Kind, loving and giving believers are targets for these people. Since we have within us the desire to honor God in all our ways, we take the scripture very seriously that tells us to love our enemies.
What we neglect often, are the scriptures that instruct us to be bold, speak truth and stand firm when attempts are made to manipulate us into capitulating to the thinking of the self righteous ones, who love to elevate their status above anyone who will not bow to their whims.
When we evaluate all that is said to us, all that is done to us and all that pressures us, in light of the Word of God, we are free to reject teachings and people who would drag us into their false form of religion.
The only ONE who should be controlling us is Christ, all others may interject from God's Word, but they may not control us. If we are doing or saying things to please people who are attempting to intimidate us or control us then we need to re-evaluate our words and actions to come in line with God rather than man.
When we encounter a controller, we must never allow them to continue, we must stand up to them with the Word and reject the notion that they have the right to walk all over us.
We may have to be walked on at times by non-believers for the sake of the gospel, but we are called to correct a believer who has the propensity to use intimidation to control others.
A truly loving believer will not bludgeon another brother or sister, they will share, correct even rebuke, but they will not manipulate or intimidate with covert threats to repress forcibly the heart of another human being.
Anyone can intimidate someone else into doing what they want them to, but that does not change their heart. When we rebuke and even withdraw from a person who will not stop sinning, we are merely doing what God commanded us to do, it is not of our own flesh, but under God's direction. He will see to the effects in someone's life. We are not to deliberately treat someone in a mean way simply because they disagree with us about a non-salvation issue.
Colossians 2:16 "Let no man therefore judge you in meat, or in drink, or in respect of an holyday, or of the new moon, or of the sabbath days:"
There are many believers fighting over things that don't matter, they will use hateful language to hurt the hearer. There is no need for mean language or elevated voices when we are sharing, the only purpose for these things is to beat a person down to make them feel small, dishonored and disrespected. It is deliberate on the part of mean spirited hearts that feel a need to be elevated by bringing down others.
We must be direct and factual, the goal is to inform, not to destroy another human being.
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