I had lots of little tricks to teach lessons to the children, there were not always my own idea, I heard them sometimes on radio shows.
One day I became weary at the whining about the meals. I made wonderful casseroles often, if it was something the children had never tasted they would look in the dish and say "I don't like it." LOL
So one day I served 1/2 of cup of rise only to the children. Daddy got to have a full meal while the children were eating the 1/2 cup of rise for dinner.
On other days after that one meal of rice, they would look into the pot of stew and say, "what is it", I would say, "it's pig slop, are you going to eat it." After which they would reply, "it looks good Mom, yes we'll eat it."
See what 1/2 cup of rice can do, and it only needs to be done once. LOL
Interestingly enough, they ended up liking the food they said they "didn't like." Funny how motivating hunger can be.
Thursday, March 10, 2016
Sitting Down While Still Standing Up
We lived in a big old remodeled house in town when we were raising six children. The playroom was in the finished basement apartment, where they spent time after homework was done, playing games and watching television.
One day I was aggravated because I was sure they were ignoring me. I was raising my voice to be heard to call them up to help with dinner. But no one was coming, after several times of calling them, I suspected they were deliberately ignoring me.
Because I was sure they were ignoring me, I experimented, I said in a soft normal voice, "would anyone like an ice cream cone?" There was a stampeed to get upstairs, I was at the top of the stairs and said, "oh so you can hear me. Sorry there is no ice cream I was just asking to see if you could hear me." I didn't lie, I asked them if they would like one, I didn't say there was one.
I made the point that the children had selective hearing, which by the way is disobedience. I then made the point that partial obedience is also disobedience.
When one of the children was instructed to take his coat up stairs and hang it in his closet, he moved very slowly in an attitude of rebellion, then when he got to his bedroom door, he opened it and tossed it into the room, returning to report that he had taken his coat up stairs as I asked him to do, after which I launched into my teaching that partial obedience is no obedience at all. Moving slowly was a manipulative tactic to cause frustration, easily seen by a wise parent but difficult to prove.
We do this with God, we say we are "Bible Believing" Christians while at the same time ignoring most if not all of God's principles. We obey in one area...sort of ....and disobey most everything else. Somehow we get the feeling that if we did it partially, that is good enough.
I was not unhappy merely because the coat was tossed into a room rather than hung on the hook, I was dismayed that I was disregarded, ignored and even mocked by the act of disobedience and rebellion. I had an inkling how God feels when we flaunt our freedom through covert rebellion.
When we disregard another human being, especially those in authority over us, we send the message that we care nothing about pleasing or helping them.
Children should be trained to care about the desires of the authority over them, if they don't learn to honor those they can see, they will never have a desire to please God they cannot see.
Honor and respect are required for obedience, when this is absent, then relationships are ruined, there is chaos in the home and community and selfishness grows.
Those who think they have a right to dishonor and disrespect those in authority over them, cause continual trials and discord with everyone who will not cater to them. When someone says to you, "I don't respect you", either through words or deliberate covert actions, we know there is no hope for that relationship.
Only through repentance, a change of mind toward their actions, will there be a change in their behavior. If our mind is not changed about the evil that we do, then our better actions will only be temporary and hypocritical. When we obey on the outside and disobey on the inside, we remain in sin.
I am reminded of the story someone once told about a little boy who was told to sit down after being chastised. He boldly proclaimed to his father...." I am sitting down on the outside but on the inside I am standing up."
How many of us obey outwardly but hold rebellion in our hearts at the prospect of having to obey?
There must be brokenness over sin before the changed actions will be permanent spiritual growth. If we think we can pretend that we never did the evil, acting friendly the next time we see the person we offended, and all will be alright, we are prideful, avoiding the necessary confession of sin to reconcile a relationship. In short, the way we relate to the offended party will not change, only short term change and superficiality remain, no fix at all!
God requires confession, when we have to humble ourselves, become embarrassed over our sin, it is much more likely that we won't want to repeat that same sin again, then there is permanent growth in holiness.
1 John 1:9 "9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
2 Corinthians 7:1 "Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God."
Hebrews 12:14 "Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord."
1 Peter 1:15-16 "But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation (actions); Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy."
Psalm 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart:
try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
One day I was aggravated because I was sure they were ignoring me. I was raising my voice to be heard to call them up to help with dinner. But no one was coming, after several times of calling them, I suspected they were deliberately ignoring me.
Because I was sure they were ignoring me, I experimented, I said in a soft normal voice, "would anyone like an ice cream cone?" There was a stampeed to get upstairs, I was at the top of the stairs and said, "oh so you can hear me. Sorry there is no ice cream I was just asking to see if you could hear me." I didn't lie, I asked them if they would like one, I didn't say there was one.
I made the point that the children had selective hearing, which by the way is disobedience. I then made the point that partial obedience is also disobedience.
When one of the children was instructed to take his coat up stairs and hang it in his closet, he moved very slowly in an attitude of rebellion, then when he got to his bedroom door, he opened it and tossed it into the room, returning to report that he had taken his coat up stairs as I asked him to do, after which I launched into my teaching that partial obedience is no obedience at all. Moving slowly was a manipulative tactic to cause frustration, easily seen by a wise parent but difficult to prove.
We do this with God, we say we are "Bible Believing" Christians while at the same time ignoring most if not all of God's principles. We obey in one area...sort of ....and disobey most everything else. Somehow we get the feeling that if we did it partially, that is good enough.
I was not unhappy merely because the coat was tossed into a room rather than hung on the hook, I was dismayed that I was disregarded, ignored and even mocked by the act of disobedience and rebellion. I had an inkling how God feels when we flaunt our freedom through covert rebellion.
When we disregard another human being, especially those in authority over us, we send the message that we care nothing about pleasing or helping them.
Children should be trained to care about the desires of the authority over them, if they don't learn to honor those they can see, they will never have a desire to please God they cannot see.
Honor and respect are required for obedience, when this is absent, then relationships are ruined, there is chaos in the home and community and selfishness grows.
Those who think they have a right to dishonor and disrespect those in authority over them, cause continual trials and discord with everyone who will not cater to them. When someone says to you, "I don't respect you", either through words or deliberate covert actions, we know there is no hope for that relationship.
Only through repentance, a change of mind toward their actions, will there be a change in their behavior. If our mind is not changed about the evil that we do, then our better actions will only be temporary and hypocritical. When we obey on the outside and disobey on the inside, we remain in sin.
I am reminded of the story someone once told about a little boy who was told to sit down after being chastised. He boldly proclaimed to his father...." I am sitting down on the outside but on the inside I am standing up."
How many of us obey outwardly but hold rebellion in our hearts at the prospect of having to obey?
There must be brokenness over sin before the changed actions will be permanent spiritual growth. If we think we can pretend that we never did the evil, acting friendly the next time we see the person we offended, and all will be alright, we are prideful, avoiding the necessary confession of sin to reconcile a relationship. In short, the way we relate to the offended party will not change, only short term change and superficiality remain, no fix at all!
God requires confession, when we have to humble ourselves, become embarrassed over our sin, it is much more likely that we won't want to repeat that same sin again, then there is permanent growth in holiness.
1 John 1:9 "9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
2 Corinthians 7:1 "Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God."
Hebrews 12:14 "Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord."
1 Peter 1:15-16 "But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation (actions); Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy."
Psalm 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart:
try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
Answering a Fool!
If a narcissist can get you to react in anger to their attempt at devaluation of us, they will count themselves as having won their little game of covert aggression.
Isaiah 32:6 "
6 For the fool speaks folly, and his heart is busy with iniquity,
to practice ungodliness, to utter error concerning the Lord,
to leave the craving of the hungry unsatisfied, and to deprive the thirsty of drink."
Proverbs 10:23 "
23 Doing wrong is like a joke to a fool, but wisdom is pleasure to a man of understanding."
Proverbs 14:7 "
7 Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge."
Proverbs 13:20 "
20 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm."
There is good news, God can save a fool, of which we all are before we have become born again. We can pray for those who walk in foolishness, that God will reach them, no matter what it takes to break their stubborn will.
Then we can pray that God give us wisdom to respond to anything and everything that comes our way, according to His Word His Way!!
Isaiah 32:6 "
6 For the fool speaks folly, and his heart is busy with iniquity,
to practice ungodliness, to utter error concerning the Lord,
to leave the craving of the hungry unsatisfied, and to deprive the thirsty of drink."
Proverbs 10:23 "
23 Doing wrong is like a joke to a fool, but wisdom is pleasure to a man of understanding."
Proverbs 14:7 "
7 Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge."
Proverbs 13:20 "
20 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm."
There is good news, God can save a fool, of which we all are before we have become born again. We can pray for those who walk in foolishness, that God will reach them, no matter what it takes to break their stubborn will.
Then we can pray that God give us wisdom to respond to anything and everything that comes our way, according to His Word His Way!!
Disregarding God's Principles is Disregarding Him
God can also be permissive, but that does not mean He is endorsing our sin, He is however showing us where that sin leads and that is to serious consequences in this life and the next.
Just because you got away with sin in this life and were even embraced and encouraged in spite of it by men, does not mean that God has turned a blind eye to it.
Romans 2:16 "In the day when God shall judge the secrets of men by Jesus Christ according to my gospel."
Ecc. 12:14 "For God will bring every act to judgment, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil."
1 Corinthians 4:5 "Therefore do not go on passing judgment before the time, but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men's hearts; and then each man's praise will come to him from God."
Proverbs 28:13 "He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion."
Luke 12:1 "Under these circumstances, after so many thousands of people had gathered together that they were stepping on one another, He began saying to His disciples first of all,"Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy."
Luke 12:2-3 "
2 “But there is nothing covered up that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known.
3 “Accordingly, whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in the inner rooms will be proclaimed upon the housetops."
It never pays to dishonor and disregard God or His principles. To honor His principles is to honor Him, to disregard His principles is to disregard Him.
Just because you got away with sin in this life and were even embraced and encouraged in spite of it by men, does not mean that God has turned a blind eye to it.
Romans 2:16 "In the day when God shall judge the secrets of men by Jesus Christ according to my gospel."
Ecc. 12:14 "For God will bring every act to judgment, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil."
1 Corinthians 4:5 "Therefore do not go on passing judgment before the time, but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men's hearts; and then each man's praise will come to him from God."
Proverbs 28:13 "He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion."
Luke 12:1 "Under these circumstances, after so many thousands of people had gathered together that they were stepping on one another, He began saying to His disciples first of all,"Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy."
Luke 12:2-3 "
2 “But there is nothing covered up that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known.
3 “Accordingly, whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in the inner rooms will be proclaimed upon the housetops."
It never pays to dishonor and disregard God or His principles. To honor His principles is to honor Him, to disregard His principles is to disregard Him.
Trust not the Narcissist
Even though I am not in agreement with psychological teaching on anything, in terms of what causes things and what the solutions may be, I recognize that often the psychological profession does understand the tactics of evil people as described in 2 Timothy 3.
It is sad when the secular psychological entities can see these things but many if not most in the church do not recognize them. Most people in the church, even in leadership, have deeply narcissistic traits, able to manipulate people in many ways to believe false doctrine and give massive amounts of their money to these scam artists under the guise of "Christian leadership."
Some of the most legalistic groups are controlled by their leaders without questioning them. Anyone who will not question their leadership, using the Bible as their benchmark for truth, are being controlled and manipulated by the leaders rather than directed by God. The leaders have become the "gods" in the lives of these non-thinking people who prefer to be controlled rather than having to think for themselves. When a leader demands unquestioning authority over us, they are sinning and should either be rebuked or removed. If they will not listen, as narcissists who fight back instead of being humbled, then we must get away from them.
Leadership is not about controlling anyone. Leadership is service to others with the purpose of teaching truth from the Word. Any leaders who is worth anything will welcome questions, have answers and if they don't have an answer they will go to prayer and the Word to find the answer. A leader who arrogantly intimidates or fights back to maintain his elevated position is sinning and will not submit to anyone else.
The Bible teaches that all members of a body are to submit one to another, if a leader will not do this, if he will not be corrected then he is not leadership material.
Those who refuse to think for themselves in the congregation, will be led around like a bull with a ring in it's nose, because they fear rejection by those who would intimidate them. God's Word becomes less important than being accepted by others in the gathering.
If we are not willing to be rejected by all for Christ's sake and His principles, then we are not dedicated enough to Him, our gods are people and our aim is self acceptance.
We must become strong in the Holy Spirit, deciding to follow Christ, even if it means being rejected by everyone in our church gathering. When our church gathering and it's leaders become the authority over God's Word, then it is time to get out of there and begin again to trust Christ.
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