Check the Character First

For all you young ladies who have boyfriends:

Pushing, shoving, manipulating and intimidating is not leading! 

1 Peter 3:7
"7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered."

Test your fella, say no to him occasionally when you really want to say no, of course with kindness and joyful spirit, and watch how he responds.  

How does he react when you express your concerns or desires?  Does he listen intently to discover who you are, or does he act disinterested and condescending? 

A true leader who is deeply in love with a woman, will be gentle, considerate, selfless and attentive.  

Luke 22:26 ""But it is not this way with you, but the one who is the greatest among you must become like the youngest, and the leader like the servant."

Leading is far different from tyranny.  A leader enjoys seeing those they love succeed. A narcissist is only interested in conquering others that they might be elevated. 

A narcissist will display often a sense of superiority, treating others as though they have nothing to offer or don't know what they are talking about.

This personality will dominate conversations, refuse to listen to others and make you glad when they leave.

They demand their way and punish anyone who will not give into them. 

When they cannot control others they will leave.

Proverbs 28:1 "The wicked flee when no one is pursuing, But the righteous are bold as a lion."

They are envious and will even sabotage any attempt on the part of others to be successful. They do not compliment others for their work or accomplishments, but require everyone around them to praise them.

These people will never accept blame or confess their own wrong. 

James 5:16 "Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much."

When they have been caught in a sin, no matter how small they will be angry as though it is unjust.

Narcissists do not have the ability to laugh at themselves, they will mock others but will be angry when someone else teases them.

They will not laugh at any one else's humor, but will laugh when the think they say something funny. Something very interesting to me that I have observed, is that they tend to laugh at the injuries of others.

When someone trips over a chair, they will laugh and not bother to help the person up from the floor.  I have actually seen this happen a number of times.  Their humor is based on seeing others fail.

The mentality that loves to see others fail while elevating self, is frightening, because some of these people claim to be Christians.  How can someone who loves God, and has been broken over their own sin think in this way?  

A religious narcissist will have a form of religion but will be mechanical in it, with very little fervency or dedication to more than minimal prayers and even childish incantations.  

In conclusion, ask the Lord to show you everything and even warn you, so that you can make a wise decision in whether or not to marry a boyfriend. If God warns you, do not hang around to just be friends, get away fast before your emotional love completely over takes you.

When we have "fallen in love", emotionally, all sense leaves our heads, we ignore and minimize many things that will be big problems in marriage.

I once heard it said, and I believe this is true, that "every character flaw we see before marriage is magnified one hundred fold after marriage." What seems unimportant now, will be a raging fire after one is married.

Read God's Word, pray and seek to learn the inner character of a man before making that life long commitment in marriage.

God's Work in Us!

Luke 13:3 "No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish."

Acts 17:30 "The times of ignorance God overlooked, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent,"

2 Peter 3:9 "The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance."

Repentance is a change of mind toward God, once we were hostile toward Him before we became born again, when we repent, we have changed our mind and are now inclined to love Him. Then He does the work in us.

Repentance is for the unbeliever, but confession is necessary for the believer to grow in holiness. If we do not confess our sin, we will be held accountable for it in terms of our lost rewards in heaven, but our salvation remains in tact.

Ephesians 2:10 "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them."

Written to Believers: 1 Corinthians 3:15 "If any man's work is burned up, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire."

Written to Believers: 1 John 2:1 "My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:"
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We do not have to worry about who is using an excuse or not, I can merely tell the truth of the word and God will sort them all out. If I try to withhold God's word so people don't get the wrong idea, then I am walking fleshly depending on my own cleverness to convince people rather than trusting God. He knows who is who, all I have to do is tell the truth of His word and He will take care of their hearts.

There are those who have twisted the scripture to say that one should not be wearing any jewelry, out of fear that someone may abuse it and look like Jezabel. No where in the word does God tell us not to wear Jewelry, in fact in Ezekiel 16 God gives it...See More

Written to Believers: James 5:16 "Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much."

Written to Believers: 1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."