When narcissists can no longer control your emotions they will tell lies, twist facts, and make you seem unstable to control how others see you. Destruction of our reputation will be the next step to harm their victim in some way.
Remember this is what the devil did in the garden with Eve. He managed to convince Eve not to listen to God because God was not telling her the whole truth. In other words, God was lying to her freeing her to be able to ignore God.
I have seen this exact same tactic in human interpersonal relationships. Those who are jealous and hate us for silly reasons because they cannot stand to see us confident and joyful will attempt many things to turn others against us.
Proverbs 29:9:
"If a wise person goes to court with a fool, the fool rages and scoffs, and there is no peace."
Psalm 58:3 "Even from birth the wicked go astray; from the womb they are wayward, spreading lies".
The narcissist is basically a fool frot with internal guilt and malice, to the point they must make others look like the problem to take the focus off of their own sin.
When we are personally treated with contempt for the slightest perceived offense without an explanation as to the specific transgression, we can be sure a narcissist is attempting to manipulate others to be against us.
It is one of the methods to plant lies in the minds of others that make them pull back from us. Those who listen to the narcissist must also be ignored. After all, if they will believe gossip they did not see for themselves, they are aligned with evil and cannot be trusted to believe the truth.
The narcissist doesn't ever have open honest discussion about the specifics of what we did that deserved this contempt, because if they were to be honest the offense they have would sound silly and petty to a rational person.
It has been my experience that a narcissist will say things like, "they are mean" or "They are selfish" without any evidence to prove these accusations. Their assertions are always in generalities and when asked to give specifics they shut down the conversation through rage, hoping to intimidate the one asking questions to clarify, to end it so they don't have to answer.
Narcissists always speak in generalities and adamantly resist questions to clear up things. They see questioning them as manipulation, because if they were questioning someone it would be for the purpose of tripping up their target, not for discovering the truth.
Narcissists view questioning as leaving them in the subordinate position because they must defer to the one asking by complying. All the narcissists I have met refuse to answer questions.
Raging and resisting open dialogue is the go-to tactic of those who love the drama and worse, they love to win. They don't care about truth, only about winning. They consider it a win when their target becomes upset and frustrated or when they have managed to turn someone else against their target.
The strategies of the narcissist are numerous and always malevolent, full of anger and hatred. In other words it is the devil who is influencing them without their knowledge. He plants ideas in their heads as he did with Eve in the garden and then they believe it because their heart likes what they are hearing in their heads.
This problem of devilish hatred and lack of cooperation to resolve a problem is present in all people who view themselves as superior to others. Dialoguing to consider someone else is anathema to the one who must feel superior to others.
From all I have seen I know that mankind is born with this but there are some families who are predisposed to this mentality of superiority more than others. There is a genetic component to this matter that thrives in certain families.
The only way to overcome this is to refuse to engage with those who love themselves above God and others. We can pray for them but this does not mean we should spend time with them. They are nothing but trouble and drama in everything we do with them.
They never miss an opportunity to display rudeness, lies, and deception to elevate themselves and blame it on their targets.
I have witnessed narcissists turn children against their parents on the testimony of the children alone, without speaking to the parents. I have seen them embellish things about others based on guesses they think might be going on without any personal witness to the truth about the situation. And, worse those who hear believe the narcissist without question.
I have even seen them "guess" that a man left his domineering wife for another woman, blaming the woman for everything. From what I saw the woman was not controlling and domineering, she was merely attempting to guide her family down a righteous path. It was the husband who was evil not the wife. This was irrational since the judging woman did not live in that home to see all that went on there. Guessing about what might be happening is sin, based on a desire to justify the man's horrendous sin while blaming the wife for it.
Those who are continually judging the hearts of others will make up lies to support their desired belief to make themselves seem righteous and superior. They will judge silly things without any evidence. They will judge the person they don't like, who they can't control as the villain in their saga while propping up the real villain.
One woman judged me as having not provided good food for my husband who had kidney stones. This person wanted to blame me for my husband's kidney stones. By the way, kidney stones are genetic in my husband's family, and I didn't cook for any of his family members. This is irrational and unnecessary for the woman to make a judgment on it, the only reason to attempt to judge it was to make the target feel bad in some way, diminishing her joy at recovery, even burdening her further during a difficult time of recovery.
This same woman told me I didn't need gallbladder surgery after the surgery, because I could have cured it naturally. It was obvious that this person was not a doctor, had never been in the lab to even see the gall bladder, and had not spoken to my doctor. But in her mind, she knew all about my situation and demeaned me for making my own personal decisions about my own healthcare. This is irrational to make a decision about something without any information to back it up. It is a deliberate attempt to negate me as a person. This "know-it-all" mentality is always associated with narcissism. What other reason could there be to tell a person after their surgery how foolish they were for doing something that was a good thing?
Those who are hell-bent on mocking, demeaning, and gossiping against others cannot be trusted on any level. Even their kind acts are suspect, they are done to manipulate, impress, and deceive others.
If I were to put all my personal experiences with narcissists in a book it would be lengthy. We live in a region where narcissism is rampant, rudeness is common, and rarely do others care about anyone but themselves.
The narcissist would call this paranoid, I am convinced we are living in the last days described in 2 Timothy 3 when every mentality of the heart is based on ruining others to elevate self.
When I pondered and prayed about this one day I realized how entrenched these last days are in the attitudes of the days of Noah, in which everyone did what was right in their own eyes and no one would listen to truth or instruction. In other words, each person on the earth would only believe what they wanted to and would trample on anyone who came along and told them a rational and reasonable, and Biblical way to think.
Then I asked myself what the days of Noah looked like, that cleared everything up for me. One family was saved from the flood out of millions of people who perished for their wickedness in that flood.
Even many of Noah's family were in the water below the boat just as now when the family members of born-again believers will not be in the rapture when it comes.
Everyone makes an off comment from time to time without meaning to be mean. With the narcissist, the rude and mean comments are continual, regular and so much so that they are expected when we share anything with them we can expect the same attitude every time. They are seriously predictable but think they are clever.
God was clear to stay away from those who are divisive and contemptuous.
Proverbs 18:2-3 "…2 A fool does not delight in understanding, but only in airing his opinions. 3 With a wicked man comes contempt as well, and shame is accompanied by disgrace."
Psalm 1:1
"Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, or set foot on the path of sinners, or sit in the seat of mockers."
Psalm 36:1-2
"For the choirmaster. A Psalm of David, the servant of the LORD. An oracle is in my heart regarding the transgression of the wicked man: There is no fear of God before his eyes. For his eyes are too full of conceit to detect or hate his own sin."
Isaiah 57:20-21
"But the wicked are like the storm-tossed sea, for it cannot be still, and its waves churn up mire and muck. “There is no peace,” says my God, “for the wicked.”
Those who love Christ share in the burdens of others, they never diminish what their friends are going through or judge without cause. There is no love in the narcissist, we know because of the following passages.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
"4 Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant.
5 It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered,
6 it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
May believers recognize the wicked mentalities of the lost world and resolve to be different. May the guidance of the Holy Spirit bring them to a character based on love and selflessness. May we diminish so that Christ would increase.
