Narcissists never feel bad for how they hurt you, they only feel angry that you expressed your feelings about it.
Friday, March 22, 2024
Can You Hurt the Narcissists Ego?
Answered by
Ashley Allen
Can you hurt a narcissist's ego?
You will hurt their ego by just breathing.
Calling them out on something they did.
Not responding to a text fast enough.
Not giving them sexual gratification per their requirement.
Boundaries of any kind.
Attention given to others.
Any silent treatment from you.
Being happy without them.
Being independent.
LEAVING for good.
You’ll live your life walking on eggshells around them. They’ll make your life hell just by existing as a normal human being.
Save yourself. Everything will be blamed on you. And they’ll make you pay.
Gossip Often is Repeated Through the Problem Person
Be careful what you believe when someone gossips to you, you may be hearing the information from the problem.
Leveraging Others to Harm their Target
Whenever someone uses others as leverage to intimidate us we can be sure we are being gaslit.
In my experience, narcissists often act or speak as though everyone else thinks the way they do about us.
When we see narcissistic tactics being used without remorse or confession of wrong we must remove these people from our lives. Nothing good will be accomplished in conversation with them, only harm will come to us and they will feel elevated and powerful.
Proverbs 29:8-10 "…8Mockers inflame a city, but the wise turn away anger. 9 If a wise man goes to court with a fool, there will be raving and laughing with no resolution. 10 Men of bloodshed hate a blameless man, but the upright care for his life.…"
God calls hatred the same as murder. There is bloodshed in the hearts of those who manipulate, mock, and demean while lying to accomplish all of this. These are murderers at heart, without repentance they will not receive forgiveness nor will anything be resolved.
God says in 2 Timothy 3:1-5 "get away from such people."
Light Has No Fellowship With Darkness
Does your family despise you because you love Christ and His Word the Bible?
My relatives who say they are Christians despise me for correcting their disregard for God's Word.
My children hate me and even now my grandchildren have nothing to do with me because of the influence of their parents.
Lot the same thing, almost everyone who should have loved Noah and Lot perished in the destruction of the city and then of the world.
We are living as in the days of Noah and Lot, very much alone being accused of things others are doing but we are not.
This ought to make us joyful that we do not fit in with the world, nor are we intimidated by their manipulation to discredit, disregard and gossip against us. God said this would happen in these last days and we are watching prophesy play out just as God said it would.
Matthew 10:21-22 "…21Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rise against their parents and have them put to death. 22 You will be hated by everyone because of My name, but the one who perseveres to the end will be saved. "
And, remember that many of these family members who hate you are in the apostate churches. They hate the truth and love the deception, any truth-teller who exposes the last days church will be treated disrespectfully and gossiped against. It's not about you or me, its about their rebellion against God, we don't have to take it personally or react to it.
2 Timothy 3, "they will have a form of religion but deny God's word" to justify their own rebellion against it and against Him.
They want "religion" but they do not want Christ.
Discerning the Authentic Believer from the False Convert
One of the techniques of today's culture is the practice of "gaslighting" others to manipulate them into thinking they have done something wrong when the accusers are the ones who are doing ungodly unkind things.
The gaslighter will accuse their target of things the gaslighter is doing but those they accuse are not doing.
I was once called "rebellious" because I spoke the truth to my husband in conversations. The accuser wanted all authority over his wife and couldn't stand that I had the freedom to express myself with my own husband so he judged my marriage without any information except a couple of times I spoke the truth to him and to my husband. This person believed that women should be seen and not heard so he declared any woman who speaks her mind with confidence as a rebellious woman.
In reality, this accuser is rebellious in his own heart because of his continual violations of the Scripture while claiming to be a "Christian." He uses the excuse that I am a woman and he doesn't have to listen to me because of my gender.
Those who are rebellious controllers will accuse truth-tellers of sinning when the rebellious controller is the one who sins.
This is one of the devil's favored tactics, to accuse the brethren of being the problem when it is the devil and those he uses who are the wicked ones.
Revelation 12:10
"10 And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, “Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God."
Those who are controlled by the devil will do the same things the devil does. They will even make their disrespect and contentiousness look like righteousness by taking out-of-context passages from the Bible to make them say what they like rather than what God meant.
When we meet someone who makes a practice of attempting to turn others against us through gossip and false doctrine it is time to remove them from our lives, praying that one day God will be able to reach them His way without us.
Proverbs 22:24-25 "24Do not make friends with an angry man, and do not associate with a hot-tempered man, 25or you may learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.…"
Controlling narcissists are angry all the time. Their anger is right below the surface waiting to emerge at the slightest perceived injury. It is impossible to have a rational conversation with someone who hates us enough to rage over minor things while refusing to allow us to be ourselves and have our own say.
These controllers are convinced they are perfect and right, or at least want others to elevate them as though they are perfect. When someone is outspoken and Biblical these ragers refuse to listen and exact revenge against us when we cannot be intimidated by them. They will work to turn others against us making themselves feel supported in their hatred for those who will not put up with their nonsense.
The reason I write of this so often is because the mentality of the end times is growing radically as we march toward the tribulation. 2 Timothy 3 is the evidence God gives us and the proof is in what we see regularly in our day. Here is what God says will happen in the last days of apostasy and sadly in the churches.
2 Timothy 3:1-5
Difficult Times Will Come
1 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."
The churches are full of "religious" people who claim to be Christian but have never been born again. This is the reason we become confused, we are listening to the words they say rather than looking for the fruit of the Spirit in them.
Galatians 5:22-23
"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."
When someone lacks all this fruit, never seems to have joy and is easily offended over the smallest matters, we are likely watching a pretender.
One thing is for sure, our Spirit will bear witness with the Spirit of Christ in any authentically born-again believer. When we meet with pretenders we will not sense any connection with their spirit, because the Holy Spirit does not live in them.
When we test the Spirit by speaking the Words of God and are met with contention and angst, we know that person is not born-again.
Matthew 7:15-20
A Tree and Its Fruit
15 “Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves.
16 You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes, nor figs from thistles, are they?
17 So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit.
18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit.
19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.
20 So then, you will know them by their fruits."
False prophets and teachers will attract false converts. Those who are authentically born again will be able to discern those who are false and those who are genuine.
Who We Focus on Exposes our Mindset
I am convinced when we put the focus on how others "make us feel" because we care way too much about how others think about us. It doesn't matter what they think about us, it only matters what God thinks of us.
Those who rage when someone disagrees with them we are watching someone who is deeply insecure and cares too much about what others think of them. They are controlled by the devil and by others, not the Holy Spirit.
Joy and Happiness are Two Different Things
A need for "happiness" is an indicator of lack of faith and insecurity, even immaturity. When we are born again our joy never leaves us even through all we have to endure on this earth. We can grieve and weep over hard things and still have the joy of the Lord because we know He has us.
Happiness is based on external circumstances but the joy of the Lord is based our our eternal relationship with the Holy God.
Nehemiah *:10 "Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the Lord is your strength."
Those who were Born Again were Changed by Christ They Didn't Change Themselves
Anyone who walks away from Christ was never born again, they were pretenders.
1 John 2:18-20 "18 Children, it is the last hour; and just as you have heard that the antichrist is coming, so now many antichrists have appeared. This is how we know it is the last hour. 19They went out from us, but they did not belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us. But their departure made it clear that none of them belonged to us. 20 You, however, have an anointing from the Holy One, and all of you know the truth.…"
Those who have been changed into a new creation by Christ cannot walk away. They are sealed with the Holy Spirit of Promise as a guarantee of their inheritance.
Ephesians 1:13-14
"13 In Him, you also, after listening to the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation—having also believed, you were sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of the promise, 14 who is a first installment of our inheritance, in regard to the redemption of God’s own possession, to the praise of His glory."
Those who belong to Christ aren't thrown away because they sin they are disciplined.
Hebrews 12:5-7 "…5 And you have forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons: “My son, do not take lightly the discipline of the Lord, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you. 6 For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastises every son He receives.” 7 Endure suffering as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?…"
There is not one example in the New Testament of the Holy Spirit leaving someone who was born again. When Christ changes us we cannot go back and be the old thing again.
2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, this person is a new creation; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come."
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