to manipulate us into capitulating to the thinking of the self righteous ones, who love to elevate their status above anyone who will not bow to their whims.
When we evaluate all that is said to us, all that is done to us and all that pressures us, in light of the Word of God, we are free to reject teachings and people who would drag us into their false form of religion.
The only ONE who should be controlling us is Christ, all others may interject from God's Word, but they may not control us. If we are doing or saying things to please people who are attempting to intimidate us or control us then we need to re-evaluate our words and actions to come in line with God rather than man.
When we encounter a controller, we must never allow them to continue, we must stand up to them with the Word and reject the notion that they have the right to walk all over us.
We may have to be walked on at times by non-believers for the sake of the gospel, but we are called to correct a believer who has the propensity to use intimidation to control others.
A truly loving believer will not bludgeon another brother or sister, they will share, correct even rebuke, but they will not manipulate or intimidate with covert threats to repress forcibly the heart of another human being.
Anyone can intimidate someone else into doing what they want them to, but that does not change their heart. When we rebuke and even withdraw from a person who will not stop sinning, we are merely doing what God commanded us to do, it is not of our own flesh, but under God's direction. He will see to the effects in someone's life. We are not to deliberately treat someone in a mean way simply because they disagree with us about a non-salvation issue.
Colossians 2:16 "Let no man therefore judge you in meat, or in drink, or in respect of an holyday, or of the new moon, or of the sabbath days:"
There are many believers fighting over things that don't matter, they will use hateful language to hurt the hearer. There is no need for mean language or elevated voices when we are sharing, the only purpose for these things is to beat a person down to make them feel small, dishonored and disrespected. It is deliberate on the part of mean spirited hearts that feel a need to be elevated by bringing down others.
We must be direct and factual, the goal is to inform, not to destroy another human being.
God will not change those who only want His "stuff." He only changes those who are broken and desire to be changed by Him into a new creation.
When I became saved I fell to my knees in deep sorrow over my sinfulness and never wanted to return to it. Each sinful thought after that was met with conviction and cleansing. I began to develop a love for the Word of God, while desiring the fellowship of godly believers.
Everyone who becomes born again must come to Christ the same way, in deep sorrow over their sinfulness with a desire to be cleansed by Christ. After that there should be a hunger to know God better, a ravenous appetite for the Word of God, wisdom and prayer. There should also be a love for the Brethren that is greater than any love we have for anyone else.
1 John 3:14 "We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death."
Psalm 51:17 "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise."
Anyone who comes to God without brokenness over their sinfulness was never born again. If they joined a church club, enjoyed the antics and programs, said the words they were told to say without conviction about them, were merely entering into a superficial dead experience that did not save them. They were given a false security based on feelings and pleasure.
A person who entered the church gathering this way will only dilute the gathering, feeling safe, they will not add to the strength of the worship, unless they learn the true way of salvation and become born again. Without correction and challenge they will remain superficial and even regress as time goes on, they will become weary of the pretense and return to their vomit.
Proverbs 26:11 "As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly."
Those who have been born again through repentance and cleansing by Christ, not only continue with Him, but grow stronger and bolder as time goes on.
Those who are pretenders will become hostile the first time they are confronted, many church goers know this deep in their heart, wanting them to stay, they neglect the test that is necessary to weed out the goats from the sheep. That test being a challenge to everything that is not Biblical.
Pretenders do not love the Brethren, they join he gathering to get for themselves without concern for anyone else in the body. Their main objective is to be accepted as they are, while harming anyone in the body who threatens their elevated view of themselves.
Unfortunately many pretenders are never challenged, they remain in the church gathering to influence weak and new believers.
1 Corinthians 15:33 "Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals."
1 Thessalonians 5;21 "Prove all things; hold fast that which is good."
Want to discern the character of a pretender? Simply correct them when they bring bad theology or attitudes and watch what comes out, this will give you strong clues. A true believer will welcome a challenge, go home to seek the Word to find the answer while praying. The true believer does not become offended by a challenge because they are only interested in truth, they are not the focus of the challenge, truth is and they desire that.
The pretenders often becomes hostile and vengeful when challenged, even attacking the one who brought truth. Pretenders must maintain their elevated view of themselves through attacks on the believer. Truth is not very important to them, only their appearance, what looks superficially good is all the pretender cares about.
The pretender will run from a challenge and even destroy the reputation of the believer who confronted them, to discredit them. When they have sufficiently managed to polarize believers in the church, they have a sense of victory, they remain in their prideful and sinful stance while glorying over the division they created. They care nothing of the spiritual health of their brothers and sisters, but care deeply about their desire to remain sinful and still be accepted.
It takes time to get to know these people, they tend to hide until they are caught, watch their language, their actions and attitudes, over time it will become evident who the pretender is, they cannot hide or pretend forever, eventually their real selves will emerge, sadly by then, they will have managed to bludgeon and discredit true believers ruining any influence the godly man or woman may have had to help brothers and sisters to grow spiritually.
Most of our churches are in this condition, besides the unBiblical nature of the gathering, there is a large smattering of pretenders who keep the gathering impotent through the fear of offending the pretender.
Pretenders cause trouble, through drama, bad influence on new and baby believers while maligning the reputation of those who are deeply committed to love for God and His principles and commands.
Many godly believers are leaving the organized apostate church because they are feeling a dearth of proper and convicting preaching while spending far too much time rebuking sin and bad theology. I have known several cases where godly loving people were asked to leave a church because the unBiblical leadership refused to hear a correction or rebuke.
Amos 8:11 "Behold, the days come, saith the Lord GOD, that I will send a famine in the land, not a famine of bread, nor a thirst for water, but of hearing the words of the LORD:"
The solution: For the pretenders to become born again and for the believers to boldly speak truth and moving on when no one will listen while never neglecting to seek God no matter who comes against us.
I would rather be pleasing to God, than loved by every man.
Proverbs 29:25 "The fear of man brings a snare, But he who trusts in the LORD will be exalted."
