"I always feel alone when I'm with a Narcissist." Scott Bassett
I had to share this quote, it is the way I felt regularly while growing up with narcissists.
Saturday, April 1, 2017
An Illusion of Righteousness
2 Timothy 3 types, lack character, they only have an illusion of goodness, they don't want to work hard or seek God for real goodness, they are not led by the Holy Spirit of God. Their good deeds are only verbal or minimal in order to keep the illusion active.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
"Holding to a form of godliness but having no power from God"
Verse 5
2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
"Holding to a form of godliness but having no power from God"
Verse 5
They 2 Timothy 3 Types
The 2 Timothy 3 types love knowledge but do not believe in anything. They worship self, God is an add on to their life to appear spiritual, but their real object of worship is themselves.
The 2 Timothy 3 types use God as a puppet while they are the puppet masters. Appearances are everything to the 2 Timothy 3 types. They use Him to elevate self in the eyes of those they wish to impress, while negating most of His Word. They want the power God has, but on their own terms without having to bow to Him.
The 2 Timothy 3 types want the power God has without having Him.
Many people today say they believe in "saved by grace and grace alone", while at the same time claiming they must be a part of that salvation by keeping what they didn't earn by works that cannot get them there.
The 2 Timothy 3 types, believe in the power of God but their god is themselves. The god they follow has no power to save them from hell all by himself but must have their help. These people have a limited view of God's power, one that is insufficient just as his death on the cross was insufficient.
The 2 Timothy 3 types, believe god needs our help in salvation, that He needs us to do certain things for Him to be able to act. You see, their god is not the God of the Bible, but the impotent and helpless god of humanism. One that must be controlled and manipulated according to their wills.
In the minds of the 2 Timothy 3 types, God died to provide all their physical, material and emotional needs. God is not about Him, but about them always about them.
How utterly devilish is the god of those who think they need to help Him in their salvation.
The god of the 2 Timothy 3 types is wimpy and impotent to do anything without their help. These same types, are deeply invested in an illusion that they are the one in control, god is just there to serve them. They lack passion about Christ, about the Bible or anything else except their own interests.
2 Timothy 3 types are more about the illusion than they are about truth or reality. They are more invested in words and superficial experiences than they are dedicated to Christ's principles.
2 Timothy 3 types are more interested in being independent from others than they are in being a member of a body that serves God together as a unit. They depend on others to elevate their status through praise but have none to give to others, even God, unless it will promote themselves. These types depend on others but hate it when anyone depends on them. They will never be there for others, only in superficial and non-sacrificial ways that ultimately end up giving them the glory.
2 Timothy 3 types love underlings, but refuse to ever be one themselves.
Those who have trusted Christ are completely comfortable with depending on Christ, they seek Him, but the 2 Timothy 3 type will not depend on Him in a very real way, it is only in words.
Reciprocity is normal and natural for a born again believer, it comes without thinking and without a need for glory. However the 2 Timothy 3 type, must be recognized for their good deeds and will not be helpful to others unless it gains them attention.
Believing in God is a superficially experienced exercise merely for the purpose of appearing righteous, they have no real interest in being anything, only appearing so.
Our churches are full of these people, you can discern them by their lack of interest in personal spiritual growth or any desire to become stronger in their Christianity. They are perfectly comfortable acting nice on the outside when it suites them. When they are challenged, even in the mildest terms to examine their own hearts, they will rage, leave the church or exact revenge on the one who called them to account.
God is more of a concept to the 2 Timothy 3 type, not a reality, someone to converse with regularly or to consult for problem solving. He is only a figment of their imagination to make themselves feel better. Much of what is going on in the church is play acting, pretending and excusing any and all ungodly behavior usually cloaked in "love", but not God's love, the love of the world.
1 John 2:15-16 "15 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh, the desires of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not from the Father but from the world.…"
The 2 Timothy 3 types are not sincere about any relationship, not with people and not with God no matter how much "god-speak" they use, they are all about words and talk, not about substance.
Everything the 2 Timothy 3 type does is out of fear to control others, they live in a life of fear even though they are attempting to convince others they are superior. No one who is secure in Christ feels a need to control anyone else.
These 2 Timothy 3 types are obsessed with competition to be above others, this trait will seek to destroy those who will not foster good relationships and will influence in negative ways others in the gathering or family in which they exist.
Love the 2 Timothy 3 type, pray for him/her, but be careful to hear the Holy Spirit in dealing with them, they are directed and spoken to by demons and their aim is to ruin the believer.
It is one thing to be friends with an unsaved sinner, it is quite another to be connected to a 2 Timothy 3 type, who claims to be a Christian but who is in rebellion. Remember verse 5 of this passage, "from such get away." They have the potential to do much damage to you and your relationships with others.
The 2 Timothy 3 types use God as a puppet while they are the puppet masters. Appearances are everything to the 2 Timothy 3 types. They use Him to elevate self in the eyes of those they wish to impress, while negating most of His Word. They want the power God has, but on their own terms without having to bow to Him.
The 2 Timothy 3 types want the power God has without having Him.
Many people today say they believe in "saved by grace and grace alone", while at the same time claiming they must be a part of that salvation by keeping what they didn't earn by works that cannot get them there.
The 2 Timothy 3 types, believe in the power of God but their god is themselves. The god they follow has no power to save them from hell all by himself but must have their help. These people have a limited view of God's power, one that is insufficient just as his death on the cross was insufficient.
The 2 Timothy 3 types, believe god needs our help in salvation, that He needs us to do certain things for Him to be able to act. You see, their god is not the God of the Bible, but the impotent and helpless god of humanism. One that must be controlled and manipulated according to their wills.
In the minds of the 2 Timothy 3 types, God died to provide all their physical, material and emotional needs. God is not about Him, but about them always about them.
How utterly devilish is the god of those who think they need to help Him in their salvation.
The god of the 2 Timothy 3 types is wimpy and impotent to do anything without their help. These same types, are deeply invested in an illusion that they are the one in control, god is just there to serve them. They lack passion about Christ, about the Bible or anything else except their own interests.
2 Timothy 3 types are more about the illusion than they are about truth or reality. They are more invested in words and superficial experiences than they are dedicated to Christ's principles.
2 Timothy 3 types are more interested in being independent from others than they are in being a member of a body that serves God together as a unit. They depend on others to elevate their status through praise but have none to give to others, even God, unless it will promote themselves. These types depend on others but hate it when anyone depends on them. They will never be there for others, only in superficial and non-sacrificial ways that ultimately end up giving them the glory.
2 Timothy 3 types love underlings, but refuse to ever be one themselves.
Those who have trusted Christ are completely comfortable with depending on Christ, they seek Him, but the 2 Timothy 3 type will not depend on Him in a very real way, it is only in words.
Reciprocity is normal and natural for a born again believer, it comes without thinking and without a need for glory. However the 2 Timothy 3 type, must be recognized for their good deeds and will not be helpful to others unless it gains them attention.
Believing in God is a superficially experienced exercise merely for the purpose of appearing righteous, they have no real interest in being anything, only appearing so.
Our churches are full of these people, you can discern them by their lack of interest in personal spiritual growth or any desire to become stronger in their Christianity. They are perfectly comfortable acting nice on the outside when it suites them. When they are challenged, even in the mildest terms to examine their own hearts, they will rage, leave the church or exact revenge on the one who called them to account.
God is more of a concept to the 2 Timothy 3 type, not a reality, someone to converse with regularly or to consult for problem solving. He is only a figment of their imagination to make themselves feel better. Much of what is going on in the church is play acting, pretending and excusing any and all ungodly behavior usually cloaked in "love", but not God's love, the love of the world.
1 John 2:15-16 "15 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh, the desires of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not from the Father but from the world.…"
The 2 Timothy 3 types are not sincere about any relationship, not with people and not with God no matter how much "god-speak" they use, they are all about words and talk, not about substance.
Everything the 2 Timothy 3 type does is out of fear to control others, they live in a life of fear even though they are attempting to convince others they are superior. No one who is secure in Christ feels a need to control anyone else.
These 2 Timothy 3 types are obsessed with competition to be above others, this trait will seek to destroy those who will not foster good relationships and will influence in negative ways others in the gathering or family in which they exist.
Love the 2 Timothy 3 type, pray for him/her, but be careful to hear the Holy Spirit in dealing with them, they are directed and spoken to by demons and their aim is to ruin the believer.
It is one thing to be friends with an unsaved sinner, it is quite another to be connected to a 2 Timothy 3 type, who claims to be a Christian but who is in rebellion. Remember verse 5 of this passage, "from such get away." They have the potential to do much damage to you and your relationships with others.
It has Infiltrated the Church
In the church there are many members who have a form of religion, lots of Bible knowledge, an appearance of goodness but no relationship with Christ. Not because they do not have good deeds, they have some of those, but because they are completely full of self that loves to appear righteous, but deeply inside they lack the depth of spirituality that comes from trusting in Christ.
“Becoming a Christian” whether through family tradition or a need to impress others with their goodness, does not bring salvation. Even all the right words do not bring salvation.
When appearances are paramount to their religious activities, then they must go back and ask themselves if they ever became born again.
So many believers are engaging in the superficial self-exalted life, that they fail to see their need for confession and contrition, (deeply sorrowful over sin and misdeads).
Those who walk closely with Christ are sensitive to the feelings of others. While they do not practice a lifestyle of sin, if they ever harm someone unknowingly or through an accident, they hurt for the other person, desiring to make sure they restore lost trust or harm by confessing it first to God and then to anyone they have harmed.
Superficial Christians brush off their mean deeds as they justify them, never considering how they have harmed others they excuse themselves and move forward in the relationship without resolution. This works a time or two but if it happens enough times, all trust is gone in the offended party and the relationship can never be close or restored until that needed brokenness in the offender.
It’s not that the offended party wants to hold a grudge, it’s that the expectation of anything better in the relationship is lost forever in their minds, moving on is the only option for those who have been assaulted by others who enjoy being superior and judgmental about unimportant matters.
Many things the offender does is based on guesses or assumptions about people without real understanding. In order to have understanding there must be openness, confession and dialogue showing interest in the well-being of the other person. Without this necessary progression in thinking and desire, there can be no relationship.
Philippians 2:3-13
“3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; 4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. 5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. 8 Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father 12 So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; 13 for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.”
As believers in Christ, if we are dedicated to living as Christ wanted us to live, He will work conviction in our hearts, warning us, prompting us that we have been offensive and wrongly assumed things, causing us to take the necessary steps to restore a relationship.
Those who are pretenders never take these steps and rage when told they should. A narcissist always blames others for the trouble they cause. Whatever they are doing that is mean or evil, they point the finger at others as if to make them the one who did these things. They never take responsibility for their own misdeeds, but always have a ready excuse as to why they acted the way they did.
All of their excuses are fabricated and imagined, rather than rooted in reality. They have “magical” thinking, a perfect vision of themselves that cannot be penetrated.
It is only in becoming born again by the Holy Spirit that these people can be cured of their sin sickness. Nothing we say, nothing we do will bring about a conscience in those who refuse to see the sinful side of themselves.
Whether or not the narcissist is born again is a very big question, since they lack the fruit of the Spirit, they lack compassion and empathy for anyone else and they have little interest in growing in holiness, since they believe they have already arrived at perfection, because of the “good deeds” they do, it is only God brining on them brokenness that can be the catalyst to spiritual healing.
Something interesting to ponder is that those who claim to be righteous, even if just in their own view, hardly ever help anyone when it doesn’t bring them personal glory in the act. All of the people I have seen who have an elevated view of their own importance, only do acts that are public and highly visible. At the same time they are doing these things, behind the scenes they are poking and picking at someone, those they consider to be lesser than they. If you want to find out the truth about someone, it might be a good idea to watch covertly the way they operate with those they have no respect for, it is horrendous how they can pretend in public a wonderful persona while in the back ground they are mean toward those who know them the best, usually those who have discovered their double standard and two faced personality.
I no longer place anyone on a pedestal as I used to when I was immature in my walk. I have seen far too many fakers who fool many people while in the shadows they lurk, growling and kicking at those who dare to reject their notion of elevated status. Anyone who does not fawn all over the narcissist are guaranteed targets, but so covertly that others do not notice and would not believe the one being kicked or growled at.
I still love people and desire for them to know God in a very personal way, a way that changed them into someone who not only talks the talk but also walks the walk. These are the ones who don’t have to convince others of their greatness, they just walk with Christ and it is evident to those who are Spiritual.
Those who merely talk the talk are described in the following passages:
John 12:43 “For they loved praise from men more than praise from God. “
John 4:40-42 “…40 yet you refuse to come to Me to have life. 41 I do not accept glory from men, 42 but I know you, that you do not have the love of God within you.…”
The final question: Do we want to be those who only want to be SEEN as godly, or do we want to BE what Christ intended for us to be through humbling ourselves while elevating Christ.
John 3:30
“30 He must increase, but I must decrease.”
“Becoming a Christian” whether through family tradition or a need to impress others with their goodness, does not bring salvation. Even all the right words do not bring salvation.
When appearances are paramount to their religious activities, then they must go back and ask themselves if they ever became born again.
So many believers are engaging in the superficial self-exalted life, that they fail to see their need for confession and contrition, (deeply sorrowful over sin and misdeads).
Those who walk closely with Christ are sensitive to the feelings of others. While they do not practice a lifestyle of sin, if they ever harm someone unknowingly or through an accident, they hurt for the other person, desiring to make sure they restore lost trust or harm by confessing it first to God and then to anyone they have harmed.
Superficial Christians brush off their mean deeds as they justify them, never considering how they have harmed others they excuse themselves and move forward in the relationship without resolution. This works a time or two but if it happens enough times, all trust is gone in the offended party and the relationship can never be close or restored until that needed brokenness in the offender.
It’s not that the offended party wants to hold a grudge, it’s that the expectation of anything better in the relationship is lost forever in their minds, moving on is the only option for those who have been assaulted by others who enjoy being superior and judgmental about unimportant matters.
Many things the offender does is based on guesses or assumptions about people without real understanding. In order to have understanding there must be openness, confession and dialogue showing interest in the well-being of the other person. Without this necessary progression in thinking and desire, there can be no relationship.
Philippians 2:3-13
“3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; 4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. 5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. 8 Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father 12 So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; 13 for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.”
As believers in Christ, if we are dedicated to living as Christ wanted us to live, He will work conviction in our hearts, warning us, prompting us that we have been offensive and wrongly assumed things, causing us to take the necessary steps to restore a relationship.
Those who are pretenders never take these steps and rage when told they should. A narcissist always blames others for the trouble they cause. Whatever they are doing that is mean or evil, they point the finger at others as if to make them the one who did these things. They never take responsibility for their own misdeeds, but always have a ready excuse as to why they acted the way they did.
All of their excuses are fabricated and imagined, rather than rooted in reality. They have “magical” thinking, a perfect vision of themselves that cannot be penetrated.
It is only in becoming born again by the Holy Spirit that these people can be cured of their sin sickness. Nothing we say, nothing we do will bring about a conscience in those who refuse to see the sinful side of themselves.
Whether or not the narcissist is born again is a very big question, since they lack the fruit of the Spirit, they lack compassion and empathy for anyone else and they have little interest in growing in holiness, since they believe they have already arrived at perfection, because of the “good deeds” they do, it is only God brining on them brokenness that can be the catalyst to spiritual healing.
Something interesting to ponder is that those who claim to be righteous, even if just in their own view, hardly ever help anyone when it doesn’t bring them personal glory in the act. All of the people I have seen who have an elevated view of their own importance, only do acts that are public and highly visible. At the same time they are doing these things, behind the scenes they are poking and picking at someone, those they consider to be lesser than they. If you want to find out the truth about someone, it might be a good idea to watch covertly the way they operate with those they have no respect for, it is horrendous how they can pretend in public a wonderful persona while in the back ground they are mean toward those who know them the best, usually those who have discovered their double standard and two faced personality.
I no longer place anyone on a pedestal as I used to when I was immature in my walk. I have seen far too many fakers who fool many people while in the shadows they lurk, growling and kicking at those who dare to reject their notion of elevated status. Anyone who does not fawn all over the narcissist are guaranteed targets, but so covertly that others do not notice and would not believe the one being kicked or growled at.
I still love people and desire for them to know God in a very personal way, a way that changed them into someone who not only talks the talk but also walks the walk. These are the ones who don’t have to convince others of their greatness, they just walk with Christ and it is evident to those who are Spiritual.
Those who merely talk the talk are described in the following passages:
John 12:43 “For they loved praise from men more than praise from God. “
John 4:40-42 “…40 yet you refuse to come to Me to have life. 41 I do not accept glory from men, 42 but I know you, that you do not have the love of God within you.…”
The final question: Do we want to be those who only want to be SEEN as godly, or do we want to BE what Christ intended for us to be through humbling ourselves while elevating Christ.
John 3:30
“30 He must increase, but I must decrease.”
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