Many people now have set the wrong standard for their children by their own example, who are becoming grandparents today. They shake their heads and wonder why their children are speaking so disrespectfully to them, very likely they taught their children how to be disrespectful by the way they treated others. Children learn more by example than they do by words. There is a saying; "more is caught than taught."
When we set a wrong standard with our children because we are too lazy to teach them the right way, we cannot expect them to be better than the way we acted.
There are those who have attempted to raise their children with manners and standards but were thwarted at every turn by spouses or extended family and more disturbing the school systems that taught their children to trust the teachers over their own parent.
When a parent uses psychology as their standard they will be using man's standard over God's, causing rebellion and selfishness in the hearts of their children. Self-esteem has been fostered in the children all their lives for the past 50 years.
If anyone is wondering why this culture is so weak and self-absorbed it is because of the self-esteem teaching. When a child is completely self-absorbed they have no room in their heart for anyone but themselves. Even if they do a good deed for someone else they must be praised for it, given a trophy, and called a hero.
There was a day when we knew the right thing to do in helping someone else with something never expecting to be praised or rewarded for that act. The sense that we did the right thing was enough, there was no need for accolades from others.
Matthew 6:1-2 "1“Be careful not to perform your righteous acts before men to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. 2So when you give to the needy, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. Truly I tell you, they already have their full reward.…"
In giving out accolades like party favors we have created monsters who will not do a good deed unless they are praised for it. In fact the "entitlement" mentality drives our culture in which every good deed must have its immediate reward or there is anger in the heart of the one who did that deed.
This mentality of instant reward has permeated our culture so much so that good deeds are rare unless there is an agenda behind them. Even prayer in full church gatherings is to be seen and praised, with the hope that someone will notice and elevate the one who prays.
Matthew 6:5
"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. Truly I tell you, they already have their full reward."
Those with sincere hearts who love God need no human praise for their good deeds, they walk in joy that they are seen by God alone.
Matthew 6:1 "“Take care not to practice your righteousness in the sight of people, to be noticed by them; otherwise, you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven."
God does not want our gifts if they are given with the expectation that we will receive something back. If you love God and others you will not expect repayment nor will we tell anyone else what we are doing. God will reward us later, but that ought never to be the reason we give. We give because we want to glorify God in obedience to Him.
Matthew 23:4-6 "…4 They tie up heavy, burdensome loads and lay them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them. 5 All their deeds are done for men to see. They broaden their phylacteries and lengthen their tassels. 6 They love the places of honor at banquets, the chief seats in the synagogues,…"
One of the traits of those who wish to dominate others is to give to show off and judge others for what they are doing. If the others do not measure up to their idea of giving then they will be treated with contempt, disrespectfully.
Sadly the one who lays down the human standard and judges others is often not seeing what the others are doing because they do not parade their deeds. These others quietly and humbly obey God without fanfare, and yet the one who judges feels superior for something he/she knows nothing about.
We are to judge the sin we see and care enough to lovingly go to a person to restore them. However, God clearly told us not to judge what we cannot see. Often the wrong judgments have more to do with the contemptuous person desiring to believe something about someone and pretending it is true without clear evidence or knowledge.
Let us not dream up our own ways and cast them on others as though they are from God. Let us look deeply into the Word of God and speak what He says.
Deuteronomy 11:18
"Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as reminders on your hands and bind them on your foreheads."
Allow no one to place human restrictions upon you or judge you according to their own ideas. Let God's Word be your judge.
